In My Father's Eyes

Someone once said never to post anything on the Internet when your heart's hurting or your mind is filled with sadness. Tonight, though, it just seems appropriate. I miss my father...so much that it hurts. My parents are the most amazing people, and I am so incredibly thankful that I was born to them. They're about 500 miles away in Indianapolis. I miss Mom too, but tonight, my heart is flooded with thoughts of Daddy. It's been a very rough year for him, and it's hurt me so much both to see him be hurt and to basically be rendered unable to do anything about it. The details are private and I won't share them. What I will share with you is that he's just an amazing person...probably one of the most selfless, warm, caring people I've never known. And talk about smart! And don't even get me started on how funny he is! He is and always be my hero - the smartest and funniest guy I know and the person in whose eyes and heart I want the greatest pride and joy. He's the person I am probably most like in this entire world. I just love him. That's all I can say. He's amazing and funny and strong and smart and a hero and a survivor and a war veteran and a fantastic grandfather and, well, just my Daddy.

Ordinarily, my homesickness isn't strong like this...at least, not anymore (it sure was when I first moved here!). I think there are two strong factors influencing my mood here. Earlier today, a colleague let us know that her father has a brain tumor. It broke my heart. I just can't fathom...(and I'm going to stop right now before I think any MORE about it). This evening, I was relaxing to the sounds of XM Radio and the beautiful song "In My Daughter's Eyes" came on. Although it's written and sung from the mother's perspective, I can see the words coming from Daddy and I know that he loves me. The memories of my childhood are flooding back to me tonight, and I'm just filled with a lot of bittersweet joy...joy for having had such an amazing father in my life and sad because the years have gone by so quickly and because we're so far apart now. I just miss him.

OK, I'll stop here before this blog gets any mushier or the keyboard gets any more drenched with my tears! :)