"Betta Not Bring Yo' Kidz!"

God, I love Dave Chappelle...


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Welcome To The World, Little Aiden

Congratulations to my Bo Bice and his lovely Caroline on the birth of their blessed Aiden! What a blessing and a gift! May God bless your beautiful little family with many years of love, health, laughter, and joy.

(More information on the blessed event is available here and here and here.)

"A Selfish Bitch With A Jacked Up Sense Of Entitlement...?"

Hi everyone. I've got good news. "Stomach Flu Central" has dissipated. Gone. History, like yesterday's lunch menu. And not a damned day too SOON, let me add. Both Curtis and I returned to work today and actually felt like humans. We ate, we drank, we laughed, we lived...what we DIDN'T do was vomit. Thank GOD. To those of you who sent well-wishes and prayers our way, they were both received and appreciated. Many a merci beaucoup is owed to you. Thank you endlessly, endlessly, endlessly.

It was an interesting first day back at the office. Of course, having been gone since the middle of last week left me with many an EMAIL to return (Why is it that I am HAMMERED with EMAIL when I am on leave? HELLO?? Can't you people function in my absence???) and many a story to catch up on from the supervisory and co-worker units. It was good to be back. I love working with those ladies, and it's rare these days that all four of us are actually in the office at the same time. Work-wise, I suppose things are basically OK. Busy, but that's good. I am behind (as in W-A-A-A-A-A-A-Y behind) in studying for my PHR examination, and I'm really beginning to curse myself for not beginning my studies earlier. (Of course, here I sit blogging when I should be studying...am I a genius or what?). As you know, I've really not been as proactive about this find-another-job-the-BRACman-cometh thing as I probably should have been, but I'm beginning to think that the agency is forcing my hand and that I've now got no choice but to become that way. Some recent discoveries and events (both of which are outside our spheres of control) are coming to light, and I am slowly losing that strong, faithful desire to "stick it out until the end" and remain loyal to this agency. The true loyalties they have to me - to employ, pay, and treat me fairly - they fulfill. But in the BRAC environment, they really and truly have no choice but to look toward their tomorrow in their new, BRAC-Commission-mandated environment. And, unfortunately, the human casualties along the way are just, well, unfortunate. It's time. Time to find a new place to call my own and a new niche to carve out for myself. I need to really vamp up my job hunt. Please, someone, find me a perfect GS-12-slide-14 position with lots of public interaction, next-to-no micromanagement, and the freedom to be as creative and expressive as I want to be! An unlimited budget and access to whatever resources I desire would be a bonus, as would my management's proclivity toward issuing numerous cash awards and a very limited requirement for TDY. I guess my challenge to you should be to find and NOT APPLY FOR that job yourselves. Heh! Oh well. God will lead me to where I am supposed to be. I just hope that He does so sooner than later. MUCH sooner.

(Remind me that I said this the next time I am boo-hooing about "oh-my-God-I-can't-believe-we're-closing" and all that nonsense and hoo-hah. Feel free to cut-and-paste my very words and throw them right back in my chubby-but-cute face.)

And continuing on this fun-filled, uplifting conversation (aren't you just ripe-n'-thrilled that you logged on and read my blog today???), I've got some bones to pick with a few folks, and have purposely kept my mouth shut about them...well, at least here in BlogVille(tm), anyway. My loved ones have heard the tales and, by and large, agree with me, which makes me feel somewhat less petty and foolish about how I've been feeling. Foolish or not, petty or not, this is my blog and dammit, I'm gonna spill the beans. These things have been bugging me for too long and I just want to spit them out. Talking about them orally has helped, but it's not quelled the anger/disappointment. Maybe blogging them out will? Maybe not. Here goes nothin' anyway...

1. If you are invited to a party...ANY party...the onus is on you to send a response. PERIOD. When did we become such an inconsiderate society? To be invited to a party is a gift. Someone likes you. Someone wants you around. Someone thinks you're pretty cool. I mean, do most folks by and large invite people in to their homes who they deem uncool? Thieves? Felons? Bastards? Not anyone I know. (Your mileage, I suppose, may vary. If so, poor you.) Anyway, it seems to be the consensus of many a person I know that a simple telephone call or EMAIL message in response to a party invitation is simply too much to ask. That pisses me off to NO END. It's inconsiderate, it's rude, it's thoughtless, and it's wrong. I've discussed this with you all before, my dear readers, back in an earlier post about in-home sales parties (i.e., Longaberger, Southern Living At Home, Pampered Chef, etc. ad nauseum). This time, my thoughts turn more personal. If you or your relative are invited to come and celebrate a birthday in someone's home, you really should have the respect for the hostess, the celebrated guest, and their family to afford them a courtesy of a response. When finalizing plans for Erin's birthday party last weekend, we were a-buzz at the last second, making calls and inquiries to invited guests in an effort to firm up a guest list. See, that's how parties work sometimes...caterers need definitive numbers. I, quite frankly, was busy and had many an other task to accomplish during my leave from work last week. I didn't expect or appreciate having to follow-up about, wait for, and wonder regarding our final guest list. In all honesty, that wasn't my responsibility, and I didn't appreciate it. Certain parties about whom I am speaking are repeat offenders when it comes to this sort of thing, and it pisses me off to no end. There. Done. Said. Deal with it. Rant #1, over. (Well, I'm certain it's not OVER...this will probably happen again and again because certain people are rude, rude, rude...but dammit, I had to say it.)

2. It is exceptionally rude when you are a part of an item-swap or a "Random Act Of Kindness" grouping and you fail to thank your gift-givers when they take the time and spend the money and energy to find a nice gift or two for you. Truly, people, is it that difficult to send a quick "Thanks Jen!" EMAIL message? I mean, if it is, please do all of us a favor and drop out of the group. The entire spirit and intent of these groups is to foster a feeling of kindness and goodness toward others. Do we do things for the "thanks" messages? No. But it's inconceivably and unspeakably rude not to take time out of your "so busy life" to thank those who do good things for you, especially given the fact that many, many in the world spend their entire lifetimes never doing good for others (or, for that matter, being treated kindly BY others). There. Done. Rant #2 finished.

3. Do not plan a party and openly discuss the party with persons you do not wish to invite. Period. It's rude, rude, rude, and more rude. This very recently happened to me, and I am still exceptionally bitter about it. Here's the story in sum. Someone that I know is due to have a baby later this year. When mention was made of a shower to me on not-one-but-TWO-occasions by the hostess, the implications were made as well that an invitation was coming my way. Although no one asked me to do this (note...I am admitting to some responsibility here), I freely chose to stop working on two crochet shawls that **name deleted to protect the surprise of the shawls** asked me to work on so that I could instead crochet a pretty blanket for the blessed newborn. No invitation came, and the shower date passed without my involvement, my participation, or my blanket (which I'll likely finish and send on to Project Linus or some other worthy charity...but that's another story for another day). That was, oh goodness, several weeks ago, but the entire situation popped up again a few days ago when RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE IN MY OWN HOME the topic of this person's shower came up. In my own fucking home! Can you believe it? I kept my mouth shut then and kept my mouth shut in the weeks that followed the shower when I had many an opportunity to say "Ya know, thanks for the invite to **name deleted**'s shower." And to preserve harmony and because I still truly don't know who reads this blog, I will not say anything to that person about it ever. But dammit, that really pissed me off. I mean, REALLY pissed me off. Something that makes the wound sting even more bitterly is that this hostess, on numerous occasions, has complained to me about not having been invited to events hosted by other mutual friends. You know, you'd think once you felt the sting personally, you'd be a little more inclined to be a bit more sensitive. Apparently not. Rant #3, done.

At the office today, we were discussing throwing a party for a mutual office friend who is getting married, and my boss said something to the effect of (when we were discussing not inviting someone) "it hurts if you think you should be invited to a party but aren't." True - she's right. Then I read some quip at a new website I discovered alluding to the writer being a "selfish bitch with a jacked up sense of entitlement." I wondered to myself, is this me? Am I nuts for feeling the way that I feel here? None of the people I've discussed these things with seem to think so, yet they all still bug and eat at me like ants at a picnic. Believe it or not, typing them out actually does make me feel better. Until the sudden and violent onslaught of bitchy and mean comments come in response. Ya know what...bring 'em on. This is my blog and these are my feelings and I've got the right to express 'em. So there. Yeah, there!

OK, a bit of good news to close out the post. At lunch today, I read something online that just made me smile. Read and enjoy for yourselves.

Have a wonderful night, folks. I've got more reading about external environments and strategic planning in my PHR book to do!

Jennifer

Stomach Flu Central, Day #2

You Have A Type B Personality

B You're as laid back as they come... Your baseline mood is calm and level headed Creativity and philosophy tend to be your forte Like a natural sedative, you have a soothing effect on people Friends and family often turn to you first with their problems You have the personality to be a spiritual or psychological guru

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

OK, so here we are on Day #2 at Stomach Flu Central. I actually felt pretty dog-goned good this a.m. when I woke up. Curt's better too, thank God. We're still not "100%" yet, but something tells me that it will be a few days before we're both back at the tops of our respective games. Erin's got her four-year checkup this afternoon (God, is she really four? The years have gone by so, so fast), and so I've just got a second to stop in, say hello, and catch everyone up. Mom and Dad left to go back to Indianapolis today. Sad to see them go. I am going TDY (that's Government-talk for "temporary duty") to Indy next month. It will be nice to see them again.

Off to give Erin a bath and then take her off to the doctor. Will try to post more later!

Greetings From STOMACH FLU CENTRAL!

Hi everyone. Well, it's been quite an interesting last few days. Mostly good, I should say. Mom and Dad are here from Indianapolis, and they came to celebrate little Erin's fourth birthday. We had a wonderful time...dinner with Curt's parents and an evening at a fun festival up in St. Joseph, and then, of course little Erin's PARTY yesterday (which was precious and fun and adorable). Unfortunately, though I took sick about 9:00-ish last night, and am still fighting the Stomach Flu from hell. Actually, I can't tell you for certain if it's the Stomach Flu or Food Poisoning. Erin's party and cake were catered yesterday, and we all ate the same thing. That was at 12 noon. Flash forward to, oh, 6:30 or so last night, and Mom and Dad sprang for pizza for us and for Curt's family. Curtis and I were the only two who ate this one certain type of pizza. Everyone else had a different kind. Well, everyone else is just fine and after my fun-filled evening of misery, my poor husband came down with the exact same stomach bug today. So is it food poisoning or just an oddly timed tummy bug? Who knows? I spent the better part of the day today in the ER at Olathe Medical Center being treated. I wish I could get Curtis to go. He won't go (he's not much of a hospital sort). After two IVs and some medicine to break my fever, they released me and sent me home. I am actually able to keep down some ice chips and even (woo hoo!) an orange popsicle. If you would, friends, please keep Curtis and I in your thoughts these next few days. Seeing him so sick like this just breaks my heart. I'll keep at him to go to the ER. But your prayers are sure needed and appreciated.

Mom and Dad leave tomorrow to go back home. I'll hate seeing them go. Was sure wonderful having them here.

I'm off to take some more meds and check on my ailing hubby. Take care, friends.

I'm FEELIN' The LOVE, Baby!

Hi everyone!

I just have a quick second, but there are two very, very important things I need to get posted here in BlogVille(tm):

A. First and very definitely foremost, thank you SO MUCH to the lovely Diane for the beautiful homemade stitch markers! My digital camera is not being cooperative, but I will post a photo here when (if?) it becomes so! I've always relied on safety pins and those little plastic stitch marker jobbies, so having some homemade pretty ones is a definite change for the better. These are so pretty. Thanks, Diane! :)

B. I have signed up for a Secret Pal exchange on top of my ROAK. I guess you could say I'm all about spreadin' the love! :) Here are the questions they've asked all of the Secret Pals to answer:

1. Are you a yarn snob (do you prefer higher quality and/or natural fibers)? Do you avoid Red Heart and Lion Brand? Or is it all the same to you?
I have a strange answer to this question. I am trying to become a yarn snob, but I am not doing such a good job at it! Does that make sense? I am a crocheter and not a knitter, and almost all of the crochet patterns I've got (and that I find online) all call for the generics (Red Heart, TLC, etc.) I've been to several local yarn shops and absolutely love to touch and play with the pretty, higher end yarns, but I guess I am just not "in" to them. Maybe because I am still learning and I don't want to spend beaucoup dollars on a yarn that I can't do justice to. Does that make sense? I will say that I'm falling in love with Lorna's Laces and Buttons by Naturally and Jelli Beenz by Plymouth, but are they considered higher-end yarns? OK, I am not really answering this question. :) Here's the answer - no, I'm not. But I wouldn't mind being introduced to what life as a yarn snob would be like. :)

2. Do you spin? Crochet?
I am a crochet addict! Not much of a knitter...it's too complicated!! Of course, I said the same thing about crochet, and I kept at it and at it until I figured it out. I need to do the same with knitting. I just can't figure out how to move (and where to PUT) my hands! And no, I'm not a spinner.

3. Do you have any allergies? (smoke, pets, fibers, perfume, etc.)
Not really. I am not a smoker and don't really like the smell of it. I have seasonal allergies, but thanks to a wonderful otolaryngologist and drugs, I am basically symptom-free. :)

4. How long have you been knitting crocheting?
I've been crocheting for, oh, three years now, give or take. Knitting, well, I just took my first class earlier this summer and every so often, I try to do it. Not much luck on that end.

5. Do you have an Amazon or other online wish list?
Yes. See here.

6. What's your favorite scent? (for candles, bath products etc.)
Spearmint, vanilla, blueberry, wines, cinnamon, eucalyptus, forest, and other nature-esque smells (rain, ocean, etc.) I am in love with the Mandarin Cranberry, Spearmint, Vanilla Cookie, and Home Sweet Home fragrances from Yankee Candle and the Fine Merlot, Fine White Zinfandel, vanilla+mintleaf, and Winter Woods fragrances from Colonial At Home.

7. Do you have a sweet tooth?
Yes! I love anything milk chocolate, especially if it's got mint or caramel with it. Not much of a dark chocolate fan, and I don't like honey, so I always double-check anything with caramel in it to make sure there's no honey inside.

8. What other crafts or Do-It-Yourself things do you like to do?
I'm a cardmaker. I am addicted to Stampin' Up products and love to make homemade cards.

9. What kind of music do you like? Can your computer/stereo play MP3s? (if your buddy wants to make you a CD)
I love all kinds of music. My favories include lighter sounds...things you'd expect to hear on an audio vision channel or an adult contemporary channel. Josh Groban, Secret Garden, Olivia Newton-John, Kenny G., Sade, David Sanborn, kd lang, Barbra Streisand...etc. I love to sing, and so I try to surround myself with the music of amazing female vocalists. Singing their music makes my voice stronger, and forces me to learn a new way of performing. I have an addiction to Bo Bice from "American Idol" and I think his voice is just amazing. Other vocalists/groups that I love include Daryl Hall, Rod Stewart, Don Henley, Peabo Bryson, Cake, Scorpions, Gorky Park, Jet, and the list goes on and on. Basically, if it's music, I'll probably love it (unless it's gangsta-let's-kill-everyone-rap. And yes, my PC and car stereo can both play MP3s.

10. What's your favorite color? Or--do you have a color family/season/palette you prefer? Any colors you just can't stand?
My favorite colors are greens, pinks, blues, creams, and black. I don't crochet well with dark shades (dark navy, black, etc.) because I have a really hard time finding the stitches. Any advice on how best I can fix that problem would be greatly appreciated. :) I basically like all colors. I'm easy to please.

11. What is your family situation? Do you have any pets?
Married, mom of a little one (she'll be 4 this weekend), and owner of Maggy, the world's most adorable Boston Terrier.

12. What are your life dreams? (really stretching it here, I know)
To see my daughter grow up healthy and happy and having a good life. To continue my involvement with my sorority and to become a national officer. To lose a boatload of weight and feel comfortable in my own skin more often than not. To really have the courage to stand up and sing in public on a more recurrent basis than the occasional karaoke experience. To become an "expert" crocheter.

13. What is/are your favorite yarn/s to knit crochet with?
I don't think I really have a favorite, per se.

14. What fibers do you absolutely *not* like?
Anything scratchy against the skin. I also hate yarns that split mid-stitch.

15. What is/are your current knitting crocheting obsession/s?
I am working on an afghan for "a very special friend" right now. Once that's done, I imagine I'll take a crack at the beautiful star afghan making its way around the crochet boards.

16. What is/are your favorite item/s to knit crochet?
Scarves, mittens, blankets...anything gift-able.

17. What are you knitting crocheting right now?
In my WIP folder: my "afghan for a very special friend," followed by a sweater for my little girl and a hat/scarf combo for myself and finally, weaving in the ends on a shawl I made for a mystery person. :)

18. What do you think about ponchos?
I love them!

19. Do you prefer straight or circular needles?
In my very limited knitting experience, I've only ever used straight needles, but I've heard that circulars are easier. Is that true?

20. Bamboo, aluminum, plastic?
Knitting needles? Oh goodness, bamboo all the way. Crochet hooks? Aluminum.

21. Are you a sock knitter?
Nope. Nor a sock crocheter, although I was given a great sock pattern by the wonderful Noreen! I will work on socks for Christmas gifts, I imagine.

22. How did you learn to knit?
It was largely self-taught, via using books I'd checked out of the library and websites. I did take a class earlier this summer, which was helpful.

23. How old is your oldest UFO?
Oh wow - I've got a blanket I've had unfinished since, wow, March of 2004? It's one of those patterns that looks much quicker than it actually is, and yikes, I've lost all the patience and desire I ever had to work on it!

24. What is your favorite animated character or a favorite animal/bird?
I am a huge fan of "South Park" on Comedy Central. Yes, I know, I'm going to hell.

25. What is your favorite holiday?
Christmas.

26. Is there anything that you collect?
Longaberger baskets and pottery are my biggest collection addiction. I've been trying to assemble their entire pottery collection since before I was married, and every year, I get a bit more of it. Expensive collection! :(

27. What knitting crocheting magazine subscriptions do you have?
"Crochet" magazine.

28. Any books out there you are dying to get your hands on?
A ton! Check out my Amazon Wish List.

29. Any patterns you have been coveting, but haven't bought for one reason or another??
Not really.

That's all, folks! I am off! Mom and Dad are coming in from Indianapolis today to join in the celebration of Erin's fourth (!!!) birthday this weekend. Hope you're all having a great week. I'll try to check back in later!

Jen

A Somber Anniversary

It's so hard to believe that today is September 11, 2005. That four years ago, on a gorgeous, cool, sunny day, the world saw a terror like none other, and lives changed (and ended) forever. In my lifetime, I don't believe that there will ever be an event that has defined me as this one has. Not even my marriage or the birth of my daughter. I often find myself reviewing the events of my life (and the world proper) and annotating mentally if that event was before or after that horrible day. Not one day has elapsed in the past four years that I have not thought of September 11, 2001. Many days, I try to block it out of my mind as much as possible so that I don't cry. Other days, I ache, be it for this victim or that victim or a surviving family member or the country as a whole. Today, I am just sad in general. And I ask that everyone who reads this blog take a moment and say a prayer for the people whose lives ended and those whose lives changed forever on that fateful day.

Curtis and I watched a very moving program about the personal effects of the victims at the former World Trade Center site, and the movement both to protect and preserve these items and to return as many of them as possible to their surviving loved ones. The program was called "W.T.C. 9-11: Stories From The Ruins." I just cried. It was very, very powerful and very, very moving. I am not able to find much information on this program, but what I am finding seems to indicate that it is re-run again each year around this time on the Discovery Channel. Please see if you can find this program. It will hold your heart and your breath and will make you weep.

Other hankie-required tributes:

"Freedom Isn't Free" (Hat tip: Michelle Malkin)

"9-11 Remembered"

"New York, White House Mark 9-11 Anniversary"

Blog Sabbath (This site enables you to leave your own thoughts and comments about 9-11. My comment appears below.)

I was at work, knee-deep in briefing several colleagues on recruiting for interns in my upcoming absence. I was eight months pregnant, and had received a stern warning from my doctor not to travel, hence my briefing my co-workers and getting them ready for the road. Our boss walked in to our conference room and said that a plane had struck one of the towers of The World Trade Center. We work for an agency of the Department of Defense, and just one day prior, our Security Manager had sent a mass EMAIL regarding travel to the D.C. area in late September. Some sort of message had been received regarding a potential threat, and we were cautioned to be vigilant if travel plans had us going to the D.C. area later that month. When our boss told us that the first plane had hit, all I could think of was "Oh my God...we knew this was going to happen, but not in New York...and not today!" Not too long thereafter, she came back in to our conference room to tell us about the second plane. At that moment, I ran out into our little learning center, which was filled with Marines and other DoD civilians all glued to the tiny televisions we'd set up. Most were crying, and many were just plain in shock. One of our secretaries had planned to take me baby shopping later that day, and she just stood there in total shock. She said over and over, "I saw the plane fly into the second building." She just was in total shock. It wasn't long thereafter that the building was evacuated and we were all sent home. I'll never forget it...it was such a clear and gorgeous day in Kansas City, much like it was in New York. And here we were, so heartbroken and scared and sad, and it just didn't seem to fit. The beauty of nature, both externally and growing inside my womb contrasted with this deep and horrible terror and tragedy. When I got home, I was glued to the coverage on television, just as everyone else was. And the entire time, I felt tremendous guilt. What kind of monster would I be for bearing a child in a world where human beings (and I use that nomer exceptionally lightly) hurt and kill like this? And I thought over and over, "What am I going to tell my baby about this day? How will I explain this to her?" Seven days later, I delivered her via emergency C-section...early, and her life and mine were both temporarily in danger. But we are both, thank God, safe. She was my little miracle and my little piece of tomorrow that shows me that we're all going to be OK. We have a tremendous responsibility and opportunity as parents and citizens to educate our children about love and freedom. Hopefully the world my almost four-year-old daughter will have when she is my age will not be the same world we have today...instead, her world will be one of peace and understanding and respect for others. As a mother and an American, that is my hope for tomorrow. Perhaps that's the legacy the beautiful lost souls of 9-11 has left for us...the aspiration to teach our children to work and reach for a better world. If we work toward this, then those lost are honored better and more respectfully than any physical monument or structure that we could create.

Thank you for the chance to share this story.

And with that, I'll close. Before I go, I ask that all of you, dear friends, please do two things today. Take a brief moment of personal silence to remember those who perished on this day four years ago. Then, please take one very small step to ensure that memory of those lost will be forever digified and respectful.

God bless you all.

Love,
Jennifer

Just So, So Sad

Hi Everyone.

Well, it's 5:26 in the a.m. and here I am, wide awake. I'm jittery and I can't sleep. My mind continues to race and fret and spirit prays constantly for the people affected by Hurricane Katrina. Although I've intentionally refrained from blogging about this until now, it's been predominant in my thoughts and prayers all week. The media's bombarding us with continual feeds and images of what's going on down there, and nearly every time I see or hear about this, I just curl up inside myself. I guess a good comparison to the way I am feeling now is the way I felt after 9/11...powerless, horrified, unclear about the world or the "people" in it. I feel grossly selfish saying and feeling all of this, given that the only person I know in Louisiana is in Baton Rouge and is just fine, thank God. Why does something that isn't affecting me on a personal note causing me to hurt and turn inside so much? The disaster end of it all is bad enough, but nowhere near as bad as the way these people have turned on and are abusing one another. The callous disregard for life and the property of others for purely selfish means...God, I just can't fathom or stand it. Sometimes, I have a hard time seeing "the big picture." I get hung up on this or that detail, and it's hard for me to see the total impact of a situation or an event. Not this time. It's all clear to me, and all that resonates in my mind is that there is no hope...no chance that these people can ever return to "normal" lives and no chance that this once popular city will ever be again what it once was. I know in my head that's not true (FINALLY the government is sending in the necessary personnel to take back the city from those frighteningly disgusting creatures who have overtaken and destroyed what's left of it), but my heart just doesn't quite get the message. To hear the stories of those who have lost everything hurts enough, but dear God, the "human" behavioral end of it (and believe me, I use the word "human" exceptionally loosely here) just sickens me and makes me ache like I haven't ached in a long time. You know, we've spent so much time and money and energy and and have given so much of ourselves, both as a people and as a government, to protect ourselves from outside terrorists. But yet, we can't even protect ourselves from each other. And truthfully, that's the most disgusting thing in the world to me. I counter this with the amazing and beautiful relief efforts that are popping up all over (see here and here and here and here and here, for a few of many examples). On a personal note, three friends of our family are on their way from Indianapolis to New Orleans as we speak, supplies and gasoline in tow, in an effort to help and to relocate family from the tragedy to the safety of Indianapolis. Please, everyone, pray for Neil and DJ and Chris (yes, I know I said I'd never mention names in my blog, but this time, well, an obvious exception is warranted). To know these brave, selfless people and to see the efforts of those like them around the world just makes me so proud. It's the one thing (well, next to my family and friends and our health and safety) that makes me feel safe and "OK" right now. Undoubtedly I'll cry about this for a long, long time. And pray and worry. And probably have many other mornings where I awaken too soon and pray and worry, much like today. Please, my friends, keep all of the people and animals affected by this tragedy in your heart and prayers...them and the brave and courageous rescue workers who are trying to save lives, reunite families, and restore order.

(No more about this right now...I do NOT want to cry!)

What else can I tell you about?

Erin's birthday is right around the bend. I can't believe my little princess will be (*GASP*) FOUR YEARS OLD this month! Where has the time gone? I know every parent says/thinks this about his or her child, but Erin is just beautiful. She's so, so funny and loving and amazing and smart and, well, just wonderful. What a blessing she has been to me and to our family. None of us ever thought that a baby would come, thanks to my Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome that failed to respond both to medication and surgery. But God saw fit to bring this beautiful little angel into our lives, and what a joy she has been to all of us. She's spending the weekend with Curt's parents, which will be nice for Curtis and I...will give us a chance to get some housework done (and me, the chance to study for my PHR exam...this is KILLING me, people! Why did I think I could do this? And how did I survive college and graduate school??? *laugh*) Anyway, back to the birthday. We've had relatively big and involved birthday parties for her in the past two years. I think we'll do this one a little lower-key...just her close friends and our family (versus every kid of every friend and sorority sister!) Mom and Dad will be here from Indianapolis, which will be great. More on this to come. :)

The situation at work gets better and then it gets worse...just choose the day. This week, one of the very senior management officials who was responsible for the considerable grief we suffered actually apologized to us, which was quite fantastic. It meant a lot, actually (and I told her so). The mis- and lack of communication still abound, but for that one sweet moment in time, it made me feel like for ONCE, we were heard. The BRAC buzz is still all around us. Someone at one of the non-BRAC'd sites actually said to me (when I asked how she was doing during a phone call), "Probably much better than you guys are!" How exactly does one respond to that sort of sentiment? (*sigh*) Anyway, I'm beginning to look for another job again. When this nonsense first began, I was all about trying to find something new and "getting the hell out of Dodge." Then, I backed off a bit, thinking that I'd ride out the storm and wait for "that perfect job that reached out and grabbed me." Now I see that the time window between opportunity and "market flooded with displaced DoD employees looking for work" is getting smaller by the millisecond, so I'm back out on the job path. On Monday, I put in for a GS-12 Employee/Labor Relations position with a non-DoD Federal agency in downtown Kansas City. So we'll see. Cross your fingers for me.

I have a ton of new Stampin' Up cards to upload and share with all of you. Wish I'd brought the camera down here in the basement with me when I came down! Maybe tomorrow or later today. We'll see.

Well friends, it's now 6:08 in the a.m. and I'm off. Going to try to get some more rest and crawl back into bed without awakening both my spousal unit and our canine. :) Have a wonderful day, everyone. Much love to all of you who suffered through and actually READ this long, long, long blogpost. May warm chocolate chip cookies fall from the skies STRAIGHT to you!