"A Selfish Bitch With A Jacked Up Sense Of Entitlement...?"

Hi everyone. I've got good news. "Stomach Flu Central" has dissipated. Gone. History, like yesterday's lunch menu. And not a damned day too SOON, let me add. Both Curtis and I returned to work today and actually felt like humans. We ate, we drank, we laughed, we lived...what we DIDN'T do was vomit. Thank GOD. To those of you who sent well-wishes and prayers our way, they were both received and appreciated. Many a merci beaucoup is owed to you. Thank you endlessly, endlessly, endlessly.

It was an interesting first day back at the office. Of course, having been gone since the middle of last week left me with many an EMAIL to return (Why is it that I am HAMMERED with EMAIL when I am on leave? HELLO?? Can't you people function in my absence???) and many a story to catch up on from the supervisory and co-worker units. It was good to be back. I love working with those ladies, and it's rare these days that all four of us are actually in the office at the same time. Work-wise, I suppose things are basically OK. Busy, but that's good. I am behind (as in W-A-A-A-A-A-A-Y behind) in studying for my PHR examination, and I'm really beginning to curse myself for not beginning my studies earlier. (Of course, here I sit blogging when I should be studying...am I a genius or what?). As you know, I've really not been as proactive about this find-another-job-the-BRACman-cometh thing as I probably should have been, but I'm beginning to think that the agency is forcing my hand and that I've now got no choice but to become that way. Some recent discoveries and events (both of which are outside our spheres of control) are coming to light, and I am slowly losing that strong, faithful desire to "stick it out until the end" and remain loyal to this agency. The true loyalties they have to me - to employ, pay, and treat me fairly - they fulfill. But in the BRAC environment, they really and truly have no choice but to look toward their tomorrow in their new, BRAC-Commission-mandated environment. And, unfortunately, the human casualties along the way are just, well, unfortunate. It's time. Time to find a new place to call my own and a new niche to carve out for myself. I need to really vamp up my job hunt. Please, someone, find me a perfect GS-12-slide-14 position with lots of public interaction, next-to-no micromanagement, and the freedom to be as creative and expressive as I want to be! An unlimited budget and access to whatever resources I desire would be a bonus, as would my management's proclivity toward issuing numerous cash awards and a very limited requirement for TDY. I guess my challenge to you should be to find and NOT APPLY FOR that job yourselves. Heh! Oh well. God will lead me to where I am supposed to be. I just hope that He does so sooner than later. MUCH sooner.

(Remind me that I said this the next time I am boo-hooing about "oh-my-God-I-can't-believe-we're-closing" and all that nonsense and hoo-hah. Feel free to cut-and-paste my very words and throw them right back in my chubby-but-cute face.)

And continuing on this fun-filled, uplifting conversation (aren't you just ripe-n'-thrilled that you logged on and read my blog today???), I've got some bones to pick with a few folks, and have purposely kept my mouth shut about them...well, at least here in BlogVille(tm), anyway. My loved ones have heard the tales and, by and large, agree with me, which makes me feel somewhat less petty and foolish about how I've been feeling. Foolish or not, petty or not, this is my blog and dammit, I'm gonna spill the beans. These things have been bugging me for too long and I just want to spit them out. Talking about them orally has helped, but it's not quelled the anger/disappointment. Maybe blogging them out will? Maybe not. Here goes nothin' anyway...

1. If you are invited to a party...ANY party...the onus is on you to send a response. PERIOD. When did we become such an inconsiderate society? To be invited to a party is a gift. Someone likes you. Someone wants you around. Someone thinks you're pretty cool. I mean, do most folks by and large invite people in to their homes who they deem uncool? Thieves? Felons? Bastards? Not anyone I know. (Your mileage, I suppose, may vary. If so, poor you.) Anyway, it seems to be the consensus of many a person I know that a simple telephone call or EMAIL message in response to a party invitation is simply too much to ask. That pisses me off to NO END. It's inconsiderate, it's rude, it's thoughtless, and it's wrong. I've discussed this with you all before, my dear readers, back in an earlier post about in-home sales parties (i.e., Longaberger, Southern Living At Home, Pampered Chef, etc. ad nauseum). This time, my thoughts turn more personal. If you or your relative are invited to come and celebrate a birthday in someone's home, you really should have the respect for the hostess, the celebrated guest, and their family to afford them a courtesy of a response. When finalizing plans for Erin's birthday party last weekend, we were a-buzz at the last second, making calls and inquiries to invited guests in an effort to firm up a guest list. See, that's how parties work sometimes...caterers need definitive numbers. I, quite frankly, was busy and had many an other task to accomplish during my leave from work last week. I didn't expect or appreciate having to follow-up about, wait for, and wonder regarding our final guest list. In all honesty, that wasn't my responsibility, and I didn't appreciate it. Certain parties about whom I am speaking are repeat offenders when it comes to this sort of thing, and it pisses me off to no end. There. Done. Said. Deal with it. Rant #1, over. (Well, I'm certain it's not OVER...this will probably happen again and again because certain people are rude, rude, rude...but dammit, I had to say it.)

2. It is exceptionally rude when you are a part of an item-swap or a "Random Act Of Kindness" grouping and you fail to thank your gift-givers when they take the time and spend the money and energy to find a nice gift or two for you. Truly, people, is it that difficult to send a quick "Thanks Jen!" EMAIL message? I mean, if it is, please do all of us a favor and drop out of the group. The entire spirit and intent of these groups is to foster a feeling of kindness and goodness toward others. Do we do things for the "thanks" messages? No. But it's inconceivably and unspeakably rude not to take time out of your "so busy life" to thank those who do good things for you, especially given the fact that many, many in the world spend their entire lifetimes never doing good for others (or, for that matter, being treated kindly BY others). There. Done. Rant #2 finished.

3. Do not plan a party and openly discuss the party with persons you do not wish to invite. Period. It's rude, rude, rude, and more rude. This very recently happened to me, and I am still exceptionally bitter about it. Here's the story in sum. Someone that I know is due to have a baby later this year. When mention was made of a shower to me on not-one-but-TWO-occasions by the hostess, the implications were made as well that an invitation was coming my way. Although no one asked me to do this (note...I am admitting to some responsibility here), I freely chose to stop working on two crochet shawls that **name deleted to protect the surprise of the shawls** asked me to work on so that I could instead crochet a pretty blanket for the blessed newborn. No invitation came, and the shower date passed without my involvement, my participation, or my blanket (which I'll likely finish and send on to Project Linus or some other worthy charity...but that's another story for another day). That was, oh goodness, several weeks ago, but the entire situation popped up again a few days ago when RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE IN MY OWN HOME the topic of this person's shower came up. In my own fucking home! Can you believe it? I kept my mouth shut then and kept my mouth shut in the weeks that followed the shower when I had many an opportunity to say "Ya know, thanks for the invite to **name deleted**'s shower." And to preserve harmony and because I still truly don't know who reads this blog, I will not say anything to that person about it ever. But dammit, that really pissed me off. I mean, REALLY pissed me off. Something that makes the wound sting even more bitterly is that this hostess, on numerous occasions, has complained to me about not having been invited to events hosted by other mutual friends. You know, you'd think once you felt the sting personally, you'd be a little more inclined to be a bit more sensitive. Apparently not. Rant #3, done.

At the office today, we were discussing throwing a party for a mutual office friend who is getting married, and my boss said something to the effect of (when we were discussing not inviting someone) "it hurts if you think you should be invited to a party but aren't." True - she's right. Then I read some quip at a new website I discovered alluding to the writer being a "selfish bitch with a jacked up sense of entitlement." I wondered to myself, is this me? Am I nuts for feeling the way that I feel here? None of the people I've discussed these things with seem to think so, yet they all still bug and eat at me like ants at a picnic. Believe it or not, typing them out actually does make me feel better. Until the sudden and violent onslaught of bitchy and mean comments come in response. Ya know what...bring 'em on. This is my blog and these are my feelings and I've got the right to express 'em. So there. Yeah, there!

OK, a bit of good news to close out the post. At lunch today, I read something online that just made me smile. Read and enjoy for yourselves.

Have a wonderful night, folks. I've got more reading about external environments and strategic planning in my PHR book to do!

Jennifer