One Year Ago Today...

Hi everyone. I didn't want to say anything in particular, but I did want to make a special mention that it was one year ago today that two important events took place. The beautiful Terri Schiavo ended her long, horrible plight and returned to Heaven and I sent a note to someone from my past asking to be forgiven and attempting to invoke a healing dialogue. While I fear the world hasn't changed for the better in this past year, I know Terri is worlds happier and is enjoying every joy and blessing of Heaven. I wish I could say that her death and the heartbreaking situation the cruel and inhuman monster to whom she was espoused placed her in had changed the world somehow...maybe made us more compassionate or somehow more inclined to protect human life...I'm afraid that's, sadly, not the case. And as for my former friend...well he never replied and that's OK. What mattered most was that his heart heard my message. I believe it did. Someone more famous than me said recently that forgiveness doesn't have to be asked for in order to be given. And so it is.

God bless Terri Schiavo and the Schindler and Vitadamo families today and always. Their book about Terri's life, "A Life That Matters: The Legacy Of Terri Schiavo," is now available. Please pick that up. And please never forget that all human life is precious and beautiful. Our world is in a dangerous spiral, and the vitality and beauty of precious life seems to lose more and more recognition every day. It's up to us to change things. One heart at a time.

Cautious Optimism?

OK, so I had my job interview this morning. And I think it went well. I really do. So why is it, then, that I am so afraid to actually think that I've got a shot here? The people who interviewed me seemed very interested in the things I had to say. They took beaucoup notes, made sure to ask me to extrapolate on certain things, and seemed to enjoy meeting me. This type of work sounds wonderful - it's an opportunity to expand on my Federal HR skills and talents while cultivating new ones. Without naming names, I'll simply say that this is THE agency AT which most people in my discipline wish to work, so I am thrilled to have the opportunity. And although I think I did do well, I'm too afraid to let myself believe that it could really happen. They expect to make their decision in the nexct four weeks (FOUR WEEKS!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WAIT THAT LONG?!), and I'll be sure to let you all know what I find out. Please keep those fingers and toes crossed for me.

(As part of the interview, they placed me in a room by myself with a standalone PC and left me to write an essay. While I was typing, someone popped in and said, in an excited voice, "Hi there! Congratulations! Welcome to TheNameOfTheAgencyDeleted!!" Does she know something I don't...?)

I'm beat, so I am off to snuggle up to my family unit. Before I go, I'm behind on my "Idol" blogging, so here's my recap of tonight in a nutshell. As always, my Taylor was naturally fantastic. Paris and Elliott were the only other two performances tonight worth anything (and DAMN, Paris was good...work it, sister!) Although it should be Bucky that leaves us tomorrow night, I'm almost positive it will be Lisa. I was surprised that Katharine and Chris did as poorly as they did, but they are strong enough (as are their fan bases) that they won't be going anywhere anytime soon. Ace is skating by solely on his looks at this point, which is a shame because he really can sing. He's not showing that, and it's unfortunate. And even though I think Mandisa is wonderful, she way, way overdid that song tonight. Although it won't be tomorrow, Kellie's time needs to end. SOON.

That's it - I am off. Have a great one, everyone. And please, LEAVE ME COMMENTS! Please?

Long Time, No Jennifer

Hi everyone. I'm sorry that it's been a week (almost a whole week!) since I've posted. Hope that you're all doing well.

It's been a good and very busy week. Now that I am "DEU certified," I can actually generate our certificates. It feels good to make a contribution, and to make a dent, however small, in our backlog. I had a 24-hour tummy bug Tuesday night/Wednesday daytime, and took a day to rest and re-coup. When I called my amazing boss to tell her I'd not be in, she shared something very interesting with me. Earlier, I blogged about the local Federal Executive Board and indicated that my boss is a member of one of its subcommittees. I sat in for her once at one of the meetings, and met a handful of HR Directors at the other local Federal agencies. Apparently they met again last Tuesday, and one of the major Federal agencies in our area indicated a very quick need for Feddy HR Specialists...no competitive advertisements, no announcements, no DEUs...none of that. Quick reassignment actions. So she gave this highly influential individual my resume, and, to make a long story short, I have a job interview next Tuesday. I should be thrilled (I know!), but I guess I am just worried. Those of you who've been faithful readers of my blog know that I've gone back ("I can't leave here! How dare they BRAC us?!") and forth ("Get me out of here!") about this upcoming site closure and the loss of our jobs. And I know cognitively that I'd be an idiot not to take this job were it offered to me...but I'm still scared. I think I'm just scared to leave "that which I know" and take a chance on something new. I have to do this...I mean, August of 2008 is going to come and with it will come the loss of my job. I guess I'm just afraid. It's funny, here I was dreading this big reassignment to our DEU, and now that I'm there and certified (and enjoying it!), I may have to go. Maybe I'll just be happier when the commotion ends, when I am where "I'm supposed to be," and talks of BRACs and reassignments are a thing of the distant past. I don't like the uncertainty.

Amidst the excitement and nervousness of this big upcoming opportunity, three women in my life said some very amazing things to me this week. My mother told me that she and Daddy were over-the-top proud of me, and that they were thrilled to be my parents. That felt so good to hear. My Aunt Sharon send me a beautiful EMAIL mid-week that said "I love you very much. If I have or haven't ever told you, I am telling you now that I'm very proud of you, Jen." And the amazing EMAIL from my boss to the man with whom I'm interviewing next week sang more praises than I'm worth. I wish I had the confidence in me that these amazing women do. Nothing like a little uncertainty to shake your foundation.

(Why am I so gloom-and-doom here? I should be HAPPY, for goodness' sakes!)

Here's something happy to share with you - baby fever has struck! No, it's not me! Two women in my life are expecting and one just delivered this week! My new mother is a sorority sister and friend who delivered a gorgeous little girl on the 21st. Another sorority sister and my secret pal are both expecting!! I am so behind in getting the final package together for my SP. Here's a congratulatory card I made for her:



I hope this makes her smile. I used my Sizzix machine for the die-cuts, and a variety of cardstocks (Pale Plum, Pixie Pink, Bashful Blue, and Certainly Celery) and a stamp set ("Baby Talk") from Stampin' Up. The glue dots and the purple ink aren't from SU.

I also made her a froggy card (since she's bonkers about frogs), and will include this and the baby card in her final package (which I need to finish and get out to her post haste)...



(SU products used include the retired "Frogs & Flies" stamp set, Mellow Moss buttons, and cardstock in Mellow Moss and Pixie Pink. The colored pencils and white cardstock aren't from SU.)

Nothing much else to share with you...sorry. I'm dismayed that more of you aren't leaving me comments (not-so-subtle hint there, folks) and I can't stop singing Natasha Bedingfield's new song "Unwritten." Oh, and I need to get my car in to be looked at. Thrillingly exciting stuff, eh?

I'm In The Pink!

I am so excited and I have to tell the world!

My amazing husband just ordered me a new little present! A brand new, gorgeously pink, Creative Zen Microphoto 8GB MP3 player! Yay!

Back Home Agaiiiiin...In Kan-Sas Ciiity!

Hi everyone. Well, I'm home! Safe and sound and happy. Hope that you've all had a great weekend so far. Erin's visiting her grandparents this weekend, and so we're leaving momentarily to go and pick her up (I miss her something fierce and I can't wait to see her). Just wanted to post a few of the photos I took last week in Seattle before trekking up to Grandma's house. Enjoy!

(Oh, these photos were taken with my camera phone. I am amazed at how well they came out!)

Here we go...

Here are two shots of the Space Needle:





Our class was on the 28th floor of the Henry Jackson Federal Building in downtown Seattle. Here's a shot of the Bay from our classroom:



Last Wednesday was "National Coffee Break Day." As you know, I am not much of a coffee fiend. But hell, I was in Seattle. You know, the Starbucks-Capital-of-the-World! So on this beloved day of days, we trekked out and brought back free coffee. Here's a goofy shot from inside the Starbucks across the street from the Federal Building (and no, that's NOT me in the photo...I took the photo):



When we got back, I took a goofy shot of my desk. Here's everything your Jennifer needs to succeed in DEU training - her (very large) training book, a nifty highlighter, caffeine (hell, it's either a Coke or this free Starbucks, so why the hell not?), and her faaaaaaavorite lotion, "First Kiss" from Sunrise Soap!



Have a great day, everyone!

Jennifer-By-The-Bay, Part Trois

Well, today's my last day in frigid, frosty Seattle. Class ended well (although I stuck around for a bit to discuss transmutations) and I feel like I am going to go back better able to make a contribution to our DEU. I am really glad I came to this training. I just wish it'd been closer to home. I can't wait to get back tomorrow to my amazing family. Curt, Erin, and Goo-Doggy...Mommy misses you guys soooo much!

Nothing much new to report today. I stayed up too late last night (after having my share of beers at the hotel's free happy hour), so it will feel goooooood to lay down and rest. I think tonight I'll stick close to the hotel...read a bit, crochet, etc. I feel badly that I didn't get much of an opportunity to shop for anyone while I was here (to include my wonderful Secret Pal, who, I'm certain, thinks I've forgotten allllllll about her!) I always try to bring back knick-knacs for those I love whenever I go TDY. Oh well. Given the cold and the damp (and my lack of both a directional sense and a rental vehicle), any shopping plans I had were basically doomed from the start. I didn't want the hassle of a rental car, given the fact that it costs an arm and eight legs to park, both here at my hotel and downtown at the Federal Building. Ah....coulda, woulda, shoulda.

(Oh, I meant to tell you this yesterday. There's an amazing little deli in the Wells-Fargo Building downtown. It's called Georgio's Subs and they're awesome. I had lunch there every day because their salads are DELICIOUS! If you're in downtown Seattle and have a hankerin' for a salad or a sub, GO THERE!)

So, like I said, not much more to share with you, so instead of bloviating on and on about absolutely nothing, I'll spare you the e-rhetoric (and Blogger the bandwidth) and say goodnight. Hope you've all had a great week. Next stop, Kansas City!

(Isn't there a song about Kansas City with the lyric "Kansas City, here I come..."?)

Livin' La Dolce Vita

Hi everyone. I know I almost never post twice in one day, but I just had to come back and share something with all of you.

Thai food's not my thing, and since it's Thai night here at my hotel, my options were delivery pizza (no thanks) or to hoof it to a close-by restaurant. I took the suggestions of my friends at the front desk of my nice hotel, and off I went to La Dolce Vita. It was fantastic. Above fantastic. I got there early enough to basically have the place to myself. The food was FANTASTIC (I had Pollo Saltimbocca, sub roasted potatoes for the spinach). The portion was huge (I've got enough for lunch tomorrow). It was just fantastic. So if you're ever in the Seattle area and are hungry for Italian, definitely stop by La Dolce Vita!

Jennifer-By-The-Bay, Part Deux

Hi everyone. Hope that you've all had a great day. It's COLD here in Seattle today! Pretty, but cold. Veddddy windy. The wind picks up off the water and it's so chilly. I've not seen the torrential rains that everyone in the midwest seems to believe are so typical of Seattle. Watch, sure as I say that to you, the skies will open tomorrow and the rains will come.

Class went well today. We covered a LOT of ground. This is exactly the kind of stuff I was hoping we'd be covering. Lots of discussion about veterans' preference entitlements, to include some relatively new campaign medals and vet pref guidelines (i.e., the Korea Defense Service Medal). We also had some significant discussion about ICTAP. Those of you who are regular readers of my blog know allllllll to well why ICTAP's of interest to me. Something I didn't know was that the laws don't allow for the portability of ICTAP eligibilities. If you are involuntarily separated via a BRAC or a RIF (reduction-in-force), you're only able to claim ICTAP eligibility in the commuting area wherein you were separated. So that washes my previous concern that perhaps my ICTAP match came from out of town (we did learn later that she was indeed a local RIF'ee, but that momentary worry was there that she lost a job someplace else and then came here and stole from me my chances at "the perfect job.") It's going well and I am really glad I came. I am learning a lot and my instructor is great. He stuck around with me for a bit after class today to answer questions and to help me get a better handle on A-C-E examining versus category ranking. So good - I feel like I am coming along and like I'll be able to really do well when I get home. Time will tell.

Outside the classroom, we had a few interesting experiences today. Apparently, today was "National Coffee Break Day" (who knew?!) and our friends at Starbucks gave away free coffee this morning in celebration of this oh-so-amazing-and-meaningful holiday. At 10-till-10 this morning, my classmates and I trudged out into the freezing cold for coffee. Now, mind you, I am not a coffee fan. But hell, it was free and I am in Seattle. My coffee-addicted husband (and all of my friends back home) would never let me live it down if I didn't make at least a small effort to indluge myself in their beloved beverage on this special day-of-days. So I did. In the elevator on the way back up to class, my classmates and I met two very kind Commanders in the 13th Coast Guard District of the United States Coast Guard, who made us gleefully late to class after giving us a tour of their office, a look out their 38th story window at the Bay (yowza), and a quick once-over of what they do. Truthfully, the ladies I was with just went to ogle the cute guys (and I will admit, one of those Commanders was mighty attractive), but I just felt honored to get the experience and to say "I met two Commanders in the Coast Guard." Daddy will love this...he's such a military history buff. After lunch, a handful of Seattle's finest citizens decorated the front of the Federal Building with silent protest signs. Let's see, one said "Democracy Hypocrisy." Another said (in large letters) "IMPEACH!" Yet another said "FASCIST." Nice. I'll give them credit - at least they weren't the whack-job protest-happy mongrels you see on TV. But yikes. A classmate later told me she saw those folks holding up signs showing a nude George Bush and Dick Cheney covered only in fig leaves. I don't get it, but whatever. I wish I'd had the digital camera. Oh, and my "SMILE" friend was out in full force again today. Nice of him to risk life, limb, and frostbite for the betterment of Seattle's emotional stability.

Even though this is a good experience and I know I need to be here, I miss home something fierce. I miss my husband. I miss my baby girl. I miss my killer Boston Terrier. I miss my own bed and the way my home smells and feels. I'll be home Friday...just wish Friday'd come a little sooner.

I've not blogged much about "American Idol" lately. Here's my summary in brief of the last two weeks. The American public made a big mistake sending Gedeon home. That honor really should have gone to the talentless Bucky. Someone please help me understand what the world proper sees in this man. The loss of Ayla was a shock as well. Melissa really should have gone home instead, and her horrible performance last night just further illustrates my point. Of last night's performances, the stand-outs were my guy Taylor, Paris, Mandisa, and Katharine. Chris is fantastic, but I wish he'd not rocked out that song. It would have been nice to have seen a softer side of this guy. Lisa and Elliott are both amazing performers, but I don't think their performances were stand-outs last night. The worst performances were Bucky (gee, there's a shocker), Kevin (although I must admit that it's fun watching Chicken Little bust at Simon), Kellie (it's SO time for her to go), and Ace (who, while delicious, isn't showing us his true voice...he's got such a good voice, but where's he hiding it?) My pick to go home tonight? I want it to be Bucky, but it will probably be Kevin or Kellie.

It's Thai night at my hotel, so I'm off to dinner. Have a great night everyone!

Jennifer-By-The-Bay

Greetings from sunny, gorgeous Seattle! Hi everyone. Just have a few quick seconds (the hotel's got this strict "thirty minutes only" policy for their free PC), but I wanted to pop in and say hello and check in. I made it to Seattle safely, albeit along a VERY bumpy road, and my DEU training class is in full swing. I miss home.

Yesterday was QUITE the odyssey. Why Southwest can't book a thru flight from Kansas City to Seattle, I'll never know. I left Kansas City at 11:00 a.m. local time (which is 9:00 in the a.m. Seattle time). THREE FLIGHTS LATER, I arrived in Seattle just past 6:00 local time (which is, for those of you playing along at home, 8:00 Kansas City time). Kansas City to Los Angeles, Los Angeles to Sacremento, and Sacramento to Seattle. After an entire day in the air, I was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to get back to my hotel and SLEEP. Thanks to an adorable, hilarious, and gayer-than-a-box-of-fruit loops shuttle driver from Shuttle Express, I arrived safely at my hotel. (By the way, if you need shuttle transit in the Seattle area, DEFINITELY call Shuttle Express. They were fantastic.) All's well that ends well, I suppose. But my day most definitely did NOT get off to a good start. Although we are authorized to use commercial transit to get from our homes to the airport (when we go on official duty or, as we Feddy folks call it, "TDY"), I never do. I mean, NEVER. Firstly, I like being able to come and go as I wish. Many times, I come in to work early on the day that I leave (or I come in to the office after my flight lands). It's just easier to have my car there with me and I can come and go on about my merry day as I choose to. (Plus, I get paid for mileage and parking, which, of course, is nice.) When we lived in Overland Park, I called QuickSilver once and requested a ride to and from the airport. This was, oh, four years ago, give or take. The driver was horrible...he damned near killed us coming back. He was rude. It was just a bad experience. And then he had the audacity to HASSLE me when I didn't leave him a tip. So I called QuickSilver and, of course, complained. Fat lotta good it did me. Wouldn't you know that the SAME EXACT DRIVER came to pick me up yesterday. And he, again, drove recklessly. And, again, I didn't tip him. This time, however, the bastard took his "I'm-pissed-that-you-didn't-tip-me" schtick to a new level. HE FOLLOWED ME IN TO THE AIRPORT. Yes, friends, your minty girl was standing at the ticket counter at Southwest checking IN and the guy walked up to me, interrupted my conversation with the gate agent, and hassled me for a tip. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? When I told him I wouldn't give him one, he actually got an almost violent look on his face, snubbed his nose at me, and said (in an incredibly sarcastic tone) "You have a nice day, now." So that's my last experience with QuickSilver. In all honesty, I couldn't even tell you why I chose this time not to drive on my own. What I will say is this...if you live in the Kansas City area or are coming here and need transport to and/or from Kansas City International Airport, do not contact QuickSilver. Period. Your safety and personal comfort are obviously not important to them. As is evidenced by the fact that twice now, I've been shuttled unsafely and hassled for a tip after the ride. Unreal.

The class is going OK. Unfortunately, there are a ton of people in my class, and almost all of them came together. Pockets of people. Five from one agency, six from another. So here I am, the lone woman out. You know, it would really be nice if one of these little pockets of my colleagues would invite me to lunch or something. Nope. Instead, your favorite minty lady had lunch all by herself today...while a "pocket of personnelists" ate TWO TABLES AWAY! (Thanks for the invite to join you guys!) Oh well. It just makes me miss home more. And I do miss home. Something fierce.

I snapped a few quick photos on my camera phone (wish I'd brought the digital!) and I will try to get them uploaded when I get home. Two of the gorgeous Space Needle, one of the beautiful view of the Bay from my classroom, and one of a cooky, hilarious guy on the street flashing a sign at drivers-by that said "SMILE!"

Have a great night, all!

Jen

On The Road Again...

Hi everyone. Hope that you're having a great weekend. It's been a scary day for us. We've had three (count 'em, three!) tornado sirens go off today, and have spent much of the day in the basement (joy of all joys - thank God for televisions and computers). It looks like the bad weather has passed and we've actually decided to grill out tonight. Curt's outside getting some reportedly "very yummy pork chops" up and going. That'll be nice.

I leave tomorrow for yet another work-related trip. This time, it's off to the rainy coffee capital of the world, Seattle. I'm taking the DEU training that I've been bloviating about now for the past few weeks, and believe it or not, I am actually looking forward to it. (Yes, I know...you're surprised...hell, I'm surprised!) It'll be a good experience and I am looking forward to actually formally diving in to this new part of my professional field. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I travel tomorrow. I'll try to blog this week and keep you all posted on how I am doing.

Have a great rest-of-the-weekend, friends!

-Jen

Michael McDonald, Look Out!

Taylor Hicks, thy name is megastar.

I've loved Taylor ever since he waltzed into his Las Vegas audition for "American Idol". Tonight, he absolutely blew me away. The other men aren't even worthy of comment tonight. Taylor was just fantastic. Fantastic, fantastic, fantastic. The fact that he's not like anyone else sets him apart immediately. Is he conventionally attractive? Coordinated? No. But he's fabulous. His completely infectious smile and personality make him a true "American idol." He appeals to the masses. He absolutely loves what he's doing and it just freely resonates from him. And he's got the pipes to back it all up. So tonight, my blog post is alllll about the Soul Patrol's favorite brother, Taylor Hicks. He's got my vote, 900%.

In My Enchanted Garden...

Hi everyone.

It was a good day. I am actually s-l-o-w-l-y beginning to make a contribution in my new workplace. Of course, I'm not DEU certified yet, which makes it next to impossible to do much of anything. However, I did get to use the automated system, do some preliminary qualifications analyses, and basically got a good feel for what the rest of my HR career will look like (well, so long as I stay within this agency). Not bad. Not bad at all. More to come as I continue to learn. My DEU training is next week, and I am really looking forward to it.

In 1995, I ended a very bad romantic relationship. Everyone's got these "woe-is-me-love-done-me-wrong" stories, so I'll spare you the bloviated rhetoric. During the time immediately following my breakup, something miraculous happened to me. I found myself. I'd spent so many years working to please others...to win the favor and love of those around me (and tolerating an insurmountable amount of bullshit in the process) and here I was, a mid-twenties young woman with absolutely no sense of self. Self-esteem? Forget about it. I didn't even know who I was. God blessed me with the courage and the strength to abandon quite possibly the most heartless, selfish individual I've ever known, and although it wasn't easy, I survived. I did a lot of introspection in those days, and found myself (as I've done my whole life) using music as part of my healing and recovery. Right around that same time, a new artist, Kevin Kern, released his amazing debut album called "In The Enchanted Garden". I fell in love right away. It's all instrumental piano music...very soothing, very calming, and very comforting. It brought me peace and I listened to it over and over and over again. Throughout the years, I listened to that CD a time or two and always enjoyed it, and it always made me proud. I could feel in that music just how far I'd come. This past weekend, I re-discovered Kevin, and I am so, so thrilled. His new CD, "Imagination's Light", is simply fantastic. Today, I sent Kevin an EMAIL via his website, and I was doubly thrilled that he wrote back to me. Those messages appear below:

-----Original Message-----
From: MyLastName, JENNIFER [mailto:MyUserId@MyDomainName]
Sent: Tuesday, March 07, 2006 7:18 AM
To: kevin@kevinkern.com
Subject: Kevin Kern - Letter From A Fan

Hello Kevin,

My name is Jennifer MyLastNameDeleted and I live in Kansas. In 1996, I discovered your music while going through a terrible period in my life. I listened to "In The Enchanted Garden" over and over again, and it brought so much peace and comfort to me during a time in my life when I felt very empty and broken. Years later, I am so happy to have "re-discovered" you. I bought "Imagination's Light" last weekend and I love it. Thank you for the gift of your music and for the peace and the comfort it brings.

I sure hope that you come to the Kansas City area for a concert! I will be watching your website for more information on tour dates and upcoming events.

Best wishes to you!

Jennifer

From: Kevin [mailto:kevin@kevinkern.com]
Sent: Tuesday, March 07, 2006 11:21 AM
To: MyEMAILAddress
Subject: RE: Kevin Kern - Letter From A Fan


Dear Jennifer,

Thanks so much for taking the time to write to me. I always appreciate hearing from people who have been touched by my music.
If you haven't done so, please take a moment to join our mailing list so we can keep you up-to-date on future concert appearances. We're always looking for new opportunities and we hope to come to visit Kansas City in the future.

Thanks again for your support and encouragement.

Peace,

Kevin

*********************

Kevin Kern
P.O. Box 460850
San Francisco, CA 94146 USA
kevin@kevinkern.com
www.kevinkern.com

Very cool indeed. Please stop by Kevin's website and check out his music. When you're in the mood for some quiet calm or some peaceful time to yourself, there's really nothing quite like it.

"Idol" wasn't anywhere near as good tonight as I'd hoped it'd be. Katharine was the night's strongest performance, with Mandisa as a close second. Paris just chose the wrong song, but she and Mandisa are still tied as my favorite of the female contestants. Melissa has a unique voice and her song choice was excellent, but I just don't think she's got what it'll take to stand up against these other amazing young women. Lisa's fantastic, but I hated her song. Ayla...wow. Go girl. Kinnik chose the perfect song, but I don't think her performance was as strong as it could have been. What can I say about Kellie? I fail to see why the entire world thinks she's so adorable. Cute? Yes. Not fabulous. She's got a good stage presence and an OK voice, but yikes, the "country bumpkin" routine is beginning to grate on my nerves. I realize that she's come from meager beginnings, but good gracious. Unfortunately, I am afraid that her "dumb hick" vibe will sail her right on through. My picks to leave this week? Melissa and Kinnik (although it should be Kellie, but somehow I doubt that will happen). Curt's prediction tonight is that Katharine will take the entire competition and be the next "Idol." I don't know. She's definitely got an amazing voice.

I've got an early day tomorrow, so I'm off. Be well and have a great Wednesday, everyone.

How Do You Define A Life?

Hi everyone.

Today, I got to thinking about the heart. My heart, specifically. No, not clinical heart-related stuff (my blood pressure was fine when last checked, and I feel generally OK). I'm talking about the sentimentality...the parts of your heart that you give, that you share, that you hold for yourself, and that are "out there" floating amongst the world proper. Not long ago, I read a poll on a BBS I occasionally frequent about "what defines you"...how do you characterize yourself? By your family roles? Your job? Your socioeconomic status? I didn't participate in that poll, but if I'd done so, I imagine my response would have centered around my loves. Who and what I love (and have loved) and how each has influenced who I am.

First and foremost, my absolute love is my family. For every hardship we experienced, we came through stronger and smarter. I didn't have a perfect childhood, but I know and believe with all my heart that my parents did everything they could to ensure that I was healthy and happy and that I had a good life and upbringing. It's so hard to be away from them geographically, and I am so thankful that we live in a day and age where technology makes the physical miles between loved ones much easier to bear. Daddy will always be the first man I ever loved...the smartest (and funniest) guy on the face of the planet...the man I most want to be impressed with and proud of me. Mom was always there for everything. Every play, every concert, every school event. She inspired a love of learning in me, taught me to believe in myself, and loved me unconditionally even when I felt (and still sometimes do feel) unworthy of love. My husband and daughter are the biggest surprises that God has ever given to me. While I absolutely held the common dream of all young girls...to fall in love with "that perfect guy" and have a wonderful life, I certainly never thought I'd ever find that joy. I truly believed in the "there's one person for everyone" mentality, but as I got older, I began to believe with my whole heart that I was the exception to that rule. And it hurt something fierce. When Curtis came in to my life, I certainly wasn't expecting to fall in love...or to find the man with whom I'd share my life for the rest of my days. God led me on an amazing journey that brought me, heartbreaks and all, right to where I was supposed to be - in Curt's arms. The addition of our beautiful daughter was doubly unexpected. I was so sure that I'd never be able to have children (because of my ovarian problems), but God blessed us with the surprise of a lifetime when we learned Erin was alive and growing inside me. The day she was born was the scariest (and later, most beautiful) day of my life. I can still see her little pink face, so tight and squished up. Her tiny, premature little body was so frail...so precious and fragile. Today, she's the most vivacious and alive 4-year-old little person I've ever known. Why God chose to bless me with these amazing people, I will never know. But I am so thrilled that they each hold pieces of my heart...pieces I never want returned to me. I can only hope that I can make them proud and live a life that makes me worthy of them.

So many friends have come in and out of my life throughout the years. I went to a baby shower over the weekend (one of my sorority sisters...she's due at month's end) and I was so envious of her long-time friends. I wish I had some friends that I could say I've had lifelong relationships with. Circumstances largely outside my sphere of control have made it so that, unfortunately, I'm not "super super close" to any one particular grouping of people. I do have, however, lots of good friends near and far, and for them I am so, so thankful. My local girlfriends, my sorority alumnae sisters here in Kansas City, the sisters I was close to in my collegiate sorority chapter, all of my friends from high school and college...they all resonate inside me and I hope that I have been made better and smarter for having known them.

There are several people who hold pieces of my heart that I think of so, so often...people I haven't seen or talked to in years...people whose presence in my life brought me tremendous joy and comfort when it was dearly needed. I miss these people every day, and I think about how wonderful it would be were they to just call me...just to know that they are alive and well and happy...and to ensure that they know that they were and are dearly loved. Although I don't generally mention my personal friends by name, I will in this case. It's important. Scott and Doug, I miss being your "sister" tremendously. Scott, you made me laugh like nobody's business ("Hi! I'm a certified asshole!"). We had an amazing time, and I loved being your "female alter ego." I wish I'd been better at banking the memories so that they'd be easier to recall, but time and age take their toll on memory, unfortunately, and what seems like such a short time ago really has been a long while and I can't see your face as easily now as I once could. Thank you for everything - for spades at the Mezz in Cromwell and for the funny little "David" guy on your PC and for NetCon and for PinkCaddie and for "The Hoss Family" and for steak diane and for dreamscaping and for letting down your very tall emotional walls to let me inside. Thank you for Nancy (I still miss her) and for Aftab and Neil ("let me tell you ONE THINNNNG!") and for standing up for me and for loving me and for being there to protect me whenever I needed a big brother. You are a fantastic person and I hope that you are happy today. Doug, I just miss you. In a very short period of time, I learned so much from you. I learned how to be strong under unfathomably difficult circumstances. I learned how to find incredible humor in the very small things. I learned that sometimes, ignorance and fear, even silent ignorance and fear, can be horribly hurtful. Thank you for huge hugs and "Olive Garden talks" and for handstands in cars and The Abbey and for being there when I was being horribly abused and for being my strength on what was probably the worst night of my life and for helping me to break down my own personal ignorances and for letting me be there for you when you took that hugely courageous step. I only wish that you saw in yourself the beauty I saw in you. I also wish that you'd call me. Curtis has heard story after story about you, and I can just see you and Erin being totally goofy and hilarious together. Attempts to find you on YAHOO! and Google haven't been successful, which frightens me. I hope that wherever you are, you are safe and happy. You deserve that. David, there are three things that I think of each and every day of my life. You are one of them. Not a day goes by when I don't think of you and wish you joy and health and happiness. There's so much to say to you, but that's best left in private, at least for now. What needed to be said, at least for now, was said last March. I got that to you in the only way that I could, and I hope that you and your heart received the message. I hope that time and circumstance will lead us to be friends again. Either way, the piece of my heart that I gave to you remains yours. I hope that you will keep it forever.

This past weekend, my sorority celebrated 154 years in existence. Our celebration was wonderful, and I felt so close to these women. Something most people don't associate with sororities is the "forever factor." Wherever you go, there's a sister. I am not from this area originally, but these women, my sisters from Kansas and Missouri chapters of the same Greek organization, accepted and welcomed and loved me as if I'd come from their chapters too. They entrusted me with their alumnae chapter and believed in and supported me as I led them for three years. I cried during the Ritual Founders' Day service on Saturday, and I cried when one of my vice-presidents broke down as she discussed how she appreciated me (and as she gave me a gorgeous photo frame and beautiful necklace). I was hugged and kissed by many older alumnae and thanked for the contributions I'd made to this chapter. It was a wonderful experience. To hear them say that I'd done a good job...that I'd done right by them...it just made my heart so happy. I felt that the trust they'd placed in me had been proper, and that I'd done them proud. My membership in this organization has been amazing. I've learned so much about the world and about other people by being a part of this very old and very far-reaching sorority. To the women in my alumnae chapter here, thank you so much for your trust and love. And for being my first friends in the KC area and for warm dinners when I was a new mom and for the courage to try new things and step outside my comfort zone. To one sister in particular, who was initiated into our organization when my father was just a small child...thank you for being an unending source of support and for the beautiful sapphire badge and for amazingly yummy bread and for being the kind of sister I want to be. To the women of my collegiate chapter back home, especially Jennifer and Amy, I miss you so much. Thanks for loving me, girls.

Here's a shot of the very thoughtful gift from my vice-president:



I'll close with a special thank you to my beautiful Secret Pal. Thank you for the gorgeous card and the beautiful jewelry and stitch markers!



Have a wonderful night, everyone.

Too Much To Do! AAAACK!

OK, this is just a quick "HEY GUYS!" post to check in and say hello ("Hello!") Our sorority celebrates Founders' Day tomorrow, and I am just putting some last-second touches on things to make sure our event tomorrow goes smoothly. We are really excited and we've planned a really special event. My Vice-President did all of the work, and she's just amazing. I'll fill you all in on it tomorrow. :)

(Oh, and today's fun DEU factoid...if a 30% (or more) compensably disabled veteran is on a cert and management doesn't believe he or she should be, OPM retains exclusive authority to permit the eligible passover. It's actually called a "passover request." Huh, who knew?! And here I thought that if you had a preference eligible on a DEU or an OPM cert, you were stuck! Heh! Ya learn something new every day!)

Back to my Founders' Day preparations!

How Fast Can Jen Run?

Hi guys. Just time for a quick post. I've got a chocolate cake in the oven for a colleague's birthday tomorrow and "Idol" is DVR'ing!

It was a good day today. :) Lots of reading and researching! I am learning a lot, and that's good. And the people I am working with seem very nice and we laugh a lot, so that's good. You guys were right. Be positive, give it a shot, and be open to the experience. And so I am opened.

(And I've also got another fun and exciting delegated examining trivia fact for you! Did you know that the Luevano Consent Decree sets no time limit after graduation for Outstanding Scholars? It also allows for an individual to receive an unlimited number of Outstanding Scholar appointments in his or her lifetime! Who knew?!)

There's not really much else new to share with all of you. After the hulla-ba-loo of the last several days, it's actually nice just to have it peaceful and quiet. It appears that a strike has been avoided at NameOfCompanyWhereCurtWorksDeleted and he won't have to go out of town after all. We are both so, so happy about that. Erin's happy and well, and enjoying school. She and her classmates have "jobs" at school, and they are so, so important to them. For example, feeding the class fish. Or being the line leader. Or getting and serving the milk. Or (here's one I don't get) being the blue bag holder at recess. (Um, ok! Is it Prada? Louis Vuitton?) The little ones all rotate jobs and share the work, and there aren't enough jobs for each kiddo to have one every day. The first day Erin didn't have a job, ohmygoodness she was unhappy. She cried! Now she chalks those up as "days off" (i.e., "I had the day off Momma!") Lucky you. I wish MOMMA had the day off, too! :)

"Idol" was disappointing last night. As you know, my heart is SO wrapped around Taylor Hicks (and check out my Bo Bice there last night representin' his Alabama brother Taylor, yo!) (nothing is more urban and hip than a fat, white, mid-30s woman saying "representin'" and "yo"...but I digress!) What a snooze fest. Although it absolutely kills me to say this to you, Taylor's performance was just lackluster. I'd much rather see him do something up-tempo and peppy...getting people up to dance and really enjoy themselves. It was just a bad song choice and Taylor worked too, too hard at being stellar that his amazingly wonderful side was overshadowed. God, it hurt to type that. Chris was just amazing. He's hard not to root for. Elliott and Gedeon were great as well. You know how I feel about Bucky (so many words rhyme with his name...yucky...sucky...fu....don't go there, Jen). God bless little Kevin (Chicken Little). Will was good, David was much improved over last week, and Ace is just delicious (but his performance was just awful). Sway was, eh, OK. Taylor is still my favorite in my heart. He's amazing, he's full of joy and charisma, and it's impossible to watch him and NOT feel good. I can't tell you how many times I've watched and watched again his initial audition, his harmonica walk, and his "Leavon" performance. I smile from ear-to-ear every time. He's just a class act through and through. My picks for vote-off tonight are Kevin and Sway. Although Ace or David could go, too. Oh, and someone please tell Gedeon to sing some deeeeeep SOUL. I heard Jeffrey Osborne's "Baby Stay With Me Tonight" on XMRadio on the drive in to work this morning and I thought, DAMN Gedeon could do this so well. Of course, that song's waaay too adult for the family "Idol" broadcast, but still. Someone give this boy a Jeffrey (or a Johnny Gill) CD! Please!

I'm off to check on the cake and watch "Idol." Have a great night, everyone. Oh, in closing, please keep Gil Rumsey and his family in your prayers. A horrible fire destroyed their gallery in the classic oldtowne part of Overland Park yesterday afternoon, and it's my understanding that firefighters were still working on the blaze as late as rush-hour this morning. A young sorority sister of mine is Gil's niece and she told me today that their entire family is just crushed. So, so sad. The gallery was close to the Yarn Shop and More and I called there today to make sure that they were all OK. They are, but the store has suffered some smoke damage. So, so sad, and lots of prayers are undoubtedly needed. Thankfully, no one was hurt, but still.

OK - my timer's beepin'. Cake's done!

Wow!

Hi everyone! :)

(Check it out...it's a smiley! In my blog! Yes, friends, your favorite minty chicka is actually SMILING! I mean, yes, I know you're used to her being happy and silly and bloviating for hours upon end about this-and-that-and-whatever, but these last few days have been kinda, well, ick. And I've been rather ick here in BlogVille(tm), too. I think the ick factor is diminishing. Really, I do!)

OK, so today was my first day down in the DEU. And it went well! Of course, I'm not certified yet, but I did do a LOT of reading and research and questioning, which is good. It's good to learn new things and to take risks. Someone said to me a few days ago that life is to be lived...and that life's going to go on regardless, so you might as well at least be an active participant. Well, he was right. So I am an active participant in my new assignment and it's paying off, or at least it's beginning on a good note, which is good. Thank you again guys...for loving me and supporting me. My family, my friends (I love you D(2)), and my awesome BlogBuddies(tm)...wow. You guys are just awesome. Thank you.

(Oh, and here's a fun and exciting DEU fact that I didn't know! Did you know that if you're an NS3 on a DEU cert and you later come up on another DEU cert for the same type of job with the same type of appointment and working conditions, you can be an NS3 for that job, too?! Who knew?! I bounced up to my old office and told my boss this like it was some sort of newly uncovered fossil from the ancient past, and she just laughed. "Yes, Jen, I knew that. But I am so happy that you had such a good first day!" And yes, I know this makes nooooo sense whatsoever to those of you outside the Federal HR world. But hot dammit, I learned it today and I'm happy!) :)

OK...let's talk about "American Idol" and the snore-fest of an episode last night. (*yawwwwwwwwwwwn*) Basically, my opinions haven't changed. Paris and Mandisa are my favorites for the ladies hands down. Although Lisa is a very close third. Katharine's got an amazing voice, but I don't think she did as well last night. Hell, none of them really did. I hope my guy Taylor and the boys are more alive and entertaining tonight than our ladies were last night. AND NO MORE COUNTRY SONGS, dammit. My picks for Thursday's female vote-off are Brenna (please God, let it be Brenna) and Heather, although I wouldn't be sad or surprised to see Melissa go, either.

I am off. Have a great night, everyone! :)