Let The Healing Begin

I took a pretty courageous step tonight and made a leap of forgiveness.

Someone I once loved very dearly hurt me fifteen years ago, and I've been harboring that sadness, that anger, and that hurt for the longest, longest time. Tonight, I opened the door of forgiveness, re-established contact, and made known some special, important feelings...feelings that I've been holding on to for far too long. It was a scary step, but one I'm glad that I've taken. Life is far too precious for me to allow resentment and sadness to remain a part of my soul, especially in light of the goodness and richness God has given to me. My energies are truly better spent (and are very dearly deserved) elsewhere. And so I'm glad I did this. It's been on my mind for quite some time...I even listed it as one of my "100 things to do before I die." Tonight, I update that list accordingly, and do so much happier and lighter in spirit.

Before I die, I want to...

1. ...graduate from college. (5/14/95)
2. ...get an amazing job. (8/7/95)
3. ...get an even more amazing job. (2/8/99)
3. ...finish my internship. (2/8/01)
4. ...marry "The Man Of My Dreams." (4/7/01)
5. ...become a mother. (9/18/01)
6. ...buy a home of my own. (1/15/03)
7. ...serve as President of my sorority's local alumnae chapter. (4/26/03)
7. ...be elected or appointed to an Area or National Officer position in my sorority.
8. ...be promoted to the GS-12 grade level. (11/16/03)
9. ...be promoted to the GS-13 grade level.
10. ...finish my Master's.
11. ...earn my Doctorate.
12. ...become an adult literacy volunteer and help bring the gift of reading to others.
13. ...weigh 135 pounds.
14. ...visit New York City.
15. ...see Josh Groban in concert. (2/4/04)
16. ...sing live and in-person with Josh Groban.
17. ...own my own business.
18. ...forgive Vicky (but not forget - note the difference).
19. ...forgive Scott (and forget, too...).
20. ...re-establish contact with Doug.
21. ...become completely fluent in the French language.
22. ...start my own business.
23. ...see my parents holding my grandchildren in their arms.
24. ...go to Australia with Curtis.
25. ...write and publish a book.
26. ...record an album.
27. ...fight for the greater good - and win.
28. ...see abortion made illegal - forever.
29. ...adopt a child.
30. ...go to law school.
31. ...be on the radio (as an on-air personality).
32. ...be on the radio (singing my little heart out!).
33. ...feel 100% comfortable in my own skin about 90% of the time.
34. ...think about "that time in my life" without crying uncontrollably.
35. ...muster up the courage to call "that person" and begin a healing dialogue for us both. (3/31/05)

Many blessings, dear friends.

-Jennifer