Won't You Take Me To...FUNKY-TOWWWN?

Good grief.

Yes, I know that there are freaky, icky, strange, bizarre, weird, and just generally sick stories on the Internet. But why is it that I keep finding them while looking innocently for other, non-weird things?

Take, for instance, MSNBC's contention that Wacko-Jacko couldn't survive prison life. In "Prison Would Prove Tough For 'Fragile' Jackson," we learn all about how poor, child-like Michael Jackson could never fare behind bars. Oh, I'm sorry...were we supposed to feel badly for you, Michael? Perhaps you should have considered this sort of thing before you abused those children! The ACLU's going to have a field day with this, I'm certain. (Because, you know, God FORBID anyone subject a felon to any discomfort or worry.) (Hey, someone buy me one of those "ACLU - Enemy Of The State" tees from CafePress, woodja?) That man (and the sickeningly pretentious life he leads) just defy logic to me. I'd bet one or two of my Longaberger baskets that he'll walk or they'll be a hung jury and we'll be riiiight back where we started from allll over again.

And in other fun and icky news, our friends over at WebMD have reported that a young woman recently delivered a baby after receiving an ovarian transplant from her twin sister. Having suffered myself from an infertility-related condition, I am not one to begrudge those unable to have a child. But good CHRIST, this is just weird to me on so, so many levels. When all is said and done here, didn't this woman, in all actuality, just give birth to her sister's child? I'm sorry, folks, but this just icks me out. (Oh God, I can just HEAR the onslaught of "bitch" EMAIL messages a-headin' my way.)

OK, I'm gone. Bye. :)