A Somber Anniversary

It's so hard to believe that today is September 11, 2005. That four years ago, on a gorgeous, cool, sunny day, the world saw a terror like none other, and lives changed (and ended) forever. In my lifetime, I don't believe that there will ever be an event that has defined me as this one has. Not even my marriage or the birth of my daughter. I often find myself reviewing the events of my life (and the world proper) and annotating mentally if that event was before or after that horrible day. Not one day has elapsed in the past four years that I have not thought of September 11, 2001. Many days, I try to block it out of my mind as much as possible so that I don't cry. Other days, I ache, be it for this victim or that victim or a surviving family member or the country as a whole. Today, I am just sad in general. And I ask that everyone who reads this blog take a moment and say a prayer for the people whose lives ended and those whose lives changed forever on that fateful day.

Curtis and I watched a very moving program about the personal effects of the victims at the former World Trade Center site, and the movement both to protect and preserve these items and to return as many of them as possible to their surviving loved ones. The program was called "W.T.C. 9-11: Stories From The Ruins." I just cried. It was very, very powerful and very, very moving. I am not able to find much information on this program, but what I am finding seems to indicate that it is re-run again each year around this time on the Discovery Channel. Please see if you can find this program. It will hold your heart and your breath and will make you weep.

Other hankie-required tributes:

"Freedom Isn't Free" (Hat tip: Michelle Malkin)

"9-11 Remembered"

"New York, White House Mark 9-11 Anniversary"

Blog Sabbath (This site enables you to leave your own thoughts and comments about 9-11. My comment appears below.)

I was at work, knee-deep in briefing several colleagues on recruiting for interns in my upcoming absence. I was eight months pregnant, and had received a stern warning from my doctor not to travel, hence my briefing my co-workers and getting them ready for the road. Our boss walked in to our conference room and said that a plane had struck one of the towers of The World Trade Center. We work for an agency of the Department of Defense, and just one day prior, our Security Manager had sent a mass EMAIL regarding travel to the D.C. area in late September. Some sort of message had been received regarding a potential threat, and we were cautioned to be vigilant if travel plans had us going to the D.C. area later that month. When our boss told us that the first plane had hit, all I could think of was "Oh my God...we knew this was going to happen, but not in New York...and not today!" Not too long thereafter, she came back in to our conference room to tell us about the second plane. At that moment, I ran out into our little learning center, which was filled with Marines and other DoD civilians all glued to the tiny televisions we'd set up. Most were crying, and many were just plain in shock. One of our secretaries had planned to take me baby shopping later that day, and she just stood there in total shock. She said over and over, "I saw the plane fly into the second building." She just was in total shock. It wasn't long thereafter that the building was evacuated and we were all sent home. I'll never forget it...it was such a clear and gorgeous day in Kansas City, much like it was in New York. And here we were, so heartbroken and scared and sad, and it just didn't seem to fit. The beauty of nature, both externally and growing inside my womb contrasted with this deep and horrible terror and tragedy. When I got home, I was glued to the coverage on television, just as everyone else was. And the entire time, I felt tremendous guilt. What kind of monster would I be for bearing a child in a world where human beings (and I use that nomer exceptionally lightly) hurt and kill like this? And I thought over and over, "What am I going to tell my baby about this day? How will I explain this to her?" Seven days later, I delivered her via emergency C-section...early, and her life and mine were both temporarily in danger. But we are both, thank God, safe. She was my little miracle and my little piece of tomorrow that shows me that we're all going to be OK. We have a tremendous responsibility and opportunity as parents and citizens to educate our children about love and freedom. Hopefully the world my almost four-year-old daughter will have when she is my age will not be the same world we have today...instead, her world will be one of peace and understanding and respect for others. As a mother and an American, that is my hope for tomorrow. Perhaps that's the legacy the beautiful lost souls of 9-11 has left for us...the aspiration to teach our children to work and reach for a better world. If we work toward this, then those lost are honored better and more respectfully than any physical monument or structure that we could create.

Thank you for the chance to share this story.

And with that, I'll close. Before I go, I ask that all of you, dear friends, please do two things today. Take a brief moment of personal silence to remember those who perished on this day four years ago. Then, please take one very small step to ensure that memory of those lost will be forever digified and respectful.

God bless you all.

Love,
Jennifer