"Georgia On My Mind..."

Hi everyone. Greetings from the land of sinus infections (Curtis), gimpy-ness (me), and cold, un-May weather. I stayed home today, partly to take care of my poor husband, and partially (moreso-ly, if that's a word) to take care of myself. I fell over the weekend (and yes, I know I failed to mention it to you) and I limped all day yesterday. All around that H-U-G-E building where I work. Plus, I had to be on it for most of the morning, as I was in-processing our new folks (a job another HR Specialist handles, but she is serving jury duty this week). This morning, both my foot and my calf were swollen and I could hardly walk. My calf is SO stiff, probably because I favored my foot all day yesterday and didn't walk properly. I figured it was probably better to stay home today and stay off my foot. I have three certs on my desk to handle when I get back. I so wish they'd let us have access to Resumix from home....(oh well).

So anyway, something's on my mind and I'd like to bloviate about it. My faithful readers know that I'm a huge sorority geek. I've never mentioned here what organization I belong to, but I'll simply tell you that it's one of the older organizations in the National Panhellenic Conference. As a collegian, I was involved in my chapter, but it was truly not the experience I'd hoped it'd be. That's a boring bloviation for another rainy day. But once I moved here to the KC area, I got VERY involved in sorority alumnae life. I spent a year as our KC alumnae chapter's Secretary, and three as its President (I just inducted our new President a few weeks back). I've been to Leadership Conference and to a National Convention. I love our organization and have loved every (well, almost every) second of the leadership roles I've played. I've also always wanted to serve as a National or Area Officer within my organization. I've given a lot to our chapter and, although I was sad to pass the baton on to our new alumnae President, I was somewhat excited as well...excited to come to meetings, pay dues, help out with the local collegians, make baked goods and work to benefit our local philanthropy, etc. ad nauseum. Well, it appears that my absence from Greekery might just be short lived. Within a very short period of time, some significant buzz surrounded me and the possibility of my becoming the new chapter adviser for a local collegiate chapter. I've been mulling it over and giving it a lot of thought, and then last night, I had a long talk with one of our Area Officers. She was wonderful, and made me feel both smarter and confident about this adviser-ship. To say that I am honored to even be considered is a huge, huge understatement. I love our organization and love that chapter. They aren't my chapter of initiation (that's back in Indy), but they have been over-the-top welcoming and amazing and our alumnae chapter has truly, truly enjoyed being with and sharing sisterhood with them. So why, then, am I so conflicted? Do I want to do this? Absolutely. You bet. Without a doubt. But I think I just feel like I'm not the best person for the job. It's been ages (aaaaaaages) since I was a collegian. I don't even remember what all my adviser did, and I'm sure the rules and requirements have changed significantly since 1995 (when I graduated). The Area Officer that I spoke with last night really educated me on what the job entails, and truthfully, she believes that being an alumnae chapter President is more time consuming and difficult. I handled that just well and had a fantastic time doing so (and hell, we even got the "Honorable Mention" for "Outstanding Alumnae Chapter," so I can't be all bad). But I am so afraid that I won't give those young women what they need. Hell, what do they need? What does it take today to lead a houseful of women (and yes, they have a house) and support them and give them the leadership and guidance they need? Adult alumnae chapters, I can handle. Collegians, I'm not so sure. I want to do this so badly. I guess I just need someone to tell me that I can do it...that I can lead and set a good example and be a strong support for them. I want to do this so, so badly. And I'm scared to say "yes" and fowl it up. And scared to say "no" and lose out on this opportunity to continue to lead and be involved in my organization.

Christ, self-doubt is SUCH a mother-fucker.

It's Tuesday, and that means it's "American Idol" night here Chez Mintlipgloss. Last week, I downloaded an old version of Taylor Hicks performing "Georgia On My Mind" in his pre-"Idol" days. It's one of my all-time favorite songs, and given that and (a) that it's Tuesday and (b) that my sorority and Georgia have a special history, I thought it a fitting title for today's blog entry. Please remember to watch "Idol" tonight and to vote for our wonderful Soul Patrolman.



(Oh, and please send prayers for Curt's recovery and my abandonment of my insecurities. Merci tres beaucoup.)