Happy Resurrection Day, Everyone!

It's hard to believe it, but it's really Easter Sunday. Many blessings to you on this special day, my loyal readers. Hope that you and your families have a blessed and wonderful day!

This has been a very difficult week for me. Personally, professionally, you name it. Work is going well and I am enjoying what I am doing. I love feeling like I make a contribution to "the greater good." I love it that I work in a building where everyone knows my name (insert the theme music from "Cheers" here) and where I am respected and liked and have a lot of friends. I love it that I finally have a strong working knowledge of my field (which, let me add, I never thought would happen). I love my co-workers and it's wonderful to be a part of their families (and to have them in ours, as well). But I am slowly coming to abhor the time and energy that work takes from my life. It's a long drive to-and-fro (and yes, I knew that when I bought this house...), and I workworkwork all day and giveandgiveandgive of myself there. By the time I get home, it's often 6:00 or so and I am exhausted. I want to be one of those super-mom sorts...you know the type. Who can cook and clean and be involved with her community and church and hold a full-time job and be successful while simultaneously and quite wonderfully taking care of a family. I think it's an unfair expectation...one that I am placing on myself. To have a healthy and happy child and marriage and a strong career is a wonderful thing. I am blessed beyond measure. I need to tell myself that everything else is just gravy. Gravy that can come at another, less busy time in my life, perhaps.

On the personal end, I've made a difficult decision. I've spent a lot of my time and energy (and tears and worry and prayers) in the last several months on the Terri Schiavo case. As horribly selfish as I fear this makes me seem, I just can't do it anymore. My heart and prayers and love are with Terri and the Schindler family. But I just don't have the emotional fortitude to let this consume me any longer. This is in God's hands. I know He isn't happy, but He knows what's best. And what's NOT best is for me to spend the amount of time and worry (and literally, the nausea and tears) on this. I can't do anything. I'm powerless, save the grace of prayer. A long time ago my mother told me that there were just things in this life that we as humans were not meant to understand. And that someday...in Heaven...God would explain to us anything we wanted to know. Back then, I remembered thinking about all of the things I'd ask God when it was my turn. "Why is the sky blue and not purple?" "Now does my heart know to keep beating when I am asleep?" "How is it that you see and hear and know everything about everyone at all times?" How I sometimes wish I still had that same child-like innocence and saw the world through the purity of those eyes. I just have to trust that God has this under control. Perhaps Terri was chosen for something greater than we can see. Or maybe she was sent to teach us about loving through the most horrible and scary of circumstances. I've written a draft of a living will, and we're planning to see an attorney soon to verbalize and formalize our wishes, both for our own medical care and for the care and upbringing of our daughter should we both die. Maybe that's the message Terri taught us...that we have to do now what we have put off. That life doesn't wait to bring you tragedy until you're "totally caught up with things." It's strange. I don't even know this woman (other than what we've seen in the media and what I've read in these last several months), but yet I feel like I am so involved. Like she was my sister, too. Maybe this is selfish, but I've had to say my "goodbye" to her this week in order to, well, just survive. I thank God for the safety and health of my own family and pray for all of us, including you my readers, that we are all always safe and free from harm and injury and crime and sadness and sickness. Please, my friends, I beg of you. Take care of yourselves and your families. Please. If you do that, Terri doesn't die in vain, and this tragedy will bring about good in all of our lives.

On the happier end of things, Curt's family is coming over for Easter today, which will be nice. He smokes an amazing ham on our smoker (YUM!), and I'm making green bean casserole and dessert and salad. My amazing mother-in-law makes a delicious potato recipe and WONDERFUL wheat rolls, so those will be on our table as well. You HAVE to try this dessert, folks. I am not a coffee person myself, but it's really quite tasty. My husband is the quintessential coffee fan, and I made this dessert for him to celebrate his first flight lesson. Whoah mah goodness, did he go ape! Since his family are all coffee fanatics, too, he suggested that we make this again for today. Try it! :)

I loved "ER" last Thursday night. Neela is gorgeous. Just gorgeous. And I am thrilled that she and Gallant are together. I've always liked him, and I hope he'll be back to stay after his tour ends in Iraq. That scene where she sees him and runs to him...wow. I just cried. If anyone can tell me what that song is called...the one that is played as they reunite there on the street...I'd really appreciate it. Speaking of songs, the song that's played as the episode ends is called "I'll Find A Way," and it's by Rachael Yamagata. It's beautiful, and I can't stop playing it. I was glad to see that Napster had it! Speaking of "ER" and Napster, check out Punjabi MC's "Beware Boys (Mundian To Bach Ke)." I love that!

(I told you guys that I had an unhealthy addiction to my television shows and their characters!)

I'm off. Have a great Easter, friends!