My Bloviation Celebration!

A Celebration Of Life

2006-10-07T10:29:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone. Hope you've had a good week.

All week long, I've been consumed with sadness. Undoubtedly, you're aware of the horrible Pennsylvania Amish school shootings this week. Even though hundreds of miles separate my family and I from that place, I've just ached all week. I am the parent of a small child, and not a day goes by when I don't pray for her safety and fear for it in turn. Our schools have lock-down plans and practice drills for how to respond in this very sort of thing. But the Amish are the purest of people. Kind. Open. Trusting. That something like this could happen to them...to their children...is the sickest kind of heartbreak. The grace and the dignity that the surviving community has shown in these past few days has taught me an invaluable lesson about forgiveness and grace. Their beauty and their unselfish love is just overpowering to me. As those of you who read my blog regularly know, I'm not very good at forgiveness. I am not Amish, I am not part of that community, and I do not know the young victims or their families. So from afar, I look for a way to help...to try and make things less awful. Maybe the best thing I can do, in addition to praying for the surviving relatives and community, is to celebrate the lives of those lost beautiful children by becoming more forgiving myself. What better way to honor lives led in kindness and selflessness than to live kindly and selflessly?

This morning, we learned as well that Buck O'Neil died overnight. I've not lived in Kansas City for very long, but I've come to love Buck as one of my own in these last few years. Every appearance, every charity event, every time his presence could do good, he was there. Always smiling, always encouraging, always happy. What a beautiful man, and what a loss for the Kansas City community. Rest well, dear friend. Thank you for the joy.

Today, I'm also celebrating two living souls as well. We're having a party tomorrow to celebrate Curt's father's birthday, and my beautiful Taylor Hicks turns 30 today. There's really no better way to honor those we lose than to celebrate the lives of those still with us.

No Catchy Title Here!

2006-09-24T11:19:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone. Hope you're all doing well. It's been nuts lately! Hope things have been somewhat more calm and less insane for you.

When I first came down to our little DEU, we were swamped and backlogged and it looked like we'd never find the end of the tunnel. We did. And now, we're right back there again. It's a terrible feeling to feel powerless and unable to do your job. I can do it...that's not the issue. It's watching that "to do list" getting bigger and bigger that scares me. I work like a dog all day and yet, the stupid thing gets no smaller. I need to NOT let this stress me out (because it DOES stress me out...something fierce). All I can do is all I can do, right? Remind me of this little simple mantra in the coming days when I am over-the-top stressed again and need a battery re-charge.

We had a wonderful time with my parents when they came to visit last week for Erin's birthday. I still can't believe she is five years old. I got to thinking about something while they were here. (And yes, I know it's common-sensical...whatever!)...I love our history. Our stories. The memories we have and the funny stories that we tell about our lives and the things we've done and been through together. I know every family is probably like this...full of hilarious tales and special moments of yesterday that they smile when they share with new friends or when they recall them together. I guess I am just happy. Happy to be my parents' daughter and my husband's wife and my daughter's mother. They are fantastic people...true blessings from God. Sometimes I still don't feel completely worthy, but obviously God does, and that's all that matters. Mom and Dad are home in Indy now, safe and tired from the trip. It was so wonderful to see them again.

On the topic of Erin's birthday, I've got some photos to share with all of you! (Remember to click on each photo to get a larger view!)

Here's the invitiation I made for Erin's birthday party, which we celebrated at the Olathe Chuck E. Cheese on September the 16th. Stampin' Up products used include stamp sets ("Love Without End" and the now-retired "Dot Invitation"), inks (Certainly Celery, Handsome Hunter, and Pink Passion), cardstock (Certainly Celery and Pretty In Pink), one of the SU bookmarks, pink gingham ribbon, Stampin' Dimensionals, and The Tearing Edge. The mini-glue dots aren't from SU.

Chuck E. loves Erin!

Because Erin's a little princess (she'll tell you as much!), she loves purses and little frilly girly things. I saw this adorable pattern (called "AJ's Wrist Bag") over at Crochetville and I had to make it for her!

I used two full balls of the Sugar 'N Cream cotton yarn in "Playtime" and, I believe, an "H" hook. It worked up wonderfully and it was fun to make! It was also a quick-make, so keep this pattern in mind if you're ever in need of a last-second gift!

A dear friend I met several years ago while interning for the Department of Defense never forgets Erin's birthday. Even though she's far away in miles, she's always in my heart. She sent Erin a darling card and a gift of money for her birthday, and here's the thank-you card I made for her:

I used the following Stampin' Up products to make this card: cardstock (Almost Amethyst), inks (Almost Amethyst, Perfect Plum, and Rose Red), stamp sets ("Mini Messages," "Little Layers Plus," and "Quotes To Live By"), an eyelet (in Perfect Plum) and the eyelet setting kit, a bookmark, white organdy ribbon, and The Tearing Edge. The mini glue dots aren't from SU.

Not much else really to share with you. There's been a lot going on up at the sorority house (and not all of it has been good), and it's been hard. I wish I could talk to all of you about it, but (as you understand, I'm sure), there are confidentiality issues preventing me from doing so. I guess it just suffices to say that this is much harder than I thought it would be. More rewarding too, don't get me wrong (I've already had several tearful heart-to-hearts with some of the girls). I am honored and thrilled to get this opportunity to work with them. And I guess it's not always supposed to be easy. (But is it always supposed to be this hard?) The girls are fantastic and they make me proud to be a part of this sisterhood. I know the challenges will come and go and that they will make the girls stronger and me stronger, too. Just pray for us. And pray for me. I want to do everything right and want to be for them everything they need for me to be.

Speaking of sorority life, yesterday was our alumnae chapter's kick-off event for the 2006-2007 year. This is the first chapter event since I relinquished my presidency (after three years of leadership!). It was a lot of fun. Nothing fancy...just a barbecue at Cedar Lake Park in Olathe. Yowza, it was chilly out there yesterday! And with Curtis and I both recovering from sinus infections, we probably should have brought blankets! Oh well...

I'm off for a bagel and a ride on my exercise bike. Have a wonderful day, friends.

Erin's Big Birthday Weekend

2006-09-16T20:27:00.000-04:00

Greetings from BirthdayVille(tm)! This weekend, we're having a weekend-long celebration for Erin's fifth birthday, which is officially this Monday (09/18). My parents are here from Indianapolis, and it's wonderful having them here. Yesterday, we low-keyed it and just enjoyed time together and took Erin out for dinner at her faaaavorite place. Today, she had a big shin-dig at Chuck E. Cheese, and dinner with the whole "unit family" (us, my parents, and Curt's parents), complete with more presents than she can fit in her room. We're overwhelmed with gratitude and joy for the five (!!!) years that we've had our little angel with us. We've gotten lots of photos, and I will try to get those posted soon.

"And he would say, 'I close my eyes and look inside my heart.'"

2006-09-11T20:28:00.000-04:00

Children of 9/11 old enough to ask about Daddy
POSTED: 8:32 a.m. EDT, September 11, 2006

NEW YORK (AP) -- Four-year-old Gabriel Jacobs inherited his dad's sandy hair, long nose and blue eyes. The day they buried what was left of his father -- a piece of rib, part of a thigh bone, a bit of one arm -- the boy released a balloon into the air, then turned that familiar face skyward to make sure his daddy caught it.

This is how a son reaches out to the father he never met. Ariel Jacobs died in the World Trade Center attack six days before his only child was born.

"When he sends a balloon up to the sky and he finally sees the tiny dot of the balloon go through the clouds, he says, 'OK, the balloon found the doorway to heaven, I think he has it now," says Gabi's mother, Jenna Jacobs-Dick.

Just now understanding
There are dozens of children like Gabi Jacobs, born to September 11 widows in the months after the attacks. Five years later, as they approach kindergarten, they are just beginning to grasp the stories of their fathers and of the day that changed their lives forever.

The first baby arrived just hours after the disaster, and the last nine months later. Some mothers discovered they were pregnant only after the dads were gone -- including Rudolph Giuliani's longtime aide, who was married to fire Capt. Terence Hatton. The firefighter's daughter was born the next spring, and her mother named her Terri.

Their fathers were rescue workers, cops, restaurant waiters and stockbrokers. Their mothers, pregnant and alone when the dust of the towers settled, worried about the stress on their unborn children from the agony and shock. Some miscarried. One went into labor during her husband's memorial service.

Many moms broke down in the delivery room, where they tried to fill that empty space with photos, a police badge, a piece of clothing. Friends, sisters and in-laws with cameras and brave faces stood in for all those lost dads.

Each delivery was, all at once, wonderful and awful.

Living Legacies
Julie McMahon remembers her son's birth in early 2002 as a day of jangled nerves. "It wasn't supposed to be this way," she thought.

She delivered baby Patrick while her husband, Bobby, a firefighter and high school baseball star, looked on from a photograph on the bedside table. The picture captured a moment of pure happiness -- Bobby, wearing a cap and a giant grin, leans over their first son Matthew, clutching a massive tuft of cotton candy.

Patrick arrived with Bobby's curly hair and lanky body, and has sprouted into a miniature version of his daredevil dad. The child took his mother's breath away recently when he bounded by, swinging his arms and moving his head just so -- it was Bobby's carefree strut.

When James Patrick's son was born, everyone agreed it was like looking at his father -- the same fair skin, blue eyes and brown hair, that certain way he moved his mouth. The Cantor Fitzgerald bond broker, ecstatic about starting a family, died seven weeks before Jack entered the world.

The boy is also playful and silly like his dad. His mother, Terilyn Esse, like many of the other 9/11 moms, cannot explain how the children acquired their fathers' personalities -- the social grace, the twinkling eyes, a love of words or music.

But there is a word they all use to describe it.
"It's bittersweet," says Jacobs-Dick, whose husband was attending a conference at the World Trade Center. "He's a reminder of Ari, not just the fact that he existed, but of who he was because they're so similar, and I can appreciate Ari in the present through him."

Not a replacement
She is careful, though, that Gabi doesn't grow up with the sense that he is here to take the place of his father, who wept at the doctor's office when he learned that the blur on the ultrasound was a boy.

It is an unfair burden for any child who has lost a parent, says Marylene Cloitre, director of the Institute for Trauma and Stress at the New York University Child Study Center. And because of the public tragedy, children of 9/11 victims might always feel pressure to represent something even larger.

"Which is very hard to do when you're 17 and you hardly know what you feel and think yourself," Cloitre said. "Like 'Oh, my father's a hero so I have to carry the heroic memory,' when they don't even know what that is or how to do that."

Cloitre is tracking 700 children who lost parents in the 2001 attack, each a study in grief and hardship.
But the 4-year-olds are unique: They are building images of their fathers from the wisps of other people's memories and photographs, without even the subconscious sense of long ago cuddles or kisses on the forehead.

Full Of Questions
As each child discovers a lost father's life, along come questions: How did Daddy die? Who are the bad guys? Where did the buildings go? When they cleaned up the buildings, did they clean up Daddy, too?

Cloitre says the conversation will change as they grow up. In a few years they will probably want to know whether their fathers would have loved them. As teens, they may wonder about identity -- how am I like him?

"It sort of exhausts people -- they wish it could be over, that they could just say one thing, but really, what to say today pales in the face of the real challenge, which is a lifelong dialogue with their child about who this person was," she said.

Already, some of these children can tell you Daddy died when bad guys took control of some airplanes, and then flew them into the towers. Others haven't even heard the word "terrorist" and don't know there was anything more than a big fire.

"There are always questions and things that come up, and sometimes I'm thinking, 'oh my gosh' -- you try to buy time so you can come up with an answer and do the best you can," says Kimberly Statkevicus, whose second son was born four months after husband Derek died.

Their child, named after his father, turns 5 in January. He knows that a piece of bone was recovered from his father's right hand, and is matter-of-fact about what happened. "My daddy went to work one day and some bad guys came and knocked the buildings down and crushed him like a pancake," he explains.

He wonders why there are no photographs of him and his father, like his brother has. Sometimes, it upsets him.

Finding Answers
Some of the questions of these fatherless children are easy: Did Daddy like mayonnaise or mustard? When he played baseball, did he strike people out?

Other times, they're more spiritual: Does he see me when I ride my bike?
For those answers, Terilyn Esse has taught Jack Patrick there is a special thing he can do.
"When he started to talk, I would ask him, 'Where does Daddy live?' And he would say 'In heaven,' and I would say, 'Who does he live with?"' she said. "And he would say 'With God and the angels,' and I would say 'If you want to talk to Daddy what do you do?'

"And he would say 'I close my eyes and look inside my heart."'

Copyright 2006 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

God bless America. Today and always.

It Counts, Right?

2006-09-10T10:25:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone.

You've seen me post before about "Secret Pal" and "Random Act Of Kindness" (or "RAOK") groups that I've been in. Their basic premise is that you seek someone new, find out their interests, and send them a little gift or two to make them smile. It's wonderful, and it's been the source of a lot of joy and new friendships for me. I decided this week to try a new twist on this old favorite. I made a not-so Random-Act-Of-Kindness (or, in JenSpeak(tm), an NS-RAOK), for someone very special to me. Andrea and I met in Indianapolis and were very close friends. We've had our bumps and bruises (mostly because of me...another story for another day), but she's always been right there to support me, love me, listen to me, make me laugh, and to basically just, well, be there. She and her husband moved back to Anderson (which is not far from Indy) a few years ago, and now we're re-connected online. I dedicate my first NS-RAOK to my Adia. The one person who really gets my humor ("drop trou" and "blow ass" and "what the HEAEH-ll?") and the best person to karaoke at Parrotheads with and my favorite fellow "American Idol" fan (other than Erin, of course!).

Here are photos of the card I made for her (remember, please click the photos for larger images):

And here's a photo of her gift:

I was in a hurry to get this RAOK out to her, so it's not much. I crocheted her a washcloth using some Sugar 'n Cream yarn in Playtime" and threw in a bar of Indigo Wild ZUM soap in "Mint" and some peppermint foot lotion for her to pamper herself in minty style. I also included a Vera Bradley photo keychain in "Mesa Red" and a Longaberger coin purse.

For her card, I used the following Stampin' Up products: cardstock (Mellow Moss, Real Red, and Whisper White), inks (Chocolate Chip, Mellow Moss, Real Red, and Ruby Red), stamp sets (the ADORABLE, now-retired "Country Apple," "Love Without End," and "Sincere Salutations"), The Tearing Edge, and buttons in "Handsome Hunter." The glue dots aren't from SU.

So even though I know Andrea and she knew this was coming, it counts as a Random Act Of Kindness, right?

So, So Grateful...

2006-09-09T18:21:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone.

I had planned to post here about some general JenInfo(tm)...inane details to anyone other than me about those things that interest me more than anyone else (and yet somehow, you guys still read this blog...go figure). I had it all planned out. I've been cleaning and anxiously anticipating the arrival of my parents this week for Erin's fifth birthday. I've got the makings of a sinus infection. I splurged on new Vera Bradley and some expensive yarns for myself. I've also put together (and photographed) a not-so-random-act-of-kindness for someone dear to my heart, and I'd planned to tell you all about it (and show the photos). And then my mother called me.

She and Daddy were involved in a hit-and-run car accident today. While they are both fine physically, they're both shaken and disheartened by what happened. Somehow, the shock of what could have been (God, I don't even want to THINK about it) and the grateful joy I feel at their safe return home just makes invalid and unimportant anything else I wanted to share with you. I can't even fathom my life without them in it. Even thought 500 miles separate us, we're so, so close. We talk and EMAIL every day. They are my parents. The first loves of my life. The people I most want proud of me (even above my own husband, shame on me for saying so). They have been so good to me, and I am so not ready to face the world without them in it. I am so, so grateful to God for sparing their lives. And I pray for the people who hit them that the experience frightened them in to becoming better, safer drivers (hey, a girl can always hope, right?). If you love someone, please go give that person a big hug and kiss right now. Life is fleeting. And you never know when your loved one will take his or her last breath.

God bless you guys. Thanks for being my friends.

Love,
Jennifer

More Prayers Needed

2006-09-05T21:54:00.000-04:00

Hello friends. I need to ask for your prayers again. A very old and very dear friend of our family just lost her husband after, oh goodness, 60+ years of marriage. This woman was the mother of a dear, lifetime friend (Vic) of my mother. Vic died when they were young adults, and Mom and Jean remained friends all these years. Even though Jean and Max were very advanced in age, they still made it a point to come all the way from Des Moines to Indianapolis for our wedding in 2001...something that meant the world to my mother, our family, and me. Jean and Max and their family have meant so much to my mother and her family for so many years, and this loss just breaks my heart. How wonderful for them that they had so, so many years together. Please pray for Jean that her heart and spirit find peace in these last years that she is with us here on Earth.

Here's the card I made for her (as always, please click for a larger image):

(Stampin' Up products used include cardstock in Blush Blossom and Mellow Moss; the "Brighter Tomorrow" and now-retired "Quotes To Live By" stamp sets; inks in Lovely Lilac, Not Quote Navy, and Sahara Sand; white organdy ribbon; and The Tearing Edge. The mini glue-dots aren't from SU.)

Thank you for your prayers and good thoughts.

Much love to you all,
Jen

Farewell, Mate

2006-09-04T10:59:00.000-04:00

"Crococile Hunter" Steve Irwin killed.

Although I'm not surprised, I'm certainly saddened. Steve was a familiar character of discussion in our household. We loved his frisky persona and his unabashed way with animals. What a sad loss. I hope his suffering was brief, and wish his family, friends, and many fans blessings of love and comfort and peace.

Ooh la la!!!

2006-09-02T21:19:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone. I am f-l-o-a-t-i-n-g! Just got in from a long afternoon of pampering at Mario Tricoci. You may remember me mentioning that Curtis had bought me a facial/pedicure/manicure gift certificate from Tricoci's for a Mother's Day gift. I'd initially planned to use it last weekend (it was the week after recruitment, Erin was going to be up visiting her grandparents, we had a date night planned, etc. etc.), but my car situation put the ka-bosh on that. So I re-booked for today. Oh my, oh my, oh my. It was just wonderful. I had a 90-minute facial/massage, a manicure, a makeover, and my first-ever pedicure. Oh wowsa. I sure feel pretty! And reeeeeeeeelaaaaxed. I was worried there for a while that I might not be able to make the drive home (I'm in a rental...more on that momentarily). It was a devine experience, and I plan to make it a monthly habit to go back for pedicures. Maybe even the facials as well. We'll see. To Wynn, Holly, and Ashley - thank you for making me feel heavenly and beautiful. You ladies rock!

My car is STILL in the shop. Here we are SIX DAYS LATER and our fine friends at Pontiac have no idea what's wrong with my car. Given that (a) the car is a Pontiac and (b) I took it to a Pontiac service center, you'd think that (c) I'd have my car back by now...or at least a solid diagnostic regarding the problem(s) at hand. No such luck. Apparently WonderMechanic(tm) seemed to think that additional eyes were needed to figure out what in tarnation was wrong with my baby Vibe, so he called in a mechanic pal from GM (you're thinking, "this can't be good, Jen"...and I bet you're right). Still no closer to a decision. But I finally broke down and just rented a car today. Poor Curtis...he smiled and patiently took on the role of "Jen's Personal Chauffeur" (to include the l-o-n-g trek from Gardner-to-KCMO-back-to-Gardner twice a day to work), but I felt tremendously guilty, and just broke down and rented a car. Depending on what they find wrong with it (assuming they ever do), I may be finding myself shopping for a new vehicle soon. It's a shame - I loved that little Vibe.

Not much else really new to report on our end. Party plans are in place for Erin's fifth (!!!!) birthday party on the 16th, and my parents are coming out from Indy to celebrate with us. I've missed them something fierce.

Hope that you are all having a wonderful Labor Day weekend, friends. Be safe and enjoy this time off with your loved ones!

Highly Addictive (You've Been Warned!)

2006-09-01T21:32:00.000-04:00

Check out this new JenAddiction(tm):

Practice random acts of literacy (and have a good time doing so!) Check out this highly addictive website and learn more!

Be forewarned, however. It's addictive!

(Now if I could just figure out why no one can find any of my books!)

A quick "happy birthday" to someone special from my yesterday. He celebrates birthday #35 today. May every blessing and joy be with him today and forever.

Happy Birthday Mom!!!!!

2006-08-31T21:29:00.000-04:00

Sixty-one years ago today, the amazing woman I call "Mom" was born. How I wish there were the words to describe to you the joy and the light that she has been to my life. She was my first (and best) "best friend." She has been my champion, my advocate, my strength, my voice, and my courage every day of my life. She's faced some exceptionally intolerable pain and never ceased to put me first. Although 500 miles separate us in body, she is always, always with my in spirit and I love her more now today than ever.

Here are the gifts and card we sent to her. I hope they made her smile and feel loved and missed and adored (because she is!)

First, the card (you know me, don't I always make a homemade card?). Remember that you can click on the photo for a larger image:

Stampin' Up products used cardstock (Almost Amethyst, Blush Blossom, Certaily Celery, and Elegant Eggplant), stamp set ("Sincere Salutations"), ink (Almost Amethyst), the square punch, white organdy ribbon, buttons (in Pale Plum and Mellow Moss), and Stampin' Dimensionals. The mini glue dots aren't from SU, and I used the Sizzix machine to cut out the flowers.

And here are her gifts (again, please click for a larger photo):

She likes Vera Bradley (and I am getting "in" to those bags as well), so we got her the "Small Cosmetic" in "New Hope" (love, love, LOVE that fabric) and the "Zip Wallet" in "Petal Pink." We also made her a mix-CD of songs to listen to at the office, in the car, or whenever she needs a musical uplift and wants to feel close to us. I threw in some classics I knew she'd love (a little Taylor Hicks with a dash of some Ella Fitzgerald and a splash of Dolly Parton) and some new stuff I think she will really like (Amos Lee, Chieli Minucci, and a host of others). I hope that she enjoys her gifts and knows how much we truly love and miss her. Happy Birthday, Mom. Can't wait to see you in a few weeks for Erin's birthday!!!

And on the thread of appreciations and photos, another huge THANK YOU SO MUCH to Chrissy for being a wonderful Secret Pal. Here's a photo of the final gift I received from her the day before yesterday:

I love the wool yarns! The Gems Sapphire is SO SOFT. And the Lorna's Laces is just gorgeous. This will make a VERY warm hat! And check out the home-made, sunshine-y washcloth! This will be a perfect addition to my next soak-in-the-tub-and-relax session! Thank you again, Chrissy. You rock my socks off!

Have a great night and a wonderful Friday, friends!

It's Much Harder Than I Thought It'd Be...

2006-08-29T20:40:00.000-04:00

OK, so it’s not a secret that it’s been a while since I’ve posted. A long, long, long while. I’ve also been somewhat rotten in the "return-my-EMAIL-please-Jen" department. The last few weeks have been very topsy-turvy and busy and active and exhausting and wonderful…all rolled up in one. I apologize for being gone. Believe it or not, I’ve really missed you guys. And I’ve missed typing out and sharing my experiences with all of you. Have you ever noticed that by manually plunking out your thoughts and feelings (and sharing them with the world proper here on the Internet), that your perspective sometimes changes? That which seems monumental later feels not-so-much-so. And some things hurt much more deeply than you realized? Interesting, isn’t it?

Those of you who are faithful readers know that I was asked last spring to consider taking on the role of chapter adviser at a local collegiate chapter of my sorority. I’d just come off four years of leadership in the local alumnae chapter (one year as secretary and three as president), and in all honesty, I was truthfully looking forward to merely coming to meetings, paying dues, helping raise money for our philanthropies, and enjoying the company and friendship my sisters had to offer (versus trying to do all of this AND lead the chapter simultaneously). I figured I’d make cookies for events, serve as a pen-pal to one of the local collegians, and just, well, be a sister. When the call came in (well, actually, it was an EMAIL, but I digress…) to serve as the local collegiate chapter’s adviser, I was torn. I wanted to do it so badly. SO badly. And I was above honored to even be considered. But did I have what it took to do the job (and the girls) justice? What kind of time commitment were we talking about here? What about my family? I had truly wanted to relax somewhat sorority-wise and focus more on my husband and daughter (and killer Boston Terrier) and also on the hunt for my next job (you know, since the BRAC has come and obliterated my professional existence). But I’ve always wanted to be actively involved in my organization. When I was a collegian, I so admired the alumnae who served on advisory councils or who were chapter advisers or Area or National officers. I wanted that for myself, too. And this opportunity to serve my organization and help lead its younger members was one step closer to becoming one of those alumnae myself, and so I said yes. If you had told me then what I know now, I think I would have been somewhat astonished. Simply put, I had no idea how much energy and time it would cost me…and how much I would love it. I just had no idea.

There has been an ongoing issue with our chapter that I can’t discuss, but it’s safe to say that it has usurped much of my energy and time since agreeing to do this. That’s fine…it’s part of the job…but I had no idea what I was getting myself in to. The situation is emotional, and it’s been hard on my girls. Seeing them struggle was a hurt for which I was not prepared. It’s getting better, and I am thrilled to be in there knee-deep and involved and actively in touch with and working with the girls. They’ve needed that kind of connection and assistance for so long now, and I am glad to be the one who is there for them.

Last week was formal recruitment (in my day, we called it “rush”). The week prior was their work week (you know the drill…move back in before school starts, clean and clean and clean some more, rehearse recruitment skits, etc. etc.) I spent every evening there during recruitment, came to visit several times during work week, and stayed some nights past 12:30 in the morning. Was I glad to do it? Absolutely. Would I do it again? Without question. But in all honesty, it was more grueling and energy-consuming than I imagined it would be. I got little sleep, I ate very poorly, and I was drained. Add to that the ongoing issues with the chapter and I was just exhausted. Next year, I will do things much differently…take the time off work, better prepare myself (having food and comfy clothes on hand), get more rest, etc. etc.

I am so, so proud of these women. Even in the short time that I’ve been working with them, they are teaching me so much. Sometimes it’s funny how things work out. I came in to this experience thinking that I wasn’t the right girl for it…and thrust out into a house of 20-something 20-somethings who needed my insight and help. I had no idea that they’d be the ones to teach me. We didn’t do as well at recruitment as I’d hoped. (Let me rephrase that. We did BEAUTIFULLY, and the girls were absolutely fantastic. We didn’t get the number of new pledges that I’d hoped.) Hearing the lower number just HURT. I mean, it PHYSICALLY hurt. I felt as if I’d been kicked in the stomach. After everything that had happened and all of their hard work, I felt that they deserved to take the maximum number of available pledges. When that didn’t come to pass, my heart simply broke. That was a pain I couldn't have expected or anticipated...and which, I fear, I did not hide very well! Not one hour later, however, the tide turned. When the girls learned how many new members they were receiving (and their names), they were absolutely thrilled. THRILLED. When I left at 12:30 the next morning, their laughter and V-E-R-Y loud music could be heard outside the house. They were dancing and laughing and getting to know their new sisters and pigging out and basically just having fun being young. The lesson I learned? That being a sorority adviser is like being a parent in a sense. You want the world for them….you want everything good and wonderful and “the best” for them…but you have to learn as well to relax your hopes and expectations when you see their joy in what they have. And believe me, it was joy. I couldn’t hold back the tears for long…tears that began in sadness and heartbreak turned in to tears of pride for my girls and joy in their new sisters. I am sure many more lessons await me in my dealings with these (now 30-something in count) young women.

In the midst of all the emotional sorority stuff, I’ve also been dealing with work hassles. We’re drowning…just drowning. More work than we have bodies (and time). I am catching up…SLOWLY…but I’ve still got a ways to go still. Oh yeah, and my car is dead, too. Don’t even get me started on that. I guess all the trips to the sorority house (in the 800 degree heat) didn’t agree with it. It’s a brand new damned car (as in a 2005 make!) It’s astonishing that something so expensive can be so poorly made. Let’s not start down this road.

I had much more that I wanted to share with all of you, but I can see that this post is already a zillion words long and I can only imagine what you must be thinking (“You can SHUT IT anytime, Jen!”) If you’ve read this far, may warm oatmeal scotchies fall from the sky directly to your waiting plate. And also, if you're one of my friends still awaiting an EMAIL reply (or who just received a long-awaited reply), please accept my apologies and forgive me.

(Oh, before I go...MANY THANKS to my amazing Secret Pal 8, Christine. Thank you for all the wonderful gifts. It was great getting spoiled by you!!! My last gift arrived today. I will get a photo of it tonight and get it uploaded!)

Be well and healthy and happy, dear friends.

The More Things Change...

2006-08-13T12:33:00.000-04:00

Ever notice how the more things change, the more they stay the same? Whoever coined that phrase is a genius.

Hello all. Been a really crazy last few weeks. Yes, I know I always say that when I've not been a faithful bloviator. It is, however, true. Here's a quick run-down of what's been going on in my life. Lots is happening, but it's all lots of the same, if that makes sense. Life stuff, work stuff, family stuff, sorority adviser stuff...stuff abounds.

Family first. All is well on the Smith homefront. Curtis and Erin are both now taking tae kwon do, and it's a RIOT to watch her! She did SO WELL during her first little trial class. I was afraid at first that maybe she was too young. Maybe it would intimidate her, or maybe she might not be able to understand enough to follow along. I was wrong! She was right out there with the bigger kids doing her exercises and running and kicking and punching and forcefully chanting "YES SIR!" when she was given a command! I was so proud. She was such a little ham. It's giving her a solid outlet for her energies while also teaching her a time-honored tradition with lifetimes of history...one that will help her emotionally and physically. Curt took karate when he was younger, and I think he's really enjoying taking it again. I need to get my fat tookus motivated to try this, too. They have a ladies' class. Maybe. We'll see. In the meantime, school starts this Wednesday (where did the summer go?!?!) and "Meet The Teacher Night" is tomorrow. Even though Erin will be having the same teacher again this year, we thought it'd be fun to go and tour her classroom and have some ice cream with the other kids and families. Fall is right around the corner!

And on the topic of fall, classes are starting soon up at the university. The girls moved in to the sorority house this weekend, and I was there most of the day Friday and yesterday afternoon meeting with the officers and watching their recruitment skits. I'm going back later this afternoon for a formal Ritual service. These young women are all very dynamic, and it's wonderful to see a different side of sisterhood. It's been ages since I was a collegian. On my campus, we were a newer chapter (colonized in 1989, and I rushed in 1992). Our campus was a commuter campus in the middle of downtown Indianapolis. We had virtually no support from the university administration, and, by virtue of our young age, we also had very few alumnae to support us. By contrast, this chapter has been around since the 1910's, has a large house, and also has a very strong community of dedicated alumnae. I've been so fortunate to be a part of this amazing sisterhood, and I am so glad now to get the opportunity to work with these younger women and to help them have a more meaningful sorority experience. I'm slowly getting over the whole "are-we-sure-Jen's-the-best-girl-for-the-job?" worry, but I am still somewhat trepidatious. Someone wiser than me once told me that I'd never grow or learn or become a better person if I didn't step outside my comfort zone. Well, I'm out there now, that's for certain.

It's appearing now that the interagency detail that would assist me in being reassigned and spared from any additional BRAC-related trauma won't work out after all. It's a long story, but it basically equates to someone in a very senior position not being supportive of me or of my amazing boss who's trying so hard to help me. I wish I could tell you that I'm surprised, but I'm not. Supporting his people has traditionally not been this director's primary concern. My boss and I gave it a shot, and we'll see. The "no" isn't definitive yet, but it's darned close. In the meantime, there was a GS-0201-09/12 that closed last week (and it involved work in employee relations - woo hoo!), and I put in for it, so we'll see. I'd like to keep my 12, but I'm willing to go down to the GS-11 again. So we'll see. In the meantime, I'll still keep DEU'ing my way along. I've got about four SF-39s waiting for me tomorrow. Jolly.

In the last few months, I've been re-connecting with old friends on MySpace. In the past week, three women that I was very close to in school have found me. It's been really great talking with them and catching up on how life has treated us all and the directions that we've taken. You know, I've talked with you all before about how I've run from certain parts of my past. How I don't like to think about them...talk about them...be even remotely reminded of them. And then there are a few years that were so joy-filled and happy. I suppose I wasn't any different than your average overweight teenager in that I didn't have the highest self-concept and that I just dreaded certain things (i.e., the long walk down the center hallway at my high school, which is where the self-proclaimed "beautiful people" hung out and took every opportunity they had to make fun of anyone who didn't have their good looks or their fathers' fortunes). But I have some absolutely wonderful times and those are forever emblazoned in my memory. Just seeing these old friends again brings back a lot of wonderful memories. It's hard to believe that so much time has passed since our days at Lawrence Central High School. One of my newly-found friends said to me, "Do you realize it's been 20 years since we started at LC?" 20 years. How is that possible? Class of 1990. Wow.

I'm off to find out when "Barnyard" is playing at the AMC Studio 30 in Olathe. Erin's been so excited to see it. Have a wonderful day, everyone.

Baby, It's HOT Outside...

2006-08-06T23:00:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone. Just a quick "catch up post" before heading off to bed. I hope that you've all had a good weekend and that the rains that are slowly cooling off our area will soon provide you a break in the heat as well.

My last bloviation here was somewhat heavy-hearted, I just wanted to say "thank you so much" to all of you who have EMAILed and sent me comments and posts (both here and at MySpace) of support. I am doubly blessed in my life to have wonderful friends and family offline, as well as a beautiful and amazing grouping of online sisters and brothers. Thank you so much, especially to Keri. Sure seems like everytime something reallyreallybad or reallyreallygreat happens and I bloviate about it, Keri's right there to share in the moment and to be a good friend from afar. Thank you, Keri (and everyone else). You simply rock. Period!

It's been a busy weekend. HOT and busy. SCORCHING and busy. SWELTERING and busy. I spent the morning yesterday at the sorority house for "work day" cleaning and generally preparing the house for move-in next week. Already, the challenges are beginning to pour in and I am worried and nervous and excited. The house has no air conditioning (we shut it off for the summer), so just imagine my not-so-skinny self cleaning dirty bedrooms (don't get me STARTED on the bathrooms) in scalding heat with no air. Fun morning! Curtis and I had a date afternoon after a long shower and bout of relaxation, and it was just a nice, albeit STEAMY, night. We kept busy today with a quick day jaunt up to St. Joseph for a family dinner with the parental-units-in-law, and spent the evening outside celebrating the second (!!!) birthday of the daughter of a family friend. We left the party just as the storms rolled in, and I am now typing to you after a VERY LENGTHY shower to wash off the grit and heat of the day. (A note to the folks at Perfect Scents and ZUM...thank you for your deliciously wonderful bath products! I am a clean-smellin' bloggin' babe because of you, and I feel WORLDS better now than I did when I walked through our front door!) Of course, no celebration would be complete without a homemade birthday card, and Miss Ashley's second birthday was no exception:

Stampin' Up products used include the following: stamp sets ("Birthday Best" and "Mini Messages" and the now-retired "Little Layers Plus"), inks (Almost Amethyst, Bordering Blue, Elegant Eggplant, Rose Red, and Summer Sun), cardstock (Almost Amethyst and Pixie Pink), and tags from the alumnimum square tag set. The purple flower brads (which I love), colored pencils, and the glue dots aren't from SU.

OK, off to bed. Early day tomorrow. Have a great night, friends.

At Least You Can't Say I'm Boring...

2006-08-03T20:03:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone. It's been a while and I've got lots to share with you. Hang on for the ride...

This week started out on a topsy-turvy note. Last Sunday as we were starting the week and getting ready for the days ahead, Erin said something completely uncharacteristic and out-of-sorts. She said that she didn't want to go to her daycare. We have had an in-home daycare with a family friend ever since Erin was six weeks old, and this woman and her family (and the children who have gone there with her) are close and are special parts of our extended family. Erin has grown up with these children. She is a very social, very kind, and very loving little girl, and she rarely meets a stranger. Almost instantly when she meets a new little (or not-so-little) person, she struts right up, introduces herself, and starts playing and making a new friend. And she's very close to her daycare provider, so imagine our shock to hear her say that she no longer wanted to go there. Upon pressing her for more information, a story emerged that I was not prepared for. A new little boy (who is eight years old...TWICE ERIN'S AGE) has been "mean" to her. "Mean," as she defines it, includes him telling her to sit in time-out and him saying rude things to her and him "tapping" her tummy (not "hitting" her, but touching her in a manner she does not like). When this news broke, I went off the deep end. And yes, before I continue, I realize that "going off the deep end" is not the proper means by which to handle situations like this. My "deep end"-ery was always kept from Erin, and she saw me simply behave in a loving but direct fashion. We had a talk with her and explained to her that she is a wonderful and lovely child, and that no one has the right to be mean or to touch her in any way that she does not want. And we also told her how to deal with this certain child should he ever again wish to express his pseudo, only-because-he's-older authority. And then I called her daycare provider. I put it to her simply. This is a three-step process. I talk to you, I talk to the child's father, and then I go to the local police department. Boom, boom, and boom, in that order. Her caregiver did explain that the little boy is "just odd" and that he demonstrates strange, attention-seeking behaviors. And she promised to talk to both this child and Erin and to ensure that the situation corrects itself. So far, so good. No more complaints of him being rude or touching her in any manner. And it's a good damned thing, too. I won't hesitate to take any steps necessary to protect my child from being bullied. While I realize that children need to learn how to stand up for themselves and how to reconcile their own proper behaviors against those of a bully, I also realize that my child is only four years old. At this age, she lacks the capacity and the faculties to adequately defend herself from being bullied, especially by a child twice her age. I am not without compassion. Please don't misunderstand. As more details about this child are made clear to me, it's becoming more obvious to me that something's inadequate about his life. He's crying out for attention and is seeking recognition. That breaks my heart, and my prayers are with him. But I will not tolerate another child's poor behavior adversely impacting the health and physical/emotional well-being of my daughter. She will not be forced to suffer because another child has personal issues. Period. I don't think I'm feeling anywhere near "out of sorts" here. It's a natural reaction for a parent to want to protect her child. This little boy is probably not a serious threat. Kids will be kids, and the situation was expediently addressed and rectified. However, I see in myself the capacity to absolutely breathe fire for my little girl. I am not a violent or mean person. I abhor violence. I can't hear about it, I can't watch it on television....I can't surround myself with it in any fashion. But mark my words. If I ever, EVER got wind of anyone laying a finger on her to harm her, so help me God, I'd end that person's life with my own bare hands. Again, I realize that this is normal...every decent parent feels this way about his or her own child. And I realize that the time will come (sooner than I want it to) where I will have to leave Erin to her own devices. She will never learn how to deal with problematic, harmful people if she is not properly exposed to difficult situations and shown the proper manner in which to handle them. However, at the age of four, the "proper manner in which to handle" this situation is for Curtis and I to remove her from its path. And that's what we've done.

All of this hulla-baloo affected me doubly. Not only did I have the fierce, "Mama Bear" reaction, I also had a personal reaction. At the age of 34, I am still unable to get past years of horrible, emotionally violent bullying that I experienced when I was younger. It's a long story and I'll not go in to it here (trust me...you don't want to hear it and I don't want to deal with an evening of torrential tears, and that's exactly what will happen if I walk down that road with you). During a relatively short (but very painful) time in my life, I was subjected to extreme bullying at the hands of children of privilege. I was the only middle-class student at a private, Catholic school. I was also the only fat one...the only not-so-pretty one...and thus, I was an easy mark. My family had some significant personal trauma during one particular year, and that was also the year that the bullying was the worst. And on Monday, as I was dealing with this situation with Erin, I completely collapsed emotionally. The entire trauma of that horrible time came flooding back to me. Years later, I still suffer. I never developed self-esteem, thanks in part to not only the children who harmed me but the adults cognizant of it who stood idly by and let it happen. I am 34, for fuck's sake. The emotional issues I continue to face should be a part of my long-ago. They aren't. I thought and worried about Erin becoming like me, and I actually raised my voice to Curtis (which I never do - we almost never get in heated talks or arguments) and I said, "LOOK AT ME. Is THIS what you want your daughter to become? Overweight, eating disorder, no sense of self-esteem." It was horrible. Not one of my better days. Not by a longshot. As the days have passed, I've come down from that horrible heightened sadness and I am OK again. But it's continued proof of that which I hide and try to bury beneath deadlines and work and schedules and friends and life in general...I still hurt. As long as I don't think about that time or I don't see any of those people, I am just fine. But the second I encounter a memory or a person from that time, oh God, it all just breaks down around me. And that's exactly what happened to me on Monday.

I have issues, but at least you can't say I'm boring.

Today, our team leader retired. In a relatively short time, I've come to know and really, really care for her. It's hard to say farewell, but I am so thrilled for her as she starts this brand new chapter of her life. I used to think that in my field (human resources), hiring new people was the "coolest part." Not any longer. The most wonderful thing we see is people leaving and starting brand new chapters of their lives in retirement. Those we hear from always laugh and say, "I am so busy now! How did I ever find time to work?" And that's a wonderful thing. We had a little luncheon for her yesterday, and our former HR Director came back for it. He's someone EXCEPTIONALLY dear to my heart, and it was beyond wonderful to see him again. He gave me a long and very tight hug, and it felt so good to just see him and laugh with him and be around his energy again. He was definitely a one-of-a-kind. Life is a wonderful thing. God sends people down our pathways that affect and influence us, and whose effects remain part of our spirits years after the woods "good bye" have been uttered.

I may be a little sappy and emotional, but at least you can't say I'm boring.

It's been hotter than Satan's kitchen on fire this week, and wouldn't you know it, the air conditioning in MY BRAND NEW CAR decided that this week would be a fun and exciting time to die. Conk out. Expire. Die. And "die" was what I wanted to do yesterday as I drove all the way from Kansas City to Gardner IN MY HOT AND STUFFY CAR. I had a dinner meeting with another sorority adviser and during dinner, a huge storm blew in. As I walked in the pouring rain and pitch black dark to my car, I got soaked. To the bone. I couldn't see my very black car in the very black darkness, and add my visual inabilities to my haste to get in my car and dry off, and then envision me SMACKING MY FOREHEAD WITH MY CAR DOOR. Yes, I've got a shiner on my noggin above my left eye, boys and girls. Oh, and did I mention that my fucking air conditioner KICKED BACK ON AS I DROVE HOME FROM DINNER?!? Yep, I'm wet and soaked to the bone and it's cold outside and my head hurts like fuck and the air decides to resume functioning. What could possibly BE more delightful?

You could say that my luck sucks ass this week, but at least you can't say I'm boring.

I found something very cool today. I'm practically all caught up at the office (which is NO SMALL FEAT given the fact that I was on leave, got hammered with work, and lost all access to decent and functioning technology, all within two weeks' time), and I got to browsing sites online. I found one that I just absolutely love. It's called BookCrossing (www.bookcrossing.com), and it's basically a worldwide group of people leaving old, already-read books behind for others to discover and read. I've already "set a book free" (to quote my new friends at BookCrossing), and I am really interested in seeing who finds it and how far out into the world it will go.

You can call me a geek, but at least you can't say I'm boring.

And you can also call me "gone." Dinner time. Be well, everyone.

Snarky, Sleepy Jennifer

2006-07-25T22:30:00.000-04:00

Hi guys. Just popping in for a quick second. Hi. How are you? End of pleasantries. :)

Quick JenUpdates(tm) before heading off to LullabyLand(tm). I am a tiiiiired girly. Long day. Here we go:

1. Yesterday's work-evacuation-hullaballoo was thanks in large part to a suspicious package located inside our facility. We in HR knew the skinny early this a.m. because we called and asked. Pathetic, isn't it? Wouldn't one think that the building proper'd have a right to know what in the hell happened yesterday? It wasn't until 1:40-something this afternoon that someone somewhere thought the site worthy of knowing what had actually happened:

-----Original Message-----
From: UsernameDeleted@SuffixDeleted [mailto:NameDeleted@SuffixDeleted]
Sent: Tuesday, July 25, 2006 1:42 PM
To: undisclosed-recipients
Subject: Yesterday's Early Dismissal

SUBJECT FOR E-MAIL: Yesterday's Early Dismissal

Most employees at the NameOfOurBuildingDeleted were sent home early yesterday following a Department of NameDeleted evacuation on the east side of the complex. GSA received notification from the Federal Protective Service at about 3:30 p.m. that NameOfAgencyDeleted was evacuating their Kansas City Plant after a suspicious package was discovered in the office areas of the NameDeleted-operated site. As a precautionary action, GSA and other agencies dismissed their employees for the afternoon.

Kansas City Police, Fire HazMat, the FBI, the ATF and the Bomb Squad all responded to the call. The package was determined to be not dangerous after it was investigated and removed from the premises. The NameOfOurBuilding site resumed normal operations about 5:30 p.m.

According to security personnel, the package met at least three criteria of a potentially dangerous package: it was wrapped in plastic, it included a handwritten address, and it had an oily appearance.

If you find a suspicious package while at work, please do not handle it. Leave the area immediately and contact security. You may also contact the property management office by calling 1-877-RestOfNumberDeleted.

Delicious. At least no one was hurt, thank goodness.

2. I saw a very rough draft today of the inter-agency agreement drafted to swap me from my current agency to the agency I've been telling you about (the we-really-want-Jen-but-can't-afford-her crew). This may just work out after all!

3. Technology did not fail me today at the office and I actually got some work done! Haaaa-lay-LOO-yuh!

4. Erin's swimming lessons went well. I am so proud of my little water blossom! :) She went off the diving board (one teacher was on the board with her, and another was waiting right below to catch her). She also floated on her back and did some lunges and kicks. Yay! I was distracted, however, by a poor, sweet little boy who was terrified and cold and couldn't find his parents. Sometimes, I find myself being VERY opinionated about how other people raise their children and how they allow them to behave. Tonight was absolutely no exception. This little guy was 4, if that. He was in Erin's class (which has 3 teachers), and his parents LEFT HIM. Turned their backs and walked clear to the other side of the pool and JUST LEFT HIM THERE. Well, God love him, the poor little guy was spooked and got out of the water. And they let him stand there screaming for his Mommy and wandering all over the pool area. I was NOT pleased. Whenever I see little ones unattended or who appear to be hurting/scared/sad/in trouble, my "Mommy Gene" immediately kicks in. I looked all around expecting some kind woman to come up and claim her son, but alas, that was not to be. Curtis and I were commenting aloud about this horrible situation, and another Mommy looked at us and said, "I think his Mom went away to see if he'd stay in the water." Well, quite frankly, that's completely unacceptable in my opinion. He was left unsupervised (although there were a TON of parents all watching him in complete shock/horror) and he was SCARED...first of the water and then of being alone and unable to find his parents. While I realize that it's truthfully none of my business how other people raise their children, I just couldn't help but feel badly for the little guy...and like I wanted to choke his parents. Is it me, or was that wrong of them to do that? Your opinions greatly appreciated.

That's it, I think. I am off to bed. Night night folks. :)

In Suspended Animation....

2006-07-24T19:59:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone. What a day it has been.

This afternoon, there was a full-scale, immediate evacuation of our facility. No reasons were given. No explanations. Just "get out...NOW!" It was about 4:00 this afternoon...after many of our folks have headed home for the day. Still, though, we're in a very large Federal building with numerous agencies contained therein. Many people work past 5:00 (some even past 6:00). It was scary and it happened so fast. One of my dear colleagues and I were the only ones left in the office, and she (God love her) is so strong and so solid and stable. Me, on the other hand...what a joke. No courage. No ability to self-reason and believe that, in the absence of any information, that the news wasn't catastrophic. All I could think of was the morning of September 11, 2001. It all came flooding back to me. And so my amazing colleague/friend/sister (who I truly love) kept me calm and got me out of the building. Immediately when we walked out the door, we noticed the helicopter flying over our building and police everywhere. One Federal Police Services officer was on his walkie-talkie discussing the immediate evacuation of the Federal day care center on our little plot of land. That's when my friend looked at me and said, "Something's wrong." My heart was in my throat for what seemed like an eternity as I battled traffic to get back home to Gardner. I thought to myself that surely the radio would let us know of any problems or dangers...any, God forbid, terrorist attacks or violent incidents that may have taken place. No such luck. It was normal Kansas City radio-ish stuff for a 4:00 afternoon....a commercial for Olathe Ford and ZZ Top's "Legs" and a whole lot of verbal bloviations about absolutely nothing. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. The same thing happened on 09/11 as I drove home from work shortly before our site was evacuated and closed (I was pregnant and scared and left before they forced me out). The entire drive, no one said anything on the radio. They played music and commercials like it was nothing. Nothing. Once I got home, CNN and the local news channels had no information for me, either. All of this means, I'm guessing, that everything is OK. Something happened and they needed to get everyone out and so they did. My boss and I were on the phone when the first news of the evacuation came in, and she raised her voice to me and said "GO JEN!" She never raises her voice to me. I knew something was wrong. It's been a few hours now and the freak-out in my spirit is slowly being replaced with calm curiousity, but lemme tellya, I was really freaked out this afternoon. Really. Tonight, I am waiting by the phone for my amazing boss to call with the word on what happened and the decision of the General Services Administration and/or the Kansas City Federal Executive Board regarding working tomorrow. I just hope that everyone is OK and that whatever happened today is minor.

I've not had a technologically happy last several days at work, and during one of my numerous down-times today at the office, I plunked out the below blog post with the thought in mind that I'd upload it tonight and catch all of you up on my life. So here you go...it's in italics below. Enjoy!

Hi everyone,

What’s new and exciting? Hope that the last week has been kinder to all of you than it has been to me. It’s good to actually take a second and b-r-e-a-t-h-e and relax and post. You know, I bet I’d feel a lot better if I’d actually blog out all of my work and other frustrations. I mean, I talk about them with my family and friends, but it always seems to feel so much better when I type the words out. Somehow, things that look so monumentally huge really don’t have that same awful luster when reading about them in the printed word.

The major “bad” thing that has occupied me emotionally and physically in the last seven days is work. Now, when most people complain about work, it’s because they hate what they do, their bosses, their colleagues, their pay, their benefits, etc. etc. ad nauseum. Not me. I love what I do, adore the people I work with, and am better compensated for what I do than I probably deserve to be. No, this week your favorite minty momma was professionally frustrated because of technology. In every conceivable way that technology could have failed me last week, it did. I was already behind after having been gone to Nashville, and there I sat, ready and willing to catch up on old SF-39s and requisitions, yet completely powerless to DO anything. Our amazing systems person was in Indianapolis briefing and assisting the folks there (who actually took over our little DEU while I was in Nashville...long story), and so I had no expert guidance. Try as they may, my local and Indianapolis colleagues tried to help me, but it was for naught. It is exceptionally frustrating to be rendered unable to perform the essential tasks of your position when you are dependent upon an unstable technological resource to accomplish your mission. Technology is supposed to HELP us. You know, to make our lives EASIER and our jobs more EFFICIENT. That was not the case this past week, at least not at the office. The story gets better. Today, our systems person was back with us and she actually had me up and rockin’ and rollin’.......and the entire network shut down. No Resumix. No Oracle. No Internet. No EMAIL. No nothin’. So just as my momentum kicked riiiigght back up, it walked riiiight out the door. Delicious. I guess the good news is that, with the network down, no new SF-39s can come to me! The bad news, however, is that once that network is up, so too will my inbox fill with MORE SF-39s. Work, work go away...come again another day...

Not long ago, I blogged about the former friend from my past who broke my heart and betrayed me by seeing my then-boyfriend behind my back. You won’t believe how this circle has turned. In the last few weeks, she and I have been exchanging EMAILs and talking (against my better judgment and that of several of my dear online friends who have advised me on this matter). What I am finding out about myself here is really interesting. I’m finding that I am better able to let go than I gave myself credit for. For years, I’ve held on to so much anger and hurt and bitterness. I blamed her so much for so many things, and I allowed myself to be resentful and cruel and closed my heart to her. I’ve heard her side of the story in these last several EMAIL exchanges, and I believe her when she apologizes to me for having hurt me. From what she has told me, there were numerous things that neither she nor I knew. Things happened that we weren’t aware of. Life has also dealt her some harsh blows in the years since that cold, horrible Christmas Eve I’ve spoken with you about. Perhaps if I’d actually listened to her all those years ago when she tried to talk to me (versus writing her off as a “bitch and a whore”), the feelings that I carried for her all these years might have been less sharp and poisonous. It’s funny how things affect you...and you’re not even aware of it. Had you asked me then (or hell, even one month ago) what I thought of and how I felt for this woman, the venomous vitriol that I’d have uttered would have surprised you. I didn’t realize that, all those years, some of the personal insecurities that I carried inside my spirit were directly attributed to what she had done to me. Hearing her talk now, I see the beauty of the past...the things that I couldn’t possibly have seen then. The life I have no pales in comparison to the life she has. She’s not happy. She’s lonely. She has no money. Her parents are deceased and her biological sister has nothing to do with her. She loves her family, but she isn’t the same happy, sweet person I remember her being all those years. In all honesty, I feel sorry for her. She made a horrible choice and lost the one person she was closest to in this world (me). I, on the other hand, have this amazing life that I’m still not truly certain I deserve. I have come so far from that horrible time in my life, and I see now that God deliberately assembled the parts and players so that the past could happen exactly as it did. (Anyone else hearing strains of “God blessed the broken road, that led me straaaaight to you....” playing?). It’s amazing how time and experience shape you. I had no idea that it would be this easy to let go. And forgive. Not forget, mind you, but to let go and to not hold tightly to feelings of extreme anger and cruel bitterness. Every negative, horrible feeling that you carry so weighs down your spirit and your soul, even if you don’t realize it. And the freedom that you feel when you let go...that sweet, sweet release, is so amazing. Does all of this mean that I see a place for her in my life? No. Not really. But it’s wonderful to reclaim all of the energy spent hating her and wishing for her to be miserable...and to USE that energy for the wonderful and good things and people in my life. I didn’t know I had it in me to actually forgive. For so many years, I grappled with what the entire concept of “forgiveness” truly meant. I’ve still got lots of learning and growing to do, but I think I’m on my way. I’m going to be just fine.

Let’s see...here are several random bits of JenNews(tm) to entice you:

1. Erin started swimming lessons tonight, and she goes back to school on August 16th. I cannot believe that the summer is almost over. It has really flown by.

2. Speaking of the fall rapidly approaching, life up at the sorority house is about to get crazy-busy as well. I’ve already faced some interesting challenges in this advisory position, and I am still nervous that I’ll be able to handle this and give it and the girls the support they deserve. Am I the right choice for this position? (Fuck, this is very “Broken Record” of me...how many times have I bloviated about this? Can I get a shot of self-esteem and another of courage in my Caramel Macchiato, please?)

3. Certain individuals with whom I have recently reconnected are really, really pissing me off. Truthfully, people. Is it really that fucking hard to click the “REPLY” button and send me a response when I’ve taken time out of my (exceptionally) busy schedule to send you an EMAIL? Don’t want to reconnect with old friends? Stay the hell off Classmates and don’t key in your high school information on your MySpace page. Got it? It’s hurtful! (Christ, that makes me sound exceptionally immature. Oh fucking well.)

4. Remember the interview I had for the position I reallyreallyreally wanted? The one where they didn’t hire me, but said that it was because of budgetary constraints? Guess what? They’re trying like the dickens to get me. Apparently, they’ve tried to scrape the budget barrels of their other departments to no avail, and now they may try to inter-agency detail me so that I could come and work for them until they got final funding and could reassign me. Wow. It sure felt good to know that they really, really wanted me...and that they’d go to so many lengths to make me one of their own. I may just beat this BRAC after all...

5. I’m really looking forward to the August 9th release of “World Trade Center.” The trailer makes me cry every time I see it.

6. I’m absolutely LOVING “Home” by Marc Broussard. Wow, that guy can SING. I can't believe he's only 24. The only way that you could possibly improve on that song (which would be tough) would be for my beautiful Taylor Hicks to sing it.

Grand Ole Jennifer

2006-07-17T22:17:00.000-04:00

Howdy! As promised, here is my bloviated recap of my week in Nashville at our sorority's 49th National Convention. Yee-haw!

This is the second time I've been to Convention, and I am so glad that I went. The last time I went (check out my posts from July of 2004), I was going in a completely different capacity...an alumnae chapter president. They offered good training and networking opportunities with the other alumnae women (some of whom were presidents of their respective chapters and some held other offices). I was really hoping that the same kinds of opportunities would be provided for collegiate chapter advisers. Unfortunately, that did not come to be. I spent the majority of my time along with the other women (collegiate and alumnae alike) in business sessions, learning more about upcoming programming and changes to our Constitution & Bylaws, and I also attended three workshops designed for collegians (one on discipline, one on financial matters, and one on House Corporations). All were interesting and I feel like I've learned more and am smarter than I was a week ago today, but still...I feel horribly unprepared for this whole chapter adviser thing. With recruitment (we called it "sorority rush" in my day) right around the bend, I don't really have much time to wallow in worry. Anyway...where was I...oh yes, Nashville. I met some wonderful new women and got hugs and hellos from sisters I've not seen in two years, which is nice. Our meetings and lodging were in what I'd consider to be "the most spectacular hotel ever constructed" - the Gaylord Opryland Resort & Convention Center. The facility was HUGE. Gorgeous and HUGE. The internal workings made it look and feel like Europe. The balconies overhung (is that a word?) cafe-style restaurants and the whole hotel centered around a very large, lush, gorgeous garden (and numerous waterfalls!) Unfortunately, the photos I took just don't do the facility justice. Their website has photos, but here's one I took on my own:

Gorgeous, isn't it? There were numerous other conferences going on at the same time in the hotel, and the place was just packed. It was nice, though (well, all except for the rotten food and the L-O-N-N-N-N-G walks from my room to the training rooms, but I digress...)

In the evenings, we generally had social time with one another (and let me stress how big "one another" is...there were over 600 sisters there!). On one evening, most of us left the hotel and headed over to the Grand Ole Opry for an evening of music and entertainment. I like country music, I guess, but I had no idea how much I'd enjoy the show. The facility itself is much smaller than I'd imagined, and the grounds were beautiful and the people were very kind. Unfortunately, most of the photos I took didn't come out (please, Santa, bring me a new camera this Christmas!), but here are a few that actually don't look so bad:

When you first step onto the Opry complex, you see the BellSouth Roy Acuff Theater. This is where they broadcast the show "Nashville Star" on the USA cable network.

Not too long thereafter, you'll pass an informational sign about the property:

(An informational sign...now THAT'S a "wow" shot if ever a "wow shot" existed. Simply thrilling!)

And here's the best shot I took the entire time I was in Nashville:

(God, I need a new camera.)

On another evening, we ventured out to the Two Rivers Mansion for a tour and dinner. The home is just gorgeous, and it's easy to see our founders living in a home like that. Our organization was founded in the middle-1850s in Georgia, and it's so easy to see how the three upper-class young ladies that started our sorority could have come from homes like that. At the various meal times, we had a variety of speakers who came to share their inspirational stories with us. Three of whom are sisters as well (Sarah Stone, Mercedes Ramirez-Johnson, and Rikki Ragland). We also met a family whose lives were directly impacted by the philanthropy that we support. It was wonderful to feel like, in some small way, my involvement in this organization impacted this wonderful family. And, too, it was fantastic meeting new sisters and learning more about our organization and one another. It was a good experience. I'm glad to be home, but it was a good experience.

While I was gone, a package from my wonderful Secret Pal came in the mail:

I love my SP8! She sent me lots of yummy yarn (Crystal Palace Deco-Ribbon in "Chocolate Almonds" and the very soft Crystal Palace Musique in "Monet" and some pretty Noro and, my absolute favorite, a YUMMY thuck skein of Billy The Kid in "Petroglyphs"). She also sent me a WONDERFULLY yummy mint foot lotion and a bamboo crochet hook (niiiiice!) and two cute tags ("I Am A Crochet Goddess" and "Got Yarn?") and a Starbucks card (mmmmmmm.....caramel macchiato.....) and two beautiful Austrian crystal charms and some cute Sheep-Fetti! Thank you, SP! You rock! :)

Ohohohoh! I almost forgot! Shelby has asked that all of us in the SP8 game answer a few additional questions to give our Pals more info on what makes us tick. Here we go:

What is your favorite season of the year?
Fall. I love everything about fall...the way the air smells and the colors of the season and the anticipation of the upcoming holiday season...I just love it. Oh, and I adore sweatshirt-and-shorts weather, and fall's the perfect time to pull that off.

Where is your favorite vacation spot?
Well, I'd love to go back to San Diego with my hubby in tow for a romantic getaway. I love San Diego. Love La Jolla. Love it, love it, love it. Until recently, I might have said that an Alaskan cruise would be the perfect vay-cay for us, but given the recent tragedies at sea (illnesses and murders), ummm, no thanks. It'd be fun to take a European trek, too. Paris, London, Rome...wow. Someday, I'll be independently wealthy and I'll be off...

If you could visit any place in the world, where would it be?
Well, I've always wanted to go to Manhattan (New York, not Kansas). I want so badly to go to Ground Zero and pay my respects and see the site. I'm also dying to SHOP IN NEW YORK!!! And take in all of the hot spots. I'd also love to go back to Kaiserslautern and see how much it has changed since I left there to return to Indiana in 1978. I'd also love to visit Australia.

If you could pick any job (and be well-paid), what would it be?
If I could have my own little store (maybe a yarn store or a Greek merchandise store) and be as well-paid as I am in my Federal position, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Or if I could make GS-12 pay selling Southern Living At Home or Stampin' Up products, I'd be all over the idea. I've always wanted to work in a voluntary capacity at a hospital (patient advocate) or teaching adults how to read. Wow, if I could make GS-12 level pay doing that, BAH BYE DoD! (Wait, I thought Jennifer worked here...)

If you were going on vacation for one week, and had to take ONLY ONE project with you, what would it be?
Well, I'm not currently crocheting anything, so you'd think this'd be an easy question to answer. I dunno...maybe I'd start on some Christmas gifts (scarves, mittens, hats, etc.)

If you won a shopping spree to your favorite yarn shop, what would you get?
Well, I'd definitely stock up on Lorna's Laces Shepherd Bulky and Plymouth Baby Alpaca Grande and a complete line of bamboo crochet hooks made by Crystal Palace.

OK - I am off to bed. Have a great Tuesday, everyone!

I'm Home

2006-07-17T07:06:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone. I made it! We got in waaaaay late last night, and I am still recovering as I drag myself in to the office this morning. No sleep for the weary. I will post later (probably tonight) with the full scoop about our Convention. I hope that everyone had a great week.

Yeeeee-HAW!

2006-07-12T08:38:00.000-04:00

Howdy folks. I am heading to Nashville today for our sorority convention. I'll be back Sunday night. Hope that you have a great rest-of-the-week!

Sunday Night

2006-07-09T22:51:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone. I am just passing through for a quick second. Wanted to pop in and say hello and see how you all were doing. It's hard to believe that the weekend is almost over. Monday already. Lovely.

I guess I shouldn't complain. I'm only in the office two days this week. Our sorority's national convention is this week, and I'll be going with two of the collegians at the chapter I'm now advising. I am excited...I love our conventions and it's wonderful to be around all of these sisters from all walks of life and from all parts of the world. And I am really, really hoping that they will be providing the advisers with some in-depth training. So much has changed since I was a collegian. I graduated from college in 1995, for crying out loud. Sometimes I'm still not certain if I can truly handle this! Time will tell.

Before I head out on Wednesday, I'll pop by the Post Office and send off my latest gift for my Secret Pal. Here's a photo:

She likes country music, so I made her a little mix-CD of "Country Classics To Knit By" and I also threw in a little hand-made gift card. I hope she likes her little surprise! (Stampin' Up products used for the gift card include the "Flower Filled" stamp set, Pretty In Pink cardstock, and inks in Ballet Blue, Handsome Hunter, and Rose Red. Oh yeah, I also used the double-circle hole punch and some white organdy ribbon.)

Hey, have you heard the song "Landing In London" by 3 Doors Down? It has absolutely blown me away. I guess it's a year or so old (yeah, Jen's a little slow on the musical uptake), but wowzers, I love it. And it's got Bob Seger...yowza. Bob was on The Bob And Tom Show last week, and he was discussing a new album that he's working on. Can't wait for that. Good stuff, I'm certain.

Off to finish laundry. Night, all.

A JenUpdate(tm)

2006-07-08T11:12:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone. Just have a quick second to post. I am headed off today for an afternoon of shopping and showering! One of my sorority sisters from the alumnae chapter is having a baby shower, and I wanted to post my photos of her card and blanket:

This is the second time I've made "Beth's Little Star Afghan" and it worked out very well. I love this pattern...it's easy, it's pretty, and it's unique. I used a "J" hook and three skeins of TLC Essentials yarn in "Bambi."

And here is her card. Please click on it to see the detail!

Stampin' Up products include cardstock (Almost Amethyst, Pink Passion, and Pretty In Pink), inks (Pale Plum, Pink Passion, and Pretty In Pink), stamp set ("Baby Talk"), buttons (Pale Plum and Pretty In Pink), The Tearing Edge, the double-circle punch, pink gingham ribbon, and Stampin' Dimensionals. The white cardstock and glue dots aren't from SU.

Not much else to share with you. I'm in the final stages of planning and shopping before our sorority convention next week in Nashville and I can't stop listening to Gnarls Barkley's song "Crazy." Damn, that's addictive.

Have a great day, everyone!

2006-07-05T19:32:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone. Just wanted to come by and ask you again if you'd keep my beautiful friend Donna in your prayers. She just recently lost her father, as you know from my previous blog posts, and her family is also facing two additional crises on top of this recent loss. She is very dear to my heart and your prayers and well wishes mean the world to me. Thank you so much.

I made a card for her, of course. You know me. What occasion in my life passes without a homemade card? Here it is. What do you think?

Stampin' Up products used include cardstock (Mellow Moss, Pretty In Pink, and Sahara Sand) and stamp sets ("Friend To Friend" and "Mini Messages") and ink (the now retired Forest Foliage) and accessories (pink gingham ribbon, Mellow Moss eyelets, the 1 1/4" square punch, The Tearing Edge, and Stampin' Dimensionals). The pink ink, "With Love" metal tag, and curvy scissors aren't from SU.

Hope everyone is doing well. We're about two days closer to Friday, and that's a good thing!

God Bless America

2006-07-04T12:20:00.000-04:00

Myspace Layouts

Happy Independence Day, friends. Please remember to keep our country and our servicemen and women in your thoughts and prayers today. How blessed we are to live where we live and to have the amazing freedoms and securities that we do.

Return Of The Big-Fat-Fucking-Favor

2006-06-30T20:38:00.000-04:00

(I'll tellya straight up, folks - this is gonna be a LONG post. Please grab a chair and a cold drink because you'll be here a while.)

Happy Friday, people! I can't believe that it's almost the 4th of July already. It's odd...it seems like more and more, I find myself saying "I can't believe it's already XYZ" and feeling like time is just flying by me. Is this a sign of age? Am I getting old? I feel old. So, so old. Just last night, I re-connected with yet another dear old friend from high school, who has three (!!!) daughters, the oldest of which is 13! THIRTEEN! How is it humanly possible that we are old enough to have THIRTEEN YEAR OLD CHILDREN?! Where did the years go? I swear, it feels just like yesterday that I was staying late for drama rehearsals with Dave and Sean (who, I hope, read this entry) and tooling around in my yellow Chevette (remember that, Dave?) and hanging out at "Rocky" on the weekends (someone pass me the toilet paper, please!!!)

OK...on to a more serious topic. I need your help with something. One of my not-so-fond memories of yesteryear has come back to bite me square in the ass, and now the ball is in my court regarding what to do next. For many years in grade school and throughout all of high school, I was very close to a girl one year younger than me. We went to the same elementary school, and although we went to separate high schools, we were together all the time and were always on the phone when we weren't physically together. She never missed a play that I was in. She came to visit me when I had surgery, and I remember her washing my hair for me after I got home. My surgery was ovarian and I couldn't bend and I had a hard time moving. She was always a part of whatever and wherever I was throughout high school. And then college happened...

...I'll skip the gory details and cut straight to the chase. I didn't have a lot of luck with the fellas in high school, and so my first college boyfriend, well, he was just everything to me. He had his share (and then some) of problems, and the relationship was unhealthy, at best. The emotional abuse I suffered at his hands was terrible, and I fed all of that to my friend...my trusty companion upon whom I depended and who knew all of my secrets. The boyfriend and I were having yet another shaky period, and I found out via mutual friends that he and my friend were spending a lot of time together...a LOT of time together...as in overnights and very physical time (i.e., always seeming to hug or touch somehow). I was blessed to have such amazing friends who wanted me to know the truth...who wanted me to be shielded from the pain of deception, but who also wanted me to know the truth. I confronted them both around the Thanksgiving time period, and they both looked me in the eye and denied any wrongdoing. Flash forward one month to Christmas Eve and envision she and I alone in a rusty spoon restaurant. And me crying and in sheer amazement as she confides in me that she and he are "in love" and that they are now starting a life together. That was Christmas Eve, 1991.

In the years that followed, she made numerous attempts to contact me. She'd EMAIL me directly. She'd send letters to my parents. You name it. And then she fell off the face of the planet. I've blogged about her before (she's on my "100 Things About Jen" post), but I never really sought her out to put to rest all of the sadness and heartbreak. Well, she sought me out last night, and in my ongoing quest to become a sane adult, I actually responded to her EMAIL. Here's the basic premise of the EMAIL traffic so far:

HER: Hi...it's been a while...so sorry that I hurt you...I hope you will respond to me but I understand if you don't...I pray for you and think of you often...I have lots to say to you...etc. etc.

ME: Yep, it's been a spell...I am just fine and happy...thanks for the well wishes...say whatever it is that you feel needs to be said...etc. etc.

HER: I am so sorry...but you hurt me too...I didn't sleep with him while you two were together...we are married and have two kids...are you happy and healthy....hope so...I can understand if you don't apologize, but I wanted you to know that you hurt me, too...etc. ad nauseum.

And herein lies my dilemma. I don't really feel I owe her an apology. OK, I will admit that I was a complete bitch to and about her after all of this broke. I referred to her in some very unsavory terms (you can figure those out for yourselves, I'm certain). Did I tell people that she slept with my boyfriend? You betcha. Did I probably embellish a little more than necessary when re-canting this story to friends and passers-by? Probably. But I did truly feel that she betrayed me. The guy, well, he was no big hoo-ra. And, in truth, she did me a big, fat, fucking favor by removing me from his path. I can't even imagine how horrible my life with him would be today. But still...the fact remains that someone I shared my heart and life with...someone who saw me at my most vulnerable on NUMEROUS occasions...someone who had complete and total access to me would do what she did. If you've seen the horrible movie "Closer," you may remember a scene between the amazing Natalie Portman and Jude Law. He tells her that he loves someone else, and she says something to the effect of, "There is always a point. Yes, you can't control who you fall in love with. But there is always a point...a point where you see yourself heading in a certain direction and you choose whether or not the path continues." And I felt then and truly feel today that that is true. In hindsight, she did me a favor. I have an amazing life...one I sometimes still wonder if I truly deserve, but for which I am grateful with every beat of my heart. Forgiveness for me is a difficult concept to embrace. As a 34-year-old Catholic, you'd think I'd have this one down pat. Not even close. Is it possible to forgive...to wish no ill will and to want no harm to come to the other individual...but to also view the person as nonexistent? I can't ever be her friend again. How could I ever trust her to be an intimate part of my life again? But is it truly possible to part with the hurt and the anger and to just view someone as blank? As clear? As transparent? As invisible? Or is that true forgiveness?

(Oh yeah, and I'm not sorry I said what I said to and about her...not sure how to deal with that one, either.)

Prayer Request

2006-06-28T22:07:00.000-04:00

Hello dear friends. The other day, I asked that you keep my friend Donna and her family in your prayers. Her father was gravely ill. I got word today that he passed away late last night. If you would, please continue to keep Donna and her family in your prayers. She is a dear, dear friend to me, and your prayers would mean the absolute world to me. Thank you.

Disappointed And Disgusted

2006-06-26T20:58:00.000-04:00

Now aren't those fun adjectives to describe your favorite Jen De Menthe? Woo hoo, we're talkin' full fledged barrels-o'-laughter here, folks.

I found out today that I didn't get the other job that I applied for. The one I interviewed for earlier this month. I am disappointed, to say the very least, but nowhere near as unhappy as I was last week when I learned that I didn't get the other job that I'd applied for. In today's case, the selecting official was responsive and kind and basically said without saying that she wanted me and that I would have been a fantastic fit for their agency, but that the "Budget Gods" (the exact words that she used) weren't kind and that their funding for their two vacant positions was pulled. I feel so good about this experience for numerous reasons. One, they liked me and I fit in...and I finally felt for the first time since all of this BRAC hoo-ha started that I might actually be OK someplace else. They were kind and friendly and welcoming and they really seemed to enjoy having me. I felt comfortable and like I could actually find a new "home" there. Later, two people sent me EMAILs that had come to them about me from the folks who had interviewed me...and the consistent message in both was that I was well-liked and that I'd interviewed very well and that I was wanted. So that makes me feel worlds better than I did last week. And also, there's the sheer fact that this agency extended both my boss and I the professional (and HUMAN!) courtesy of an answer without our having to (continually!!!) seek one out. Although I am very disappointed that I didn't get this position, I feel confident in both myself (I did it! They liked me!) and in them (that if, perhaps, the Budget Gods do smile upon them, that a job might be right there waiting for me). I guess it just wasn't meant to be right now. Looks like my place is, at least for now anyway, writing crediting plans, adjudicating Veterans' Preference, and rating and ranking applicants in our tiny DEU. And, truthfully, that's not such a bad place to be.

So I'm driving down my residential street tonight and I noticed two strange figures trifling through the trash on my neighbor's curb. Now, this is a family neighborhood. Upper-middle-class. Lots of little ones, mostly complete nuclear families, and almost everyone Christian or Catholic. So for two shady, unkempt hoodlums to be rummaging through garbage is, well, a bit odd and out-of-sorts for our little 'hood. And so I stopped dead in the middle of the street and watched them (smart, yes, I know)...and they stopped and watched me looking at them. ("Hey Abbott, who's on first?") And I sat right there in the middle of the street staring at them and dialed my neighbors on my cell phone. No answer. So I called the Police. Before the kind, patient officer got here, the hoodlums made off with FOUR bags of trash. My neighbor finally connected with me, and explained that the bags consisted mainly of toys her son had outgrown. Just to be on the safe side, she's calling the bank and her utilities and the credit card companies tonight. Smart move. Yuck. How disgusting. What kind of low-life does this? Takes all kinds to make a world...

That's all from my end of the planet. Actually, that's a lie. Please keep my friend Donna's father in your prayers. He's been ill for a while now and has taken a turn for the worst in the past 48 hours. Please also join me in wishing my friend (and former Secret Pal) Shelby a happy birthday!

Jen, The Crocheting-Almost Jobless-Sorority Nerd

2006-06-25T11:15:00.000-04:00

Hell-llo. :) Just posting a quick lil' blurb to say hello and to catch everyone up on "The Life And Times Of Jen." Hope that you're all doing well. Hard to believe that we're coming up on the start of July already. It still feels like Christmas was just yesterday.

It's been an interesting week. Mostly good, I'm happy to say. As you know, our agency is closing because of the Base Realignment and Closure (we call it "BRAC"), and it has really thrown all of us into a tizzy. I have said to you many times that the stress of losing your job and the familiarity of your surroundings has been exceptionally difficult on all of us. Although the sadness and shock diminish as time goes forward, the worry about what's-to-come is still ever-present. I had what I consider a set-back this week in my ongoing quest to become a professional adult capable of surviving outside my current agency. Back in March, I interviewed with another Federal agency who will remain nameless, but I will say that these are the very senior folks who are looked to by the others in my field to set the example for how to conduct professional business...does that help you figure out who they are? Anyway, I did very well, or so I thought. I also wrote for them an excellent essay (or, um, so I thought). Yes, they put me in front of a computer and made me type out an essay after they interviewed me. I did what they told me to do (which was to send an EMAIL one week afterward to follow-up), and after what's now been three months of occasional follow-ups (me to them) and little to no response from them, I finally learned that I was not hired. So much about that entire situation upset me. I was an excellent candidate, and I really wanted to work there. And that ugly, vicious voice at the back of my mind still occasionally hisses at me that I won't beat the BRAC...that I'll be there until the end and until they close the door after forcefully kicking my rumpus through it. This agency had previously made it abundantly clear, both to my boss and to me, that they wanted to move out immediately on non-competitive hires (i.e., reassignments from other agencies, etc.), and yet they waited and kept me deliberately ignorant and hopeful only to lower a boom on me. A boom, might I mention, that I had to ask for....I'd still be "deliberately ignorant and hopeful" had I not sent yet another follow-up EMAIL this week. That's the part, I think, that makes me the angriest. In truth, I really want the job I interviewed for earlier this month. It's in the same building and is also a Federal job, but it's with a totally different agency. So, truthfully, perhaps the first agency's done me a favor by not hiring me. But it's absolutely awful to be kept "deliberately ignorant and hopeful" and to receive absolutely no feedback regarding a potential position...period. Especially when they knew I wanted the job there so badly...and that I am losing my job because of the BRAC.

Not two seconds after I read the "thanks-but-no-thanks" EMAIL from that agency, I took the "phone call of death" in my office. This week, our clerical assistant has been on vacation, so the four specialists are all taking turns answering the phone. Well, whoo-the-hell-hoo, am I glad I took this call. I'll spare you the gory details, but I'll say that more than once, she'd been talked to and helped by my colleagues. Apparently, she was displeased with their assistance, and chose me as her scapegoat. After thirty minutes of her continual interruptions (as I'd try to explain things to her) and her never-ending cruel remarks about my colleagues, I raised my voice to her and said, "NameDeleted, this conversation is over," and I hung up the phone. I was furious. And she called back, believe it or not....TWICE! And she got hung up on AGAIN. Later, we laughed about it as an office and it really helped to diffuse the situation, but good grief, I was mad. Perhaps had her timing been somewhat different, I wouldn't have been so pissed off by the way she behaved. But boy, was I mad. And when I get angry like that, it just exhausts me. It took me all the energy I had just to stay awake and make it through the day.

This weekend, I'm doing a ton of "sorority adviser" stuff. Housemom interviews yesterday and meetings today. I'm keeping busy and becoming more active in this new role. It's exciting. I'm telling you, most of the people I knew from high school would probably be absolutely astonished if they knew that I joined a sorority. I just really wasn't the "type." I'm extroverted, sure, but not rail-skinny and supermodel-gorgeous like the stereotypical sorority girl. It's been a wonderful experience and I am so, so glad I did it. And I'm excited to have this new opportunity to work with collegians and help them and support them in their endeavors. Jen, the sorority nerd.

Two other reasons I've not been online as much lately involve a new blanket I'm crocheting and a new series of books I've discovered. Most of my office is addicted to the Janet Evanovich series about Stephanie Plum, a young female bounty hunter who seemingly has interesting experience after interesting experience. The girls at work have gotten me hooked on these books! Hooked, I tell you! And on the topic of "hook"-ed, I'm working furiously on another Beth's Little Star Afghan in the hopes of having it ready for an early July baby shower for a sorority sister. I'll post photos as soon as it's done.

Off to get ready for my sorority meeting. Have a great day, folks.

BusyBusyBusy!

2006-06-21T20:58:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone. Yes, I am still alive! Just swamped these past few days. Sorry that I've been so out of the InfoLoop(tm). Hope that you're all doing well and having a fantastic week!

(Oh yeah, Taylor's new CD single will debut tomorrow at NUMBER ONE over at the Billboard Hot 100. Is that not the BEST news?! Still so happy and so in love with the guy. Yowza. Just yowza.)

Sinus-y And Sleep-y

2006-06-14T00:12:00.000-04:00

Hi guys. Greetings from the land of "Seasonal Sinus Suffering." Yes indeedy, your favorite mint maiden has the makings of what promises to bet yet another fun-and-exciting sinus infection. AND IT'S ONLY JUNE. The damned season's just started! Grrr. This morning, I felt like my head was an empty bathtub just-a-fillin' with torrential waters and preparin' for an overflow. Yuck. I took the day off and relaxed at home (somehow catching up on daytime TV snuggled up to my sweet little Boston Terrier allllways is the medicine that helps me). The good news is that my day of relaxation, coupled with my intense consumption of over-the-counter drugs, has rendered me feeling somewhat more human. The bad news is that by being out of commission today, I was not able to be among the first in the greater Kansas City area to buy my beautiful Taylor's first post-Idol CD. I've got a busy night after work tomorrow (I am helping next year's alumnae chapter President get her affairs in order and train her new Executive Board), but our meeting place is close to a local big-name bookstore, so I plan to pop by there on the way home and snag a copy. I am so thrilled for Taylor. Wow. Still "proud" of him and still mega-super-crazy about him. WHERE WAS HE WHEN I WAS SINGLE?

I've got some more card uploads to share with you! Please remember to click on the photos. The images here are all clickable, and you'll get better detail and clarity when you blow these up and make 'em bigger...

Yes, I know it's not easy to make out the full detail on this one. Sorry - the damned digital camera and I weren't on the best of terms when I shot this one. This is the card I made for last weekend's wedding of my hubby's cousin and his new lovely wife. Stampin' Up products used include cardstock (Almost Amethyst, Elegant Eggplant, and Pretty In Pink), ink (Pixie Pink), Stampin' Dimensionals, and the white organdy ribbon. The hearts were cut out using a die from my Sizzix machine, and the "Congratulations" stamp (which is hard to make out in this shot) isn't from SU. Also, the ridged medium-purple cardstock (on which the word "Congratulations" is stamped) isn't from SU, either. It's one of those ridge-y papers that looks awesome but doesn't handle ink well at ALL. :( I guess they are more for textured effects than anything else.

A work friend recently lost her mother, and here are shots of the card I made for her:

SU products used: cardstock (Almost Amethyst, Sahara Sand, and the now retired Mint Melody), inks (Eggplant Envy and Mint Melody, both of which are now retired), stamp sets ("Little Layers Plus" outside and "Paris In The Spring" inside), eyelets (Pretty In Pink), Stampin' Dimensionals, buttons (Pale Plum, inside), and white organdy ribbon. The cream-colored cardstock and the mini glue dots aren't from SU.

And finally, here are the Father's Day cards Erin and I made for my father. (We're posting these now since we had to get them off in the mail in order for him to receive them in Indy by Sunday. Photos of our cards for Curt's father and for Curt will come later):

Creamy Caramel cardstock from Stampin' Up is the base for both cards. On mine, I also used SU cardstock in Bliss Blue, Brilliant Blue, and Sahara Sand. Other SU products used on my card include two now-retired stamp sets ("God Bless America" and "Monkey Business"), The Tearing Edge, the crimper, and Stampin' Dimensionals, The markers, star eyelets, and glue dots aren't from SU. Erin borrowed Mommy's SU "Little Layers Plus" set, along with her SU "Pixie Pink" and (now retired" "Elegant Eggplant" inks for her card. The colored pencils she used aren't from SU.

OK, I am off for a hot, sexy date with my Nyquil and my pillows. Goodnight, folks.

Still Proud, Still Busy, Still Minty...

2006-06-12T19:50:00.000-04:00

Hi guys. Howya be?

It's been a busy last several days for your favorite minty momma. This past weekend, Curt's cousin got married in Nebraska, and we made the trek out and back to celebrate the day. His family is really wonderful, and it's nice to be a part of that. I had always hoped and prayed when I was a single gal that I'd one day fit in with the family of whatever-guy-crazy-enough-to-marry-me, and I am so blessed to have done that with these people. His family is from a very small town, and with each visit we make out there, I'm finding that I really enjoy the small-town diversion from the big city. (And yes, I realize, before anyone points out the glaringly obvious, that Gardner is a small town. However, I work in a major metropolitan city and am constantly in it and the other surrounding major cities for shopping, dining, and life proper.) OK...where was I....? Oh yeah, Curt's family. Just good people all around. And the wedding was gorgeous and the reception was fun and it was nice to see everyone again. Many blessings to Jeremy and Katie for years together of love and joy and happiness!

(I haven't uploaded the photo I took of their card yet...will do that and post it ASAP.)

I had a job interview today! I still haven't heard from ThatOtherPlace (you know...the one where I interviewed in March), even though they were so chomping at the bit (or so they said) to make immediate hires. Well, I've really been slacking off on the job hunt, truthfully. I guess I was just hoping that this other agency would call me and happy working in my DEU, so I figured (I guess) that I'd just wait it out. Then, from seemingly nowhere, an amazing opportunity fell right into my lap. Someone from another local Feddy agency asked my boss if she knew of anyone at the GS-12 level in the HR field who was a skilled generalist, knew all of the HR areas (staffing, classification, training, employee relations, and labor relations), and willing to take an immediate transfer. This was, oh, last Thursday. All day Friday, the buzz around my office was about this new opportunity. Come to find out, one of the women who interviewed me today is a sorority sister of another woman I used to work with...and she gave her a glowing review. All in all, the interview went VERY well, and I was so pleased and happy with it all. The ladies who spoke with me were very nice, and I think I answered all of their questions well. So keep your fingers crossed for me, dear friends. Here's hoping that I can beat the BRAC before it beats me.

Taylor's new CD comes out tomorrow! Our friends over at K-JO 105.5 played "Do I Make You Proud?" on the drive home tonight. What a beautiful version of the song! Can't wait to get my grubby little mitts on a copy of this tomorrow. I'm still proud, still in love with Taylor, and still "Soul Patrol-ling." Where was he when I was single...?

Still no news on the final decision regarding me becoming the chapter adviser at our local collegiate chapter. Apparently there are still a few checks-and-balances that need to be checked-and-balanced. So we'll see. I am going up to the house this weekend to help interview potential house mothers, so that's good. They wouldn't have asked me to come if they didn't think I'd make the final cut. I'm still not sure that I can do this, but I am learning that every time I step outside my comfort zone, I come away the better and the stronger for it. I hope that that will be the case again this time.

My House Of Cards

2006-06-06T20:56:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone. Not gonna stay long, but I wanted to post up a few new photos for your visual stimulation and enjoyment (ooh la la!)

Here are some of my newest card creations! (Remember, you can click on the photo and get a larger view!)

A sorority sister of mine, Lucy, graduated from Baker University on May 21st (see how long it's been since I've posted?!) and here is the front of the card I made for her:

Stampin' Up products used include the following: cardstock (Pixie Pink and the now-retired Mint Melody), inks (Handsome Hunter and Pink Passion), stamp set (the soon-to-retire "Little Layers Plus"), eyelets (in Mellow Moss and Pretty In Pink), Stampin' Dimensionals, and the crimper. The cream-colored cardstock, glue dots, and the beautiful stick-on rose letters aren't from SU.

And here's the inside:

The "Congratulations" stamp, black ink, glue dots, and silver brad aren't from SU.

Yesterday, I posted a photo of the three wonderful gifts my new Secret Pal sent to me via our friends over at amazon.com. Her name and address were on the packing slip, so unfortunately, the secret is revealed. That's OK! I couldn't resist the urge to make a card for her to thank her for her kindness. I hope she likes it, and that she knows how much I love her gifts! Here's the card:

SU products used include cardstock (Almost Amethyst, Elegant Eggplant, Regal Rose, and Sahara Sand), stamp set ("Alphabet Soup"), pink gingham ribbon, buttons (Pale Plum), Stampin' Dimensionals, and The Tearing Edge. The glue dots and markers aren't from SU. I used my Sizzix die-cutter to shape the hearts.

On the topic of "thank-yous," my boss' husband did a major favor for my family today, and here's the card I made to thank him. I sure hope he knows how much we appreciate him!

SU products used include cardstock (Bravo Burgundy and Sahara Sand), stamp set ("Alphabet Soup"...can't tell that I love that set, can ya?), ink (Bravo Burgundy), and buttons (Ballet Blue, Handsome Hunter, and Night Of Navy). The glue dots and silver brad aren't from SU.

And here's a card I made for the SP that I'm spoiling. I've been awful about getting gifts out to her! Grrr! I need to s-l-o-w d-o-w-n!

I used the following SU products: cardstock (Creamy Caramel and Sahara Sand), stamp set ("Farm Fresh," which is now retired), The Tearing Edge, Stampin' Dimensionals, and the Versamark pad. The markers are from a local craft store.

I'm also nearly finished with a card for Curt's cousin Jeremy and his bride-to-be, who will take their vows this weekend in Nebraska. I'll try to get that posted before we leave for the big ceremony on Friday.

OK, I am off for a late dinner. Have a great one, folks!

THANK YOU, My New SP!!

2006-06-05T23:07:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone. Just have time to pop by real quick-like, but I wanted to check in and say hi ("Hi!") and to post a photo of three amazing gifts I just received from my new Secret Pal!

Thanks, SP!!!! You rock!

Yes, You Make Me Proud...

2006-05-24T22:31:00.000-04:00

What started as an absolutely horrible and rotten day has ended beautifully. Tonight, my beautiful little pre-schooler sang as part of her class at an end-of-the-year potluck, and I got the chance to see my amazing little one shine in public. She's always been my shining star, but tonight, her little star shone for the whole world to see. She brings me so much joy and so much pride, and there are absolutely not the words to tell you how much I love her and how much she has changed and impacted my heart and my life...for the better. For the much better.

It's no secret to those of you who read my blog and who know me personally that music is a huge, huge part of my heart. I've been a singer, however informally and unprofessionally, ever since I could breathe. I can't ever remember a time where music didn't impact me...define me...surround me...comfort me. That love of music has seen me through incredibly difficult times and the songs that have served as the soundtrack of my memories forever resonate inside me, reminding me of those times and whatever emotions I was experiencing at those particular moments of long ago. Maybe it's because I love music so much (and curse myself for never having given myself a chance to explore it professionally) that has led me to love "American Idol" so much. In all honesty, several seasons of the show went by before I even cared. But I fell head over heels for Bo Bice last year and, well, the bug had bitten. I followed this season's auditions, performances, and contestants from the start until tonight's amazing finish, and from the start, the Soul Patrolman Taylor Hicks held my heart. And tonight, he won. He won. He won! A new friend (and fellow Kansas Soul Patrolwoman) and I were talking last night in between frantic phone votes and I had a thought. Today, we are a public so incredibly thirsty for joy. For laughter. For happiness. For a departure, however momentary, from the sadness and hurt that so plague our world. There's not a day that goes by when the news isn't filled with the anger and violence of the world...where warring factions and cruel people harm the innocent and rob the world of joy and hope. Along from seemingly nowhere came a gray-haired spirit full of love and joy whose sole hope was to make people happy...to spread a little love and joy through his God-given gift of music. And that's exactly what he has done. Taylor Hicks, you have made me so proud. Proud to be your fan. Proud to be a fellow music lover and singer. Proud to believe in hope and love. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing the gifts of your love, joy, and soul with us.

I'm off to chat with my fellow Soul Patrollers at MySpace. Have a great night, everyone.

"Georgia On My Mind..."

2006-05-16T17:33:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone. Greetings from the land of sinus infections (Curtis), gimpy-ness (me), and cold, un-May weather. I stayed home today, partly to take care of my poor husband, and partially (moreso-ly, if that's a word) to take care of myself. I fell over the weekend (and yes, I know I failed to mention it to you) and I limped all day yesterday. All around that H-U-G-E building where I work. Plus, I had to be on it for most of the morning, as I was in-processing our new folks (a job another HR Specialist handles, but she is serving jury duty this week). This morning, both my foot and my calf were swollen and I could hardly walk. My calf is SO stiff, probably because I favored my foot all day yesterday and didn't walk properly. I figured it was probably better to stay home today and stay off my foot. I have three certs on my desk to handle when I get back. I so wish they'd let us have access to Resumix from home....(oh well).

So anyway, something's on my mind and I'd like to bloviate about it. My faithful readers know that I'm a huge sorority geek. I've never mentioned here what organization I belong to, but I'll simply tell you that it's one of the older organizations in the National Panhellenic Conference. As a collegian, I was involved in my chapter, but it was truly not the experience I'd hoped it'd be. That's a boring bloviation for another rainy day. But once I moved here to the KC area, I got VERY involved in sorority alumnae life. I spent a year as our KC alumnae chapter's Secretary, and three as its President (I just inducted our new President a few weeks back). I've been to Leadership Conference and to a National Convention. I love our organization and have loved every (well, almost every) second of the leadership roles I've played. I've also always wanted to serve as a National or Area Officer within my organization. I've given a lot to our chapter and, although I was sad to pass the baton on to our new alumnae President, I was somewhat excited as well...excited to come to meetings, pay dues, help out with the local collegians, make baked goods and work to benefit our local philanthropy, etc. ad nauseum. Well, it appears that my absence from Greekery might just be short lived. Within a very short period of time, some significant buzz surrounded me and the possibility of my becoming the new chapter adviser for a local collegiate chapter. I've been mulling it over and giving it a lot of thought, and then last night, I had a long talk with one of our Area Officers. She was wonderful, and made me feel both smarter and confident about this adviser-ship. To say that I am honored to even be considered is a huge, huge understatement. I love our organization and love that chapter. They aren't my chapter of initiation (that's back in Indy), but they have been over-the-top welcoming and amazing and our alumnae chapter has truly, truly enjoyed being with and sharing sisterhood with them. So why, then, am I so conflicted? Do I want to do this? Absolutely. You bet. Without a doubt. But I think I just feel like I'm not the best person for the job. It's been ages (aaaaaaages) since I was a collegian. I don't even remember what all my adviser did, and I'm sure the rules and requirements have changed significantly since 1995 (when I graduated). The Area Officer that I spoke with last night really educated me on what the job entails, and truthfully, she believes that being an alumnae chapter President is more time consuming and difficult. I handled that just well and had a fantastic time doing so (and hell, we even got the "Honorable Mention" for "Outstanding Alumnae Chapter," so I can't be all bad). But I am so afraid that I won't give those young women what they need. Hell, what do they need? What does it take today to lead a houseful of women (and yes, they have a house) and support them and give them the leadership and guidance they need? Adult alumnae chapters, I can handle. Collegians, I'm not so sure. I want to do this so badly. I guess I just need someone to tell me that I can do it...that I can lead and set a good example and be a strong support for them. I want to do this so, so badly. And I'm scared to say "yes" and fowl it up. And scared to say "no" and lose out on this opportunity to continue to lead and be involved in my organization.

Christ, self-doubt is SUCH a mother-fucker.

It's Tuesday, and that means it's "American Idol" night here Chez Mintlipgloss. Last week, I downloaded an old version of Taylor Hicks performing "Georgia On My Mind" in his pre-"Idol" days. It's one of my all-time favorite songs, and given that and (a) that it's Tuesday and (b) that my sorority and Georgia have a special history, I thought it a fitting title for today's blog entry. Please remember to watch "Idol" tonight and to vote for our wonderful Soul Patrolman.

(Oh, and please send prayers for Curt's recovery and my abandonment of my insecurities. Merci tres beaucoup.)

W-i-i-i-i-i-r-e-d!

2006-05-15T00:33:00.000-04:00

OK, so it's 11:31 in the p.m. on a Sunday night before a VERY early day at the office tomorrow (I have to in-process new employees tomorrow because the person usually responsible for doing that has jury duty), but I canNOT sleep. Maybe it's the excitement of the day (or all the caffeine I enjoyed during the Mothers' Day festivities). Anyway, I thought I'd go ahead and punch out a card for my new Secret Pal. Yep, it's SP time again. I am so excited to be meeting a new Pal and spoiling her rotten. It's really been fun being involved in the past SPs and meeting new people (and spoiling them and being spoiled BY them!) Anyway, here's the introductory card I'll be sending her tomorrow....just to say "hi" and "can't wait to get to know you." I hope she likes it!

Stampin' Up products used include the following: stamp sets ("Birthday Best" and "Sincere Salutations" on the outside and "Paris In The Spring" on the inside) and cardstock (Pixie Pink and Pretty In Pink) and pink gingham ribbon (outside) and buttons (Mellow Moss and Pretty In Pink, also outside) and The Tearing Edge (both in- and outside). The glue dots, markers, brads, and white cardstock aren't from SU. I used my Sizzix machine to cut out the tag die.

I hope she will like it! Now, what shall I get for her as a first gift...?

Happy Moms' Day!

2006-05-14T21:57:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone, and a very special HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY to all of you who are moms (and grandmoms!) I just wanted to pop by real quick-like to say hello and to wish all of our mommas well today. It's been a long day (story to follow) and I've got to be in way early tomorrow, so I'm a-gonna post and a-gonna sleep. :)

We spent the day in Easton, Missouri at the home of Curt's grandmother and grandfather. She has been ill and frail (I've blogged about her before) and it was wonderful to see her. Their beautiful home was filled with family (SIXTEEN of us! Curt, me, Erin, his parents, his grandparents, his aunt and uncle, a cousin, her husband, and their two kids...oh, and Curt's brother, Jeff and of course, Grandma and Grandpa). It was wonderful being together, and I am so honored to be a part of their family. When, as a single gal, I'd dream of "my future husband," I'd always dream that his family would adopt me as "their daughter" and that I'd be close and have loving relationships with my "in-laws." I am blessed in that my wish has come true. It was just a wonderful day. I was well pampered (a new craft desk, a gift certificate to Mario Tricoci, and gorgeous earthenware candleholders from Yankee Candle and a beautiful homemade card from Erin and beautiful flowers from my parents-in-law....gift from my parents is still forthcoming). It was just a nice day.

Of course, I made cards for mom and mom-in-law, but this time, I had a little help from an apprentice card-a-teer, Erin! Here are photos of the cards she made for her grandmoms:

I was so, so proud of Erin. She made these cards all by herself! (Well, I helped juuust slightly!) She chose to use Mommy's Stampin' Up cardstock (in Pretty In Pink) and stamp sets ("Birthday Best" and "Happy Hearts") and inks (Eggplant Envy and Pink Passion) and the heating gun. Non-SU products used include the clear Versamark pad and what was quite possibly the world's most messy and difficult glitter! Both grandmoms loved their cards, and I was so proud of how well Erin had done. (She was, too!)

And here are the cards from Curtis and I:

SU products used include stamp sets ("Mini Messages" and "Sincere Salutations") and cardstock (Almost Amethyst, Certainly Celery, and Pretty In Pink), ink (Pink Passion), square punches (1 1/4" and 1 3/8"), Stampin' Dimensionals, buttons (Pretty In Pink), The Tearing Edge, and the heating gun. Non-SU products used include green and pink Versamark pads, brads, glitter, glue dots, and the amber-colored cardstock.

(and yes, that is my handwriting!)

And on the topic of moms, I told you the other day that a sorority sister of mine and her husband recently adopted a beautiful baby girl. Here is the congratulatory card I made for her:

SU products used include: cardstock (Pixie Pink and Pretty In Pink), stamp set ("Baby Talk"), Stampin' Dimensionals, pink gingham ribbon, and The Tearing Edge. The markers, flower brads, cream cardstock, curvy scissors, and mini-glue-dots aren't from SU.

And with that, I bid you a fond farewell as I head off to dreamyland. Have a great night and a wonderful Monday, folks!

(Oh! OnemorethingbeforeIgo....the "Idol" rumor mill tells me that my beautiful Taylor will be singing "You Are So Beautiful" by Joe Cocker this week! He'll also do a song selected for him by the amazing Clive Davis, and also one of his own choosing as well. I would sure love to hear him belt out Amos Lee's "Arms Of A Woman." Hmmm. Oh, and by the way....my heart breaks for Chris Daughtry, and I am still in absolute shock about what happened last week.

OK, goodnight. :)

SP8, Panhellenic, And Craftery...

2006-05-06T19:04:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone. Hope you're having a great weekend! All's well Chez Smith. Hope you and yours are doing well also.

Each year, the Alumnae Panhellenic Association Of Greater Kansas City holds a brunch and recognizes the most outstanding sorority alumna in the Kansas City area. Each of the alumnae chapters submits a nominee, and one woman is selected as the "Kansas City Greek Woman Of The Year." This year, that event was held today and it was wonderful. The Panhellenic this year decided to make a small change. Instead of only one woman being chosen as the "Kansas City Greek Woman Of The Year," they honored individual women, one from each sorority, as "Women Of The Year." It was very nice. Our winner is just amazing. I've blogged about her before. She was initiated into our organization four years after my father was born. She's served as a local and a national officer in our organization, and she's been a tremendous support and cheerleader to me in these last several years as I've led our chapter as President. The Panhellenic also uses this event to honor local collegiate women (both Greek and non-Greek) who are awarded Panhellenic grants and loans to continue their educational pursuits. It's just a wonderful event, and I've been honored to represent my organization and to attend this event for the last several years. Panhellenic is so different at the alumnae level. No more is the focus "competition" (for the best potential members, best fraternities to pair/party with, etc.). Rather, the focus now is on mutual support. If you are a sorority alumna, I really encourage you to both join your particular organization's local alumnae chapter (if there's one close by) as well as your local alumnae Panhellenic. See the National Panhellenic Conference website to learn more about alumna Panhellenic opportunities in your area.

On the sorority thread, one of my sisters recently adopted a beautiful baby girl. I've spent the last two hours making a congratulatory card for her. If I could get my digital camera to cooperate, I'd post a photo for you. I'll work on that tonight. More to come, hopefully.

Speaking of more to come (I am ALL about the segue tonight!), it's time for another round of the Secret Pal game. I am so excited! I've really had a good time making new friends (and being spoiled rotten!) throughout the last two SP events. I am sure this time around will be no different. They ask that all the SPs post responses to questions to help our Pals shop for us. So here we go...Jen's SP8 questionnaire....

1. What is/are your favorite yarn/s to knit with? What fibers do you absolutely *not* like?
I am starting to get away from the Lion Brand yarns. I am evolving in to a "yarn snob," I guess you could say. :) My favorite yarns are Lorna's Laces Shepherd Bulky (which I can't find ANYWHERE in this area) Plymouth's Baby Alpaca Grande. I'd like to try other yarns that are thick and bulky and warm. I also like cotton and sock yarns.

2. What do you use to store your needles/hooks in?
I have a beautiful crochet hook pouch that a previous Pal gave me. When I travel, I use a lipgloss holder from Mary Kay. :)

3. How long have you been ~~knitting~~ crocheting? Would you consider your skill level to be beginner, intermediate or advanced?
I am not a knitter, but I'd love to become one. I just can't quite seem to get the hang of it. I've been crocheting for, oh, 3 or 4 years, give or take. I'd consider myself an advanced beginner.

4. Do you have an Amazon or other online wish list?
Yes. I have both an Amazon list and a general list. They're linked here on my blog. Look to the right.

5. What's your favorite scent? (for candles, bath products etc.)
Spearmint is probably my biggest favorite when it comes to candles and bath products/lotions. I also love vanilla and Earth-y scents (rain, rainforest, beach, etc.) My favorite scents from Yankee Candle include Berry Bramble, Chocolate Chip Cookie, Home Sweet Home, Mandarin Cranberry, and the Sampler/votives in Spearmint and Saratoga. I also love Colonial Candles (Merlot, Vanilla Mintleaf and their White Zinfandel and Winter Woods fragrances...oh, and I am DYING to try the new Orchid Sake!)

6. Do you have a sweet tooth? Favorite candy?
Yes, unfortunately! :) And my waist shows it!! :) I love milk chocolate and caramel (or milk chocolate and mint together). I also am a huge fan of white chocolate. I am addicted to the Lindor White Chocolate Truffles and I also love those little Biscoff cookies (the plain ones) that they serve on airplanes. The only thing I can't eat is honey. This makes it hard because lots of chocolate has honey in it. :(

7. What other crafts or Do-It-Yourself things do you like to do? Do you spin?
I am very "in" to homemade card making, and I am a Stampin' Up junkie. I would like to learm how to sew and also about scrapbooking. I don't spin.

8. What kind of music do you like? Can your computer/stereo play MP3s? (if your buddy wants to make you a CD)
This is such a hard question to answer. I like all kinds of music. I'm addicted to XM Radio, and I love their smooth jazz stations. I also love Celtic music. I am a Taylor Hicks fan (SOUL PATROL!) and I love, gosh, so many artists (Sade, Secret Garden, Kenny G., Josh Groban, Joshua Kadison...the list goes on and on. Check out my MySpace page for a better listing of the musicians I love.) Yes, my car stereo can play MP3s.

9. What's your favorite color? Or--do you have a color family/season/palette you prefer? Any colors you just can't stand?
I really love all colors. Although I can't see myself in orange or yellow. My hair and eyes are brown, so I am trying to wear more browns.

10. What is your family situation? Do you have any pets?
Husband (married for 4 years, together for 6) and daughter (4 years old) and killer Boston Terrier (will be 2 this fall)

11. Do you wear scarves, hats, mittens or ponchos?
Yes to all. Well, technically not all. I'd wear ponchos if I had them. But yes to the others!

12. What is/are your favorite item/s to ~~knit~~ crochet?
Gifty-things...scarves, mittens, blankets, etc. I'd like to branch out and try some new items.

13. What are you ~~knitting~~ crocheting right now?Astonishingly enough, nothing! I've got a few project ideas in mind, though...

14. Do you like to receive handmade gifts?
Absolutely.

15. Do you prefer straight or circular needles? Bamboo, aluminum, plastic?
When I was trying to learn to knit, I loved the bamboo needles I had. For crochet hooks, I like the aluminum ones.

16. Do you own a yarn winder and/or swift?
No, but I think they are wicked cool and I'd love to have one someday.

17. How did you learn to knit?
I took two classes and did some self-teaching (a la "Knitting For Dummies"). I have a l-o-n-g way to go in the knitting game before I'm even close to needle competent. My passion is crocheting, and I learned from some of my lady colleagues. One had made me a baby blanket when Erin was born and that sparked the interest. Then she and another colleague sat me down and helped me learn.

18. How old is your oldest UFO?
About 3 years. :(

19. What is your favorite holiday?
Christmas, Valentine's Day, Mothers' Day

20. Is there anything that you collect?
Not really. For a long time, I collected Longaberger baskets. No longer. I still am buying their pottery (in the Heritage Green pattern), but that's about it. I also used to collect crystal figurines. But no, I don't collect anything currently.

21. Any books, yarns, needles or patterns out there you are dying to get your hands on? What ~~knitting~~ crocheting magazine subscriptions do you have?
I've got a ton of books listed over on my wishlists. I get "Crochet" magazine in the mail.

22. Are there any new techniques you'd like to learn?
Sock crocheting (I have a book, but need to sit down and really work on it) and knitting

23. Are you a sock ~~knitter~~ crocheter? What are your foot measurements?
See above. 9 1/2. Big feet, yes I know. :)

24. When is your birthday? (mm/dd)
February 22, 1972

OK, I'm off for dinner. Have a great rest-of-the-weekend, folks.

"Idol" Chatter

2006-05-02T19:42:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone. We're at t-minus-twenty before "Idol," so this'll be a quickie. A little birdie reports that my beautiful Taylor will be performing "Something" by The Beatles and "Play That Funky Music" by Wild Cherry. I don't know how I feel about those choices. At this point in the game, we're left with five AMAZINGLY talented performers. Every song choice HAS to be perfect. I am worried, but I am backing my Soul Patrolman 950%. VOTE FOR TAYLOR, everyone!

Today, I was asked to consider taking over as Chapter Adviser at our Baker chapter. Wow. I'm over-the-top excited and am so thrilled and honored that they even thought of me. So much to consider...(*sigh*) If you've ever served as a chapter adviser to a Greek organization, I'd love to pick your brain and get your insights. What kind of time commitment are we talking about here? What specific duties and roles do these folks fill? My "little sis" (who was also my beautiful Maid-Of-Honor at my wedding) was an adviser back in Indianapolis for a few years. I'll get her insight too. In the meantime, sooo much to consider...

Gonna grab a quick bite to eat and then it's off to Idol! SOUL PATROL!

Playing A Quick Hand Of Cards...

2006-04-30T20:31:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone. As promised, here are a few photos of my recent card creations.

A classmate of Erin's, Brenna, recently turned 5 and had a party. Here's the card we made for her. Erin helped. :) I loved these bright, rose-colored stick-on letters, and I'll definitely buy them again. I think they're really designed for scrapbooks, but who cares? If they look good on cards and work well and are pretty, why the heck not? The inside of the card just says "Happy Birthday" (I can't remember which Stampin' Up stamp set I used), and the cardstocks (all from SU) I used were Rose Red, Certainly Celery, and Bliss Blue. The hearts were cut from my Sizzix machine (I really, really love that thing!) When SU discontinued Mint Melody and replaced it with Certainly Celery, I was NOT pleased. I loved that cardstock. I am pleasantly surprised, though, and how much I love Certainly Celery. Alllllmost as much as Mint Melody. For your Mintlipgloss to say this is a huge travesty, yes, I know. I digress, however. Back to the cards...

And here are the two cards I briefly mentioned last night. As you know, a large group of us here in my neighborhood (and some former neighbors who have since moved) all do "swaps" on occasion. Most of the time, we just make plain cards that can be used for a variety of occasions. This time, I did birthday cards (a handful of us did). The catch? At least half of the cards had to be masculine-friendly and for male recipients. You'd be amazed at how hard it is to do "guy cards." Anyway, I made 18 each of these two cards. The masculine card was made with the following SU products: cardstock (Bliss Blue, Night Of Navy, and Sahara Sand) and ink (Night Of Navy) and stamp set ("It's A Party"), Stampin' Dimensionals, and The Tearing Edge. The hat was cut from my amazing Sizzix machine, and the brads are from, I believe, Making Memories. I was really not one for brads, but lemme tellya, I likey. I likey a lot. They are easy to use and really make a statement. The feminine card was also made using SU and non-SU products. The "non" first! The pink flower brads were from Making Memories, and the cream cardstock and the curvy scissors weren't SU products. Everything else was. Cardstock? Pretty In Pink and Mint Melody (now retired) and Almost Amethyst. Ink? Eggplant Envy (also retired). Stamp set? "Groovy" (also retired). The inside stamp says "Hippie Birthday." The square punches are also from SU.

Off to watch "Big Love" and get everything ready for tomorrow. Is it really the end of the weekend? Please say it ain't so, Joe! Bunko's tomorrow night, so I am not sure if I'll pop by and post. I'll try! Have a great start to the new week, folks!

United 93

2006-04-30T00:19:00.000-04:00

On a stunningly gorgeous autumn day nearly five years ago, four commercial airliners were hijacked and used as weapons of mass destruction successfully intent upon killing as many innocent American lives as possible.

Seven days later, my daughter was prematurely born.

Almost five years later, one film brings it all back. I saw "United 93" tonight.

Not a day has gone by since September 11, 2001 that I haven't thought about that terrible day. I remember exactly where I was sitting and what I was doing when I learned of both Trade Center attacks. I remember walking alongside Loyce and Larry, trying to find a way to waddle my frightened, pregnant body all the way out to the west parking lot of our building as armed guards and police swarmed our site. I remember thinking it completely odd that the local radio station in my car as I drove home played music and carried on about its business as if absolutely nothing were happening. Because my husband is a senior engineer for a major telephone company, he was unable to leave his office that day. And so I spent the day at home, frozen to my television and crying and frightened and ashamed of the world in which I would soon be delivering my innocent baby. In the years that have passed since that terrible day, not one 24-hour period has elapsed without my thoughts returning to that tragic time. It's been one of the moments in my life that I'd consider to be "defining," and I knew when I'd first learned about this movie that I'd have to go see it. I encourage you to do so as well. We can't ever forget those amazing people and what they sacrificed. They were fearless. Strong. Unafraid. Brave. If only they'd had more time...perhaps if they'd started their attack sooner, they could have recovered the aircraft and returned it to safety by landing at an airport close by. I don't know. I do know that they make me proud to be an American. How proud those families must be. Deservedly. Please go see this film. Please.

Hi guys. Sorry that it's been so long since my last post. Curt's grandmother took ill and had exploratory surgery (she pulled through - more on that in a moment) and work has been insanely busy (more to come on that, too). Earlier today, my sorority's alumnae chapter ended the year with a wonderful salad luncheon and charity auction, and I inducted next year's President and Executive Board. I am sad to pass this baton on, but I am proud of the time I spent as President of the chapter and I am so grateful for the support and love these women showed to me. We had another card exchange in our neighborhood, and again, I waited until the final hour to get them done (will post photos soon). What else....still no closer to finding out about the job I interviewed for last month. I'm still DVR'ing "All My Children" (Michael E. Knight's recent scenes have been FANTASTIC), and I'm still crazy in love with my Taylor Hicks and I need to find the time to crochet (and blog!) more often and I'm sad that more of you aren't leaving me comments here and on my MySpace page (although I will admit some responsibility here...perhaps you'd leave me comments if I'd actually POST here!) That's about all. Status quo - busy and happy and well.

Please keep Curt's grandmother in your prayers. It's a long story, but there were some concerns that perhaps gangrene had set in to one or two of her toes. After exploratory surgery Friday, we're thrilled to learn that she may only have to lose one toe (and not her whole foot)...or she may not need surgery at all. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers, friends.

We had visitors this week from our Indianapolis office. Four of the HR folks who will be assuming our little DEU once we are BRAC'd out came and spent the week with us to learn what we do and how we do it. They were VERY nice people, and I really enjoyed getting to know them and helping them to learn about our operations. It makes us all feel so much better knowing that we're passing off our work to people who want to do it well...who care. As I understand it, our office will be officially realigned to Indianapolis come this July, and we'll remain assigned to it, but duty-stationed here in Kansas City. In my heart of hearts, I hope to be out of here and settled in to my new job before then. I am ready to make my move and get camp set up where I will be post-BRAC. I just want to leave of my own will and not via a separation SF-50 and "lights out."

OK, I am off to snuggle up to my family unit (or "unit family," as Erin likes to call it). Have a great rest-of-the-weekend, guys.

Absolutely Blown Away

2006-04-18T22:03:00.000-04:00

Oh my goodness. "Idol" was fantastic tonight. Absolutely fantastic. I am just blown away at how talented some of these people are, and I am so envious of their courage and drive. I wish I had the stamina and the sense of self and the confidence to stand up in front of the country and give this very intimate part of themselves to all of us. God bless each and every one of them and their families. Just wow.

OK, here's my recap of tonight's "Great American Songbook:"

Chris: Absolutely beautiful. I had no idea how (if?) he'd be able to pull off "What A Wonderful World," but he sang it with such poise and beauty. He was just brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. He's Curt's choice to win, and if I weren't so head-over-heels-in-love with my Taylor, he'd be my pick as well. Oh wow. He took my breath away.

Paris: Our beautiful little Paris. The tiny girl with the great big voice. She is just amazing, and she didn't disappoint tonight. Well within her element and completely and totally at ease. She was just wonderful.

Taylor: My Taylor. My magnificent gray-haired crooner and the Soul Patrolman of my heart. His performance was pure magic. Just magic. Every note was perfect, and he entertained us (in his purely Taylor way) completely and totally. "You Send Me" would not have been my choice for him, but boy was it ever a good selection. I agree with what Paula said about "doing Sam Cooke proud," and I too am proud and thrilled to be one of many in the Soul Patrol.

Elliott: Talk about a perfect song choice. Elliott is so full of life and has an amazing, amazing set of pipes. For Simon to say that his performance lacked "personality" was wrong, wrong, and wrong. Elliott did a wonderful job, and I love him more every week.

Kellie: It wouldn't be "Idol" without a train wreck performance, and tonight's trophy-for-terrible goes to Miss Pickler. She is my choice to leave us tomorrow night.

Ace: YOWZA. The boy cleans up nicely. And he is SMOKING HOT. SMOKING. DAMN, to be single and ten years younger.......OK, where was I? Ace seems like a genuinely sweet soul, and I think that he can really sing, but he's not been one of the stronger performers this time around. And his focus on the falsetto is NOT the "good thing" that Randy and Paula seem to think it is. That said, I think he did better tonight than he's done in a long, long time. The middle of the song was his strongest point. The start and end were shaky, and what the hell was up with that VERY FLAT falsetto? Zoikes. All in all, probably his best performance in the competition. And God DAMN, the boy is HAWT.

Katharine: Beautiful, beautiful voice, but she was flat and pitchy throughout (yet again). I wish she'd done something a bit more flirty or sexy. She did a good job and it was a good way to end the night.

My vote to leave us this week? Kellie. Who will join her in the bottom three? Probably Ace and either (unfortunately, and it kills me to say this) Elliott or Paris. (I'd rather Katharine be in the bottom three, but something tells me that she won't be.)

"Toniiiight's The Niiiiight..."

2006-04-18T08:17:00.000-04:00

(Get the Rod Stewart reference?) :)

Hi. My name is Jennifer and I'm an American Idol addict.

("Hiiiiiii Jennn-iff-fur.")

I can't help it. It's addictive, and I'm finding myself looking forward to Tuesday nights every week. Here's a cute graphic I found online, and I think I'll post it every Tuesday in support of my wonderful Taylor:

Soul Patrol!

The Great American Songbook, Part Une

2006-04-13T19:46:00.000-04:00

OK, I've been wondering all day today what next week will bring on "American Idol." The songs Rod Stewart covered on his four "Great American Songbook" albums are some of the most time-honored and beautiful songs. And it's hard when you go back through and listen to them to try to find the one or two which would be best for the contestants. For some of them (like Elliott and Paris and Katharine), the choices are abundant. They fit well within this genre of music. And then I look at Chris and Kellie and can't even come close to finding one or two of these songs that they could bring a splash of color and originality to. I've got a handful of potentials here, and it'll be neat to see how many of these (IF any of these, rather) are performed next week. OK, here we go...

For my amazing Taylor, I see him seeing something fun and up-tempo. If we could make it romantic or sexy in any way, even better. "Makin' Whoopee" was my original choice for him, but I think he'd do "What A Wonderful World" beautifully. "My One And Only Love" might also be a good fit for him.

Katharine, I imagine, had a ball picking her song for this performance. There are so many that her beautiful voice could bring a sparkle to. If Taylor doesn't do "Makin' Whoopee," I think Katharine should. And she should flirt it up a bit...wink and shimmy a bit and really enjoy the romance of the song. Or maybe she could do "A Kiss To Build A Dream On."

I wasn't familiar with "Blue Skies," but the SECOND that I heard it, I thought of Paris. It's SO her, and I can so easily see her really having a good time with it.

My choice for Elliott? "You Send Me."

And for Chris? This was a hard one, and I'm not entirely sure of my selection here. How about "The Nearness Of You"?

I can SO see Ace doing "Crazy, She Calls Me."

And Kellie? "Taking A Chance On Love."

That's it for my predictions. I'll be interesting to see what happens next Tuesday night!

Thank you SO MUCH for the comments, everyone! Please keep them coming! It's nice to know that (a) caramel macchiatos and (b) hating Bucky Covington are traits I share with my friends in Cyberspace. :)

Have a great night, everyone!

The Buck Stops Here

2006-04-12T21:38:00.000-04:00

Thank GOD. Bye bye Bucky.

(Now, I will admit that I feel a little bad here. I mean, the guy seems like a real pumpkin. But he truly doesn't have the talent or the vocal strength or presence that the others do.)

Breaking McPhee-ver?

2006-04-12T20:20:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone. Just passing by real quick-like before "Idol." Not much new news to share with you. I bought a gorgeous, feminine, flowing spring skirt, only to (a) get it out of the store with the security ink tag on it and (b) return it to the store to get the tag off and then (c) rip it wide open at the seam the very next day when I wore it FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME. Yep - that's typical Jen for you. Thanks to the ingenius soul who invented safety pins, the Kansas City area proper was protected from seeing my lower half. Heh. (Yes, the visual...it's horrifying, I know.) What else? No new news on the job for which I interviewed two weeks ago. I'm dying to try the new Orchid Sake candles from Colonial Candle. I signed up for the next go-'round of the Secret Pals. We're havng Easter dinner at our house this weekend, and Curt's family's all a'comin. Oh, and I've developed quite the addiction to HBO's new series "Big Love." Not much else to share with you.

OK - here's my "Idol" recap. I never thought the day would come when I'd actually say this, but Bucky wasn't the worst performer on the show. That unsavory honor goes to Katharine. She's got a beautiful, beautiful voice (and she's one of Curt's two favorites to win), but her performance was, and this is putting it nicely, a train wreck. She was all over the place. Flat, sharp, off key...you name it. It was horrible. She did the right thing in choosing something more ballad-esque in nature, but good grief. What a mess that was. Bucky's performance wasn't much better, but he was on-pitch more than Katharine was and he looked more comfortable and confident than she did. Ace is so gorgeous and adorable, but yuck. Bad, bad performance. It had a few strong points, but not many. Kellie's performance wasn't much better. Chris WAY oversang his song, but he is so fantastic and so powerful and I am sure his place remains cemented in this competition, at least for now. Elliott was fantastic, and I am coming to like him more and more every week. He's got an amazing voice, and it makes my heart smile whenever the cameras pan out to his frail, beautiful mother (check out how proud she is of him...and rightfully so). Taylor was, oh wow, just my amazing Taylor. I am SO SO glad that he chose "Crazy Little Thing Called Love." In typical Taylor style, he danced and had fun and made everyone happy and truly entertained. Good vocal, too. Not his best, but close thereto. But the best performance of the night goes to the amazing Paris. Wow, wow, and triple-mega wow. For someone with such a strong soul and gospel background, to take a song like that and perform it as brilliantly as she did was just amazing. I hear her sing, and I am just amazed that someone so young has the strength and full sound that she does. Just wow. Love her. Loved her from the start. She and Taylor remain my top favorites, with Elliott and Chris as my third and fourth, respectively. Taylor and Elliott are my mom's favorites, and Chris and Katharine are Curt's. Who'll be in tonight's bottom three? Bucky, Ace, and Katharine? Who'll leave? Ace, although it really should be Katharine.

(And by the way, I really wish one of the contestants had performed "One Year Of Love." That's one of my all-time favorite Queen songs. However, I couldn't tell you which one of the eight would have done it the best. Maybe Bucky? No, Katharine. It would be nice to see a strong female version of that song. Oh well. And now I've got that song stuck in my mind. "....one sen-ti-men-tal moment in your arrrrrms...")

Something's happening to me that those of you who know me (or who have read my blog as of late) will think is kinda funny. Guess who's s-l-o-w-l-y developing a Starbucks addiction? Yes, me, the girl who swore off expensive coffees and swore that her $1.50 drive-thru restaurant Coke would beat a frothy cuppa Seattle's best on any day is now actually stopping BY Seattle's favorite coffee shop almost every day on the drive home. The people in my life are astonished. Now, all of this said, let me be clear. I don't have a lot of coffee in my drink of choice (Caramel Macchiato...fat-free milk with whipped cream, please.) I only get a QUARTER OF A SHOT of espresso. (Christ, how do people drink espresso straight? GOD that stuff is strong.) I just like a little kick of coffee to accompany the sweet taste of the caramel. Yum. Dammit Curtis. This is all your fault! :) (Curtis thinks this is all quite amusing.)

Erin said something absolutely hilarious and I just HAVE to share it with you. We are very open with Erin about a lot of things, and so it's absolutely nothing for her to be in the room with me when I am getting dressed. I was getting ready for work and she and I were talking, and I said something to the effect of, "OK, now Mommy needs to put her bra on so she can finish getting dressed." Her VERBATIM response? "Yeah, Mom...because no one wants to see those." I damned near died laughing. So did Curtis. And so have our parents and my colleagues. I mean, I know I don't look like CINDY CRAWFORD or anything, but gee whiz! Out of the mouths of babes...

Off to watch the show. Later!

Update On The Status Quo

2006-04-10T15:55:00.000-04:00

Bonjour. It's me. More than a day late and definitely a few dollars short. It's been a while, yes, I know.

It's been pretty much normal here Chez Mintlipgloss. Not much new to share. Erin's got a touch of the yucky flu/cold bug, so I stayed home with her today. Curtis and I celebrated five years of marriage (!!!) on Friday. Work's going well (I am the DEU CERTIFICATE QUEEN!) and we're excited about having the family unit over for Easter dinner this upcoming weekend (how is it possible that it's EASTER already?!)

Do you know who Joshua Kadison is? He's fabulous, and I sent him an EMAIL to tell him so and he sent one back. "Painted Desert Serenade" is one of my all-time favorite albums, and it was a huge thrill to get an EMAIL from him. Looks like he's touring in Germany this year, to include a stop in Kaiserslautern, which is a German city with a U.S. Army presence. We were stationed there in the mid-70s when Daddy was Active Duty and I was a wee one. I wish I'd had the chance to experience Germany with an adult appreciation and understanding. It's an amazing place.

On the topic of music, I've discovered someone new and I really want to tell the world about him. His name is Amos Lee and he's great. Check out his website and his MySpace site to learn more about him.

MySpace is just amazing. In the last seven days, I've reconnected with two dear friends from high school. Sean and I were in "The Lunch Bunch" during our senior year, and I am sorry that I didn't really get to know him until then. What a great guy. And a fantastic actor. David was also in the plays with us and we always had a great time. It's been fun catching up with David, and I am really looking forward to talking with Sean more. It's funny how far we've come in the 16 (!!!) years since we've graduated from high school. Still the same people, only smarter and stronger. It's really great to be back in touch with these guys again.

OH! And Shelby, my wonderful new friend who was my fantastic Secret Pal, also is on MySpace too! So cool!

OK, I am off to check on my little sweetie, who, at last check, was conked out and sleeping. :)

"Idol" Astonishment

2006-04-06T08:24:00.000-04:00

How is it that someone with absolutely no talent can continually receive votes to remain in a singing competition? I am sure that Bucky Covington is a nice guy. Positive of it. Hell, his lovely wife is a nurse. I'm sure they are wonderful, fantastic people. But please, please, please America. Wake up. The guy CAN'T SING. How is it that he continues to remain on this show week in and week out? And Mandisa. Beautiful, beautiful Mandisa. Her being voted off last night, especially in light of the fact that people with significantly less talent still remain on this show (*ahem* Bucky, Ace, Kellie) just boggles the mind (and breaks the heart).

Not much new in my world, folks. All's well. Work's busy and I am making a contribution, so that's good. We celebrated Curt's brother's birthday (#31) over the weekend and our fifth wedding anniversary is tomorrow. Wow. Five years (well, seven years all total, but still). Maggy got her chompers on Erin's glasses (AGAIN!!!!!!!!!), and so we're off to LensCrackers after work to get new ones. Yep, pretty normal, status quo stuff at the Minty Mansion this week. Hope you're all doing well! One more day and then it's the weekend! Yay!

The Cat's Out Of The Bag!

2006-04-01T16:20:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to say an EXTRA HUGE THANK YOU to the wonderful Shelby, who was my wonderful Secret Pal. She spoiled me rotten and always sent me the sweetest EMAIL and E-cards. She's fantastic, and whoever gets her as an SP next time is vedddddy lucky. Thanks, Shelby. You're the greatest! :)

One Year Ago Today...

2006-03-31T20:52:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone. I didn't want to say anything in particular, but I did want to make a special mention that it was one year ago today that two important events took place. The beautiful Terri Schiavo ended her long, horrible plight and returned to Heaven and I sent a note to someone from my past asking to be forgiven and attempting to invoke a healing dialogue. While I fear the world hasn't changed for the better in this past year, I know Terri is worlds happier and is enjoying every joy and blessing of Heaven. I wish I could say that her death and the heartbreaking situation the cruel and inhuman monster to whom she was espoused placed her in had changed the world somehow...maybe made us more compassionate or somehow more inclined to protect human life...I'm afraid that's, sadly, not the case. And as for my former friend...well he never replied and that's OK. What mattered most was that his heart heard my message. I believe it did. Someone more famous than me said recently that forgiveness doesn't have to be asked for in order to be given. And so it is.

God bless Terri Schiavo and the Schindler and Vitadamo families today and always. Their book about Terri's life, "A Life That Matters: The Legacy Of Terri Schiavo," is now available. Please pick that up. And please never forget that all human life is precious and beautiful. Our world is in a dangerous spiral, and the vitality and beauty of precious life seems to lose more and more recognition every day. It's up to us to change things. One heart at a time.

Cautious Optimism?

2006-03-28T21:38:00.000-05:00

OK, so I had my job interview this morning. And I think it went well. I really do. So why is it, then, that I am so afraid to actually think that I've got a shot here? The people who interviewed me seemed very interested in the things I had to say. They took beaucoup notes, made sure to ask me to extrapolate on certain things, and seemed to enjoy meeting me. This type of work sounds wonderful - it's an opportunity to expand on my Federal HR skills and talents while cultivating new ones. Without naming names, I'll simply say that this is THE agency AT which most people in my discipline wish to work, so I am thrilled to have the opportunity. And although I think I did do well, I'm too afraid to let myself believe that it could really happen. They expect to make their decision in the nexct four weeks (FOUR WEEKS!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WAIT THAT LONG?!), and I'll be sure to let you all know what I find out. Please keep those fingers and toes crossed for me.

(As part of the interview, they placed me in a room by myself with a standalone PC and left me to write an essay. While I was typing, someone popped in and said, in an excited voice, "Hi there! Congratulations! Welcome to TheNameOfTheAgencyDeleted!!" Does she know something I don't...?)

I'm beat, so I am off to snuggle up to my family unit. Before I go, I'm behind on my "Idol" blogging, so here's my recap of tonight in a nutshell. As always, my Taylor was naturally fantastic. Paris and Elliott were the only other two performances tonight worth anything (and DAMN, Paris was good...work it, sister!) Although it should be Bucky that leaves us tomorrow night, I'm almost positive it will be Lisa. I was surprised that Katharine and Chris did as poorly as they did, but they are strong enough (as are their fan bases) that they won't be going anywhere anytime soon. Ace is skating by solely on his looks at this point, which is a shame because he really can sing. He's not showing that, and it's unfortunate. And even though I think Mandisa is wonderful, she way, way overdid that song tonight. Although it won't be tomorrow, Kellie's time needs to end. SOON.

That's it - I am off. Have a great one, everyone. And please, LEAVE ME COMMENTS! Please?

Long Time, No Jennifer

2006-03-25T19:46:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone. I'm sorry that it's been a week (almost a whole week!) since I've posted. Hope that you're all doing well.

It's been a good and very busy week. Now that I am "DEU certified," I can actually generate our certificates. It feels good to make a contribution, and to make a dent, however small, in our backlog. I had a 24-hour tummy bug Tuesday night/Wednesday daytime, and took a day to rest and re-coup. When I called my amazing boss to tell her I'd not be in, she shared something very interesting with me. Earlier, I blogged about the local Federal Executive Board and indicated that my boss is a member of one of its subcommittees. I sat in for her once at one of the meetings, and met a handful of HR Directors at the other local Federal agencies. Apparently they met again last Tuesday, and one of the major Federal agencies in our area indicated a very quick need for Feddy HR Specialists...no competitive advertisements, no announcements, no DEUs...none of that. Quick reassignment actions. So she gave this highly influential individual my resume, and, to make a long story short, I have a job interview next Tuesday. I should be thrilled (I know!), but I guess I am just worried. Those of you who've been faithful readers of my blog know that I've gone back ("I can't leave here! How dare they BRAC us?!") and forth ("Get me out of here!") about this upcoming site closure and the loss of our jobs. And I know cognitively that I'd be an idiot not to take this job were it offered to me...but I'm still scared. I think I'm just scared to leave "that which I know" and take a chance on something new. I have to do this...I mean, August of 2008 is going to come and with it will come the loss of my job. I guess I'm just afraid. It's funny, here I was dreading this big reassignment to our DEU, and now that I'm there and certified (and enjoying it!), I may have to go. Maybe I'll just be happier when the commotion ends, when I am where "I'm supposed to be," and talks of BRACs and reassignments are a thing of the distant past. I don't like the uncertainty.

Amidst the excitement and nervousness of this big upcoming opportunity, three women in my life said some very amazing things to me this week. My mother told me that she and Daddy were over-the-top proud of me, and that they were thrilled to be my parents. That felt so good to hear. My Aunt Sharon send me a beautiful EMAIL mid-week that said "I love you very much. If I have or haven't ever told you, I am telling you now that I'm very proud of you, Jen." And the amazing EMAIL from my boss to the man with whom I'm interviewing next week sang more praises than I'm worth. I wish I had the confidence in me that these amazing women do. Nothing like a little uncertainty to shake your foundation.

(Why am I so gloom-and-doom here? I should be HAPPY, for goodness' sakes!)

Here's something happy to share with you - baby fever has struck! No, it's not me! Two women in my life are expecting and one just delivered this week! My new mother is a sorority sister and friend who delivered a gorgeous little girl on the 21st. Another sorority sister and my secret pal are both expecting!! I am so behind in getting the final package together for my SP. Here's a congratulatory card I made for her:

I hope this makes her smile. I used my Sizzix machine for the die-cuts, and a variety of cardstocks (Pale Plum, Pixie Pink, Bashful Blue, and Certainly Celery) and a stamp set ("Baby Talk") from Stampin' Up. The glue dots and the purple ink aren't from SU.

I also made her a froggy card (since she's bonkers about frogs), and will include this and the baby card in her final package (which I need to finish and get out to her post haste)...

(SU products used include the retired "Frogs & Flies" stamp set, Mellow Moss buttons, and cardstock in Mellow Moss and Pixie Pink. The colored pencils and white cardstock aren't from SU.)

Nothing much else to share with you...sorry. I'm dismayed that more of you aren't leaving me comments (not-so-subtle hint there, folks) and I can't stop singing Natasha Bedingfield's new song "Unwritten." Oh, and I need to get my car in to be looked at. Thrillingly exciting stuff, eh?

I'm In The Pink!

2006-03-19T21:35:00.000-05:00

I am so excited and I have to tell the world!

My amazing husband just ordered me a new little present! A brand new, gorgeously pink, Creative Zen Microphoto 8GB MP3 player! Yay!

Back Home Agaiiiiin...In Kan-Sas Ciiity!

2006-03-19T10:59:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone. Well, I'm home! Safe and sound and happy. Hope that you've all had a great weekend so far. Erin's visiting her grandparents this weekend, and so we're leaving momentarily to go and pick her up (I miss her something fierce and I can't wait to see her). Just wanted to post a few of the photos I took last week in Seattle before trekking up to Grandma's house. Enjoy!

(Oh, these photos were taken with my camera phone. I am amazed at how well they came out!)

Here we go...

Here are two shots of the Space Needle:

Our class was on the 28th floor of the Henry Jackson Federal Building in downtown Seattle. Here's a shot of the Bay from our classroom:

Last Wednesday was "National Coffee Break Day." As you know, I am not much of a coffee fiend. But hell, I was in Seattle. You know, the Starbucks-Capital-of-the-World! So on this beloved day of days, we trekked out and brought back free coffee. Here's a goofy shot from inside the Starbucks across the street from the Federal Building (and no, that's NOT me in the photo...I took the photo):

When we got back, I took a goofy shot of my desk. Here's everything your Jennifer needs to succeed in DEU training - her (very large) training book, a nifty highlighter, caffeine (hell, it's either a Coke or this free Starbucks, so why the hell not?), and her faaaaaaavorite lotion, "First Kiss" from Sunrise Soap!

Have a great day, everyone!

Jennifer-By-The-Bay, Part Trois

2006-03-16T19:19:00.000-05:00

Well, today's my last day in frigid, frosty Seattle. Class ended well (although I stuck around for a bit to discuss transmutations) and I feel like I am going to go back better able to make a contribution to our DEU. I am really glad I came to this training. I just wish it'd been closer to home. I can't wait to get back tomorrow to my amazing family. Curt, Erin, and Goo-Doggy...Mommy misses you guys soooo much!

Nothing much new to report today. I stayed up too late last night (after having my share of beers at the hotel's free happy hour), so it will feel goooooood to lay down and rest. I think tonight I'll stick close to the hotel...read a bit, crochet, etc. I feel badly that I didn't get much of an opportunity to shop for anyone while I was here (to include my wonderful Secret Pal, who, I'm certain, thinks I've forgotten allllllll about her!) I always try to bring back knick-knacs for those I love whenever I go TDY. Oh well. Given the cold and the damp (and my lack of both a directional sense and a rental vehicle), any shopping plans I had were basically doomed from the start. I didn't want the hassle of a rental car, given the fact that it costs an arm and eight legs to park, both here at my hotel and downtown at the Federal Building. Ah....coulda, woulda, shoulda.

(Oh, I meant to tell you this yesterday. There's an amazing little deli in the Wells-Fargo Building downtown. It's called Georgio's Subs and they're awesome. I had lunch there every day because their salads are DELICIOUS! If you're in downtown Seattle and have a hankerin' for a salad or a sub, GO THERE!)

So, like I said, not much more to share with you, so instead of bloviating on and on about absolutely nothing, I'll spare you the e-rhetoric (and Blogger the bandwidth) and say goodnight. Hope you've all had a great week. Next stop, Kansas City!

(Isn't there a song about Kansas City with the lyric "Kansas City, here I come..."?)

Livin' La Dolce Vita

2006-03-15T21:24:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone. I know I almost never post twice in one day, but I just had to come back and share something with all of you.

Thai food's not my thing, and since it's Thai night here at my hotel, my options were delivery pizza (no thanks) or to hoof it to a close-by restaurant. I took the suggestions of my friends at the front desk of my nice hotel, and off I went to La Dolce Vita. It was fantastic. Above fantastic. I got there early enough to basically have the place to myself. The food was FANTASTIC (I had Pollo Saltimbocca, sub roasted potatoes for the spinach). The portion was huge (I've got enough for lunch tomorrow). It was just fantastic. So if you're ever in the Seattle area and are hungry for Italian, definitely stop by La Dolce Vita!

Jennifer-By-The-Bay, Part Deux

2006-03-15T19:37:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone. Hope that you've all had a great day. It's COLD here in Seattle today! Pretty, but cold. Veddddy windy. The wind picks up off the water and it's so chilly. I've not seen the torrential rains that everyone in the midwest seems to believe are so typical of Seattle. Watch, sure as I say that to you, the skies will open tomorrow and the rains will come.

Class went well today. We covered a LOT of ground. This is exactly the kind of stuff I was hoping we'd be covering. Lots of discussion about veterans' preference entitlements, to include some relatively new campaign medals and vet pref guidelines (i.e., the Korea Defense Service Medal). We also had some significant discussion about ICTAP. Those of you who are regular readers of my blog know allllllll to well why ICTAP's of interest to me. Something I didn't know was that the laws don't allow for the portability of ICTAP eligibilities. If you are involuntarily separated via a BRAC or a RIF (reduction-in-force), you're only able to claim ICTAP eligibility in the commuting area wherein you were separated. So that washes my previous concern that perhaps my ICTAP match came from out of town (we did learn later that she was indeed a local RIF'ee, but that momentary worry was there that she lost a job someplace else and then came here and stole from me my chances at "the perfect job.") It's going well and I am really glad I came. I am learning a lot and my instructor is great. He stuck around with me for a bit after class today to answer questions and to help me get a better handle on A-C-E examining versus category ranking. So good - I feel like I am coming along and like I'll be able to really do well when I get home. Time will tell.

Outside the classroom, we had a few interesting experiences today. Apparently, today was "National Coffee Break Day" (who knew?!) and our friends at Starbucks gave away free coffee this morning in celebration of this oh-so-amazing-and-meaningful holiday. At 10-till-10 this morning, my classmates and I trudged out into the freezing cold for coffee. Now, mind you, I am not a coffee fan. But hell, it was free and I am in Seattle. My coffee-addicted husband (and all of my friends back home) would never let me live it down if I didn't make at least a small effort to indluge myself in their beloved beverage on this special day-of-days. So I did. In the elevator on the way back up to class, my classmates and I met two very kind Commanders in the 13th Coast Guard District of the United States Coast Guard, who made us gleefully late to class after giving us a tour of their office, a look out their 38th story window at the Bay (yowza), and a quick once-over of what they do. Truthfully, the ladies I was with just went to ogle the cute guys (and I will admit, one of those Commanders was mighty attractive), but I just felt honored to get the experience and to say "I met two Commanders in the Coast Guard." Daddy will love this...he's such a military history buff. After lunch, a handful of Seattle's finest citizens decorated the front of the Federal Building with silent protest signs. Let's see, one said "Democracy Hypocrisy." Another said (in large letters) "IMPEACH!" Yet another said "FASCIST." Nice. I'll give them credit - at least they weren't the whack-job protest-happy mongrels you see on TV. But yikes. A classmate later told me she saw those folks holding up signs showing a nude George Bush and Dick Cheney covered only in fig leaves. I don't get it, but whatever. I wish I'd had the digital camera. Oh, and my "SMILE" friend was out in full force again today. Nice of him to risk life, limb, and frostbite for the betterment of Seattle's emotional stability.

Even though this is a good experience and I know I need to be here, I miss home something fierce. I miss my husband. I miss my baby girl. I miss my killer Boston Terrier. I miss my own bed and the way my home smells and feels. I'll be home Friday...just wish Friday'd come a little sooner.

I've not blogged much about "American Idol" lately. Here's my summary in brief of the last two weeks. The American public made a big mistake sending Gedeon home. That honor really should have gone to the talentless Bucky. Someone please help me understand what the world proper sees in this man. The loss of Ayla was a shock as well. Melissa really should have gone home instead, and her horrible performance last night just further illustrates my point. Of last night's performances, the stand-outs were my guy Taylor, Paris, Mandisa, and Katharine. Chris is fantastic, but I wish he'd not rocked out that song. It would have been nice to have seen a softer side of this guy. Lisa and Elliott are both amazing performers, but I don't think their performances were stand-outs last night. The worst performances were Bucky (gee, there's a shocker), Kevin (although I must admit that it's fun watching Chicken Little bust at Simon), Kellie (it's SO time for her to go), and Ace (who, while delicious, isn't showing us his true voice...he's got such a good voice, but where's he hiding it?) My pick to go home tonight? I want it to be Bucky, but it will probably be Kevin or Kellie.

It's Thai night at my hotel, so I'm off to dinner. Have a great night everyone!

Jennifer-By-The-Bay

2006-03-14T20:16:00.000-05:00

Greetings from sunny, gorgeous Seattle! Hi everyone. Just have a few quick seconds (the hotel's got this strict "thirty minutes only" policy for their free PC), but I wanted to pop in and say hello and check in. I made it to Seattle safely, albeit along a VERY bumpy road, and my DEU training class is in full swing. I miss home.

Yesterday was QUITE the odyssey. Why Southwest can't book a thru flight from Kansas City to Seattle, I'll never know. I left Kansas City at 11:00 a.m. local time (which is 9:00 in the a.m. Seattle time). THREE FLIGHTS LATER, I arrived in Seattle just past 6:00 local time (which is, for those of you playing along at home, 8:00 Kansas City time). Kansas City to Los Angeles, Los Angeles to Sacremento, and Sacramento to Seattle. After an entire day in the air, I was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to get back to my hotel and SLEEP. Thanks to an adorable, hilarious, and gayer-than-a-box-of-fruit loops shuttle driver from Shuttle Express, I arrived safely at my hotel. (By the way, if you need shuttle transit in the Seattle area, DEFINITELY call Shuttle Express. They were fantastic.) All's well that ends well, I suppose. But my day most definitely did NOT get off to a good start. Although we are authorized to use commercial transit to get from our homes to the airport (when we go on official duty or, as we Feddy folks call it, "TDY"), I never do. I mean, NEVER. Firstly, I like being able to come and go as I wish. Many times, I come in to work early on the day that I leave (or I come in to the office after my flight lands). It's just easier to have my car there with me and I can come and go on about my merry day as I choose to. (Plus, I get paid for mileage and parking, which, of course, is nice.) When we lived in Overland Park, I called QuickSilver once and requested a ride to and from the airport. This was, oh, four years ago, give or take. The driver was horrible...he damned near killed us coming back. He was rude. It was just a bad experience. And then he had the audacity to HASSLE me when I didn't leave him a tip. So I called QuickSilver and, of course, complained. Fat lotta good it did me. Wouldn't you know that the SAME EXACT DRIVER came to pick me up yesterday. And he, again, drove recklessly. And, again, I didn't tip him. This time, however, the bastard took his "I'm-pissed-that-you-didn't-tip-me" schtick to a new level. HE FOLLOWED ME IN TO THE AIRPORT. Yes, friends, your minty girl was standing at the ticket counter at Southwest checking IN and the guy walked up to me, interrupted my conversation with the gate agent, and hassled me for a tip. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? When I told him I wouldn't give him one, he actually got an almost violent look on his face, snubbed his nose at me, and said (in an incredibly sarcastic tone) "You have a nice day, now." So that's my last experience with QuickSilver. In all honesty, I couldn't even tell you why I chose this time not to drive on my own. What I will say is this...if you live in the Kansas City area or are coming here and need transport to and/or from Kansas City International Airport, do not contact QuickSilver. Period. Your safety and personal comfort are obviously not important to them. As is evidenced by the fact that twice now, I've been shuttled unsafely and hassled for a tip after the ride. Unreal.

The class is going OK. Unfortunately, there are a ton of people in my class, and almost all of them came together. Pockets of people. Five from one agency, six from another. So here I am, the lone woman out. You know, it would really be nice if one of these little pockets of my colleagues would invite me to lunch or something. Nope. Instead, your favorite minty lady had lunch all by herself today...while a "pocket of personnelists" ate TWO TABLES AWAY! (Thanks for the invite to join you guys!) Oh well. It just makes me miss home more. And I do miss home. Something fierce.

I snapped a few quick photos on my camera phone (wish I'd brought the digital!) and I will try to get them uploaded when I get home. Two of the gorgeous Space Needle, one of the beautiful view of the Bay from my classroom, and one of a cooky, hilarious guy on the street flashing a sign at drivers-by that said "SMILE!"

Have a great night, all!

Jen

On The Road Again...

2006-03-12T17:01:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone. Hope that you're having a great weekend. It's been a scary day for us. We've had three (count 'em, three!) tornado sirens go off today, and have spent much of the day in the basement (joy of all joys - thank God for televisions and computers). It looks like the bad weather has passed and we've actually decided to grill out tonight. Curt's outside getting some reportedly "very yummy pork chops" up and going. That'll be nice.

I leave tomorrow for yet another work-related trip. This time, it's off to the rainy coffee capital of the world, Seattle. I'm taking the DEU training that I've been bloviating about now for the past few weeks, and believe it or not, I am actually looking forward to it. (Yes, I know...you're surprised...hell, I'm surprised!) It'll be a good experience and I am looking forward to actually formally diving in to this new part of my professional field. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I travel tomorrow. I'll try to blog this week and keep you all posted on how I am doing.

Have a great rest-of-the-weekend, friends!

-Jen

Michael McDonald, Look Out!

2006-03-08T22:50:00.000-05:00

Taylor Hicks, thy name is megastar.

I've loved Taylor ever since he waltzed into his Las Vegas audition for "American Idol". Tonight, he absolutely blew me away. The other men aren't even worthy of comment tonight. Taylor was just fantastic. Fantastic, fantastic, fantastic. The fact that he's not like anyone else sets him apart immediately. Is he conventionally attractive? Coordinated? No. But he's fabulous. His completely infectious smile and personality make him a true "American idol." He appeals to the masses. He absolutely loves what he's doing and it just freely resonates from him. And he's got the pipes to back it all up. So tonight, my blog post is alllll about the Soul Patrol's favorite brother, Taylor Hicks. He's got my vote, 900%.

In My Enchanted Garden...

2006-03-07T22:13:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone.

It was a good day. I am actually s-l-o-w-l-y beginning to make a contribution in my new workplace. Of course, I'm not DEU certified yet, which makes it next to impossible to do much of anything. However, I did get to use the automated system, do some preliminary qualifications analyses, and basically got a good feel for what the rest of my HR career will look like (well, so long as I stay within this agency). Not bad. Not bad at all. More to come as I continue to learn. My DEU training is next week, and I am really looking forward to it.

In 1995, I ended a very bad romantic relationship. Everyone's got these "woe-is-me-love-done-me-wrong" stories, so I'll spare you the bloviated rhetoric. During the time immediately following my breakup, something miraculous happened to me. I found myself. I'd spent so many years working to please others...to win the favor and love of those around me (and tolerating an insurmountable amount of bullshit in the process) and here I was, a mid-twenties young woman with absolutely no sense of self. Self-esteem? Forget about it. I didn't even know who I was. God blessed me with the courage and the strength to abandon quite possibly the most heartless, selfish individual I've ever known, and although it wasn't easy, I survived. I did a lot of introspection in those days, and found myself (as I've done my whole life) using music as part of my healing and recovery. Right around that same time, a new artist, Kevin Kern, released his amazing debut album called "In The Enchanted Garden". I fell in love right away. It's all instrumental piano music...very soothing, very calming, and very comforting. It brought me peace and I listened to it over and over and over again. Throughout the years, I listened to that CD a time or two and always enjoyed it, and it always made me proud. I could feel in that music just how far I'd come. This past weekend, I re-discovered Kevin, and I am so, so thrilled. His new CD, "Imagination's Light", is simply fantastic. Today, I sent Kevin an EMAIL via his website, and I was doubly thrilled that he wrote back to me. Those messages appear below:

-----Original Message-----
From: MyLastName, JENNIFER [mailto:MyUserId@MyDomainName]
Sent: Tuesday, March 07, 2006 7:18 AM
To: kevin@kevinkern.com
Subject: Kevin Kern - Letter From A Fan

Hello Kevin,

My name is Jennifer MyLastNameDeleted and I live in Kansas. In 1996, I discovered your music while going through a terrible period in my life. I listened to "In The Enchanted Garden" over and over again, and it brought so much peace and comfort to me during a time in my life when I felt very empty and broken. Years later, I am so happy to have "re-discovered" you. I bought "Imagination's Light" last weekend and I love it. Thank you for the gift of your music and for the peace and the comfort it brings.

I sure hope that you come to the Kansas City area for a concert! I will be watching your website for more information on tour dates and upcoming events.

Best wishes to you!

Jennifer

From: Kevin [mailto:kevin@kevinkern.com]
Sent: Tuesday, March 07, 2006 11:21 AM
To: MyEMAILAddress
Subject: RE: Kevin Kern - Letter From A Fan

Dear Jennifer,

Thanks so much for taking the time to write to me. I always appreciate hearing from people who have been touched by my music.
If you haven't done so, please take a moment to join our mailing list so we can keep you up-to-date on future concert appearances. We're always looking for new opportunities and we hope to come to visit Kansas City in the future.

Thanks again for your support and encouragement.

Peace,

Kevin

*********************

Kevin Kern
P.O. Box 460850
San Francisco, CA 94146 USA
kevin@kevinkern.com
www.kevinkern.com

Very cool indeed. Please stop by Kevin's website and check out his music. When you're in the mood for some quiet calm or some peaceful time to yourself, there's really nothing quite like it.

"Idol" wasn't anywhere near as good tonight as I'd hoped it'd be. Katharine was the night's strongest performance, with Mandisa as a close second. Paris just chose the wrong song, but she and Mandisa are still tied as my favorite of the female contestants. Melissa has a unique voice and her song choice was excellent, but I just don't think she's got what it'll take to stand up against these other amazing young women. Lisa's fantastic, but I hated her song. Ayla...wow. Go girl. Kinnik chose the perfect song, but I don't think her performance was as strong as it could have been. What can I say about Kellie? I fail to see why the entire world thinks she's so adorable. Cute? Yes. Not fabulous. She's got a good stage presence and an OK voice, but yikes, the "country bumpkin" routine is beginning to grate on my nerves. I realize that she's come from meager beginnings, but good gracious. Unfortunately, I am afraid that her "dumb hick" vibe will sail her right on through. My picks to leave this week? Melissa and Kinnik (although it should be Kellie, but somehow I doubt that will happen). Curt's prediction tonight is that Katharine will take the entire competition and be the next "Idol." I don't know. She's definitely got an amazing voice.

I've got an early day tomorrow, so I'm off. Be well and have a great Wednesday, everyone.

How Do You Define A Life?

2006-03-06T22:15:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone.

Today, I got to thinking about the heart. My heart, specifically. No, not clinical heart-related stuff (my blood pressure was fine when last checked, and I feel generally OK). I'm talking about the sentimentality...the parts of your heart that you give, that you share, that you hold for yourself, and that are "out there" floating amongst the world proper. Not long ago, I read a poll on a BBS I occasionally frequent about "what defines you"...how do you characterize yourself? By your family roles? Your job? Your socioeconomic status? I didn't participate in that poll, but if I'd done so, I imagine my response would have centered around my loves. Who and what I love (and have loved) and how each has influenced who I am.

First and foremost, my absolute love is my family. For every hardship we experienced, we came through stronger and smarter. I didn't have a perfect childhood, but I know and believe with all my heart that my parents did everything they could to ensure that I was healthy and happy and that I had a good life and upbringing. It's so hard to be away from them geographically, and I am so thankful that we live in a day and age where technology makes the physical miles between loved ones much easier to bear. Daddy will always be the first man I ever loved...the smartest (and funniest) guy on the face of the planet...the man I most want to be impressed with and proud of me. Mom was always there for everything. Every play, every concert, every school event. She inspired a love of learning in me, taught me to believe in myself, and loved me unconditionally even when I felt (and still sometimes do feel) unworthy of love. My husband and daughter are the biggest surprises that God has ever given to me. While I absolutely held the common dream of all young girls...to fall in love with "that perfect guy" and have a wonderful life, I certainly never thought I'd ever find that joy. I truly believed in the "there's one person for everyone" mentality, but as I got older, I began to believe with my whole heart that I was the exception to that rule. And it hurt something fierce. When Curtis came in to my life, I certainly wasn't expecting to fall in love...or to find the man with whom I'd share my life for the rest of my days. God led me on an amazing journey that brought me, heartbreaks and all, right to where I was supposed to be - in Curt's arms. The addition of our beautiful daughter was doubly unexpected. I was so sure that I'd never be able to have children (because of my ovarian problems), but God blessed us with the surprise of a lifetime when we learned Erin was alive and growing inside me. The day she was born was the scariest (and later, most beautiful) day of my life. I can still see her little pink face, so tight and squished up. Her tiny, premature little body was so frail...so precious and fragile. Today, she's the most vivacious and alive 4-year-old little person I've ever known. Why God chose to bless me with these amazing people, I will never know. But I am so thrilled that they each hold pieces of my heart...pieces I never want returned to me. I can only hope that I can make them proud and live a life that makes me worthy of them.

So many friends have come in and out of my life throughout the years. I went to a baby shower over the weekend (one of my sorority sisters...she's due at month's end) and I was so envious of her long-time friends. I wish I had some friends that I could say I've had lifelong relationships with. Circumstances largely outside my sphere of control have made it so that, unfortunately, I'm not "super super close" to any one particular grouping of people. I do have, however, lots of good friends near and far, and for them I am so, so thankful. My local girlfriends, my sorority alumnae sisters here in Kansas City, the sisters I was close to in my collegiate sorority chapter, all of my friends from high school and college...they all resonate inside me and I hope that I have been made better and smarter for having known them.

There are several people who hold pieces of my heart that I think of so, so often...people I haven't seen or talked to in years...people whose presence in my life brought me tremendous joy and comfort when it was dearly needed. I miss these people every day, and I think about how wonderful it would be were they to just call me...just to know that they are alive and well and happy...and to ensure that they know that they were and are dearly loved. Although I don't generally mention my personal friends by name, I will in this case. It's important. Scott and Doug, I miss being your "sister" tremendously. Scott, you made me laugh like nobody's business ("Hi! I'm a certified asshole!"). We had an amazing time, and I loved being your "female alter ego." I wish I'd been better at banking the memories so that they'd be easier to recall, but time and age take their toll on memory, unfortunately, and what seems like such a short time ago really has been a long while and I can't see your face as easily now as I once could. Thank you for everything - for spades at the Mezz in Cromwell and for the funny little "David" guy on your PC and for NetCon and for PinkCaddie and for "The Hoss Family" and for steak diane and for dreamscaping and for letting down your very tall emotional walls to let me inside. Thank you for Nancy (I still miss her) and for Aftab and Neil ("let me tell you ONE THINNNNG!") and for standing up for me and for loving me and for being there to protect me whenever I needed a big brother. You are a fantastic person and I hope that you are happy today. Doug, I just miss you. In a very short period of time, I learned so much from you. I learned how to be strong under unfathomably difficult circumstances. I learned how to find incredible humor in the very small things. I learned that sometimes, ignorance and fear, even silent ignorance and fear, can be horribly hurtful. Thank you for huge hugs and "Olive Garden talks" and for handstands in cars and The Abbey and for being there when I was being horribly abused and for being my strength on what was probably the worst night of my life and for helping me to break down my own personal ignorances and for letting me be there for you when you took that hugely courageous step. I only wish that you saw in yourself the beauty I saw in you. I also wish that you'd call me. Curtis has heard story after story about you, and I can just see you and Erin being totally goofy and hilarious together. Attempts to find you on YAHOO! and Google haven't been successful, which frightens me. I hope that wherever you are, you are safe and happy. You deserve that. David, there are three things that I think of each and every day of my life. You are one of them. Not a day goes by when I don't think of you and wish you joy and health and happiness. There's so much to say to you, but that's best left in private, at least for now. What needed to be said, at least for now, was said last March. I got that to you in the only way that I could, and I hope that you and your heart received the message. I hope that time and circumstance will lead us to be friends again. Either way, the piece of my heart that I gave to you remains yours. I hope that you will keep it forever.

This past weekend, my sorority celebrated 154 years in existence. Our celebration was wonderful, and I felt so close to these women. Something most people don't associate with sororities is the "forever factor." Wherever you go, there's a sister. I am not from this area originally, but these women, my sisters from Kansas and Missouri chapters of the same Greek organization, accepted and welcomed and loved me as if I'd come from their chapters too. They entrusted me with their alumnae chapter and believed in and supported me as I led them for three years. I cried during the Ritual Founders' Day service on Saturday, and I cried when one of my vice-presidents broke down as she discussed how she appreciated me (and as she gave me a gorgeous photo frame and beautiful necklace). I was hugged and kissed by many older alumnae and thanked for the contributions I'd made to this chapter. It was a wonderful experience. To hear them say that I'd done a good job...that I'd done right by them...it just made my heart so happy. I felt that the trust they'd placed in me had been proper, and that I'd done them proud. My membership in this organization has been amazing. I've learned so much about the world and about other people by being a part of this very old and very far-reaching sorority. To the women in my alumnae chapter here, thank you so much for your trust and love. And for being my first friends in the KC area and for warm dinners when I was a new mom and for the courage to try new things and step outside my comfort zone. To one sister in particular, who was initiated into our organization when my father was just a small child...thank you for being an unending source of support and for the beautiful sapphire badge and for amazingly yummy bread and for being the kind of sister I want to be. To the women of my collegiate chapter back home, especially Jennifer and Amy, I miss you so much. Thanks for loving me, girls.

Here's a shot of the very thoughtful gift from my vice-president:

I'll close with a special thank you to my beautiful Secret Pal. Thank you for the gorgeous card and the beautiful jewelry and stitch markers!

Have a wonderful night, everyone.

Too Much To Do! AAAACK!

2006-03-03T21:30:00.000-05:00

OK, this is just a quick "HEY GUYS!" post to check in and say hello ("Hello!") Our sorority celebrates Founders' Day tomorrow, and I am just putting some last-second touches on things to make sure our event tomorrow goes smoothly. We are really excited and we've planned a really special event. My Vice-President did all of the work, and she's just amazing. I'll fill you all in on it tomorrow. :)

(Oh, and today's fun DEU factoid...if a 30% (or more) compensably disabled veteran is on a cert and management doesn't believe he or she should be, OPM retains exclusive authority to permit the eligible passover. It's actually called a "passover request." Huh, who knew?! And here I thought that if you had a preference eligible on a DEU or an OPM cert, you were stuck! Heh! Ya learn something new every day!)

Back to my Founders' Day preparations!

How Fast Can Jen Run?

2006-03-02T20:41:00.000-05:00

Hi guys. Just time for a quick post. I've got a chocolate cake in the oven for a colleague's birthday tomorrow and "Idol" is DVR'ing!

It was a good day today. :) Lots of reading and researching! I am learning a lot, and that's good. And the people I am working with seem very nice and we laugh a lot, so that's good. You guys were right. Be positive, give it a shot, and be open to the experience. And so I am opened.

(And I've also got another fun and exciting delegated examining trivia fact for you! Did you know that the Luevano Consent Decree sets no time limit after graduation for Outstanding Scholars? It also allows for an individual to receive an unlimited number of Outstanding Scholar appointments in his or her lifetime! Who knew?!)

There's not really much else new to share with all of you. After the hulla-ba-loo of the last several days, it's actually nice just to have it peaceful and quiet. It appears that a strike has been avoided at NameOfCompanyWhereCurtWorksDeleted and he won't have to go out of town after all. We are both so, so happy about that. Erin's happy and well, and enjoying school. She and her classmates have "jobs" at school, and they are so, so important to them. For example, feeding the class fish. Or being the line leader. Or getting and serving the milk. Or (here's one I don't get) being the blue bag holder at recess. (Um, ok! Is it Prada? Louis Vuitton?) The little ones all rotate jobs and share the work, and there aren't enough jobs for each kiddo to have one every day. The first day Erin didn't have a job, ohmygoodness she was unhappy. She cried! Now she chalks those up as "days off" (i.e., "I had the day off Momma!") Lucky you. I wish MOMMA had the day off, too! :)

"Idol" was disappointing last night. As you know, my heart is SO wrapped around Taylor Hicks (and check out my Bo Bice there last night representin' his Alabama brother Taylor, yo!) (nothing is more urban and hip than a fat, white, mid-30s woman saying "representin'" and "yo"...but I digress!) What a snooze fest. Although it absolutely kills me to say this to you, Taylor's performance was just lackluster. I'd much rather see him do something up-tempo and peppy...getting people up to dance and really enjoy themselves. It was just a bad song choice and Taylor worked too, too hard at being stellar that his amazingly wonderful side was overshadowed. God, it hurt to type that. Chris was just amazing. He's hard not to root for. Elliott and Gedeon were great as well. You know how I feel about Bucky (so many words rhyme with his name...yucky...sucky...fu....don't go there, Jen). God bless little Kevin (Chicken Little). Will was good, David was much improved over last week, and Ace is just delicious (but his performance was just awful). Sway was, eh, OK. Taylor is still my favorite in my heart. He's amazing, he's full of joy and charisma, and it's impossible to watch him and NOT feel good. I can't tell you how many times I've watched and watched again his initial audition, his harmonica walk, and his "Leavon" performance. I smile from ear-to-ear every time. He's just a class act through and through. My picks for vote-off tonight are Kevin and Sway. Although Ace or David could go, too. Oh, and someone please tell Gedeon to sing some deeeeeep SOUL. I heard Jeffrey Osborne's "Baby Stay With Me Tonight" on XMRadio on the drive in to work this morning and I thought, DAMN Gedeon could do this so well. Of course, that song's waaay too adult for the family "Idol" broadcast, but still. Someone give this boy a Jeffrey (or a Johnny Gill) CD! Please!

I'm off to check on the cake and watch "Idol." Have a great night, everyone. Oh, in closing, please keep Gil Rumsey and his family in your prayers. A horrible fire destroyed their gallery in the classic oldtowne part of Overland Park yesterday afternoon, and it's my understanding that firefighters were still working on the blaze as late as rush-hour this morning. A young sorority sister of mine is Gil's niece and she told me today that their entire family is just crushed. So, so sad. The gallery was close to the Yarn Shop and More and I called there today to make sure that they were all OK. They are, but the store has suffered some smoke damage. So, so sad, and lots of prayers are undoubtedly needed. Thankfully, no one was hurt, but still.

OK - my timer's beepin'. Cake's done!

Wow!

2006-03-01T18:52:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone! :)

(Check it out...it's a smiley! In my blog! Yes, friends, your favorite minty chicka is actually SMILING! I mean, yes, I know you're used to her being happy and silly and bloviating for hours upon end about this-and-that-and-whatever, but these last few days have been kinda, well, ick. And I've been rather ick here in BlogVille(tm), too. I think the ick factor is diminishing. Really, I do!)

OK, so today was my first day down in the DEU. And it went well! Of course, I'm not certified yet, but I did do a LOT of reading and research and questioning, which is good. It's good to learn new things and to take risks. Someone said to me a few days ago that life is to be lived...and that life's going to go on regardless, so you might as well at least be an active participant. Well, he was right. So I am an active participant in my new assignment and it's paying off, or at least it's beginning on a good note, which is good. Thank you again guys...for loving me and supporting me. My family, my friends (I love you D(2)), and my awesome BlogBuddies(tm)...wow. You guys are just awesome. Thank you.

(Oh, and here's a fun and exciting DEU fact that I didn't know! Did you know that if you're an NS3 on a DEU cert and you later come up on another DEU cert for the same type of job with the same type of appointment and working conditions, you can be an NS3 for that job, too?! Who knew?! I bounced up to my old office and told my boss this like it was some sort of newly uncovered fossil from the ancient past, and she just laughed. "Yes, Jen, I knew that. But I am so happy that you had such a good first day!" And yes, I know this makes nooooo sense whatsoever to those of you outside the Federal HR world. But hot dammit, I learned it today and I'm happy!) :)

OK...let's talk about "American Idol" and the snore-fest of an episode last night. (*yawwwwwwwwwwwn*) Basically, my opinions haven't changed. Paris and Mandisa are my favorites for the ladies hands down. Although Lisa is a very close third. Katharine's got an amazing voice, but I don't think she did as well last night. Hell, none of them really did. I hope my guy Taylor and the boys are more alive and entertaining tonight than our ladies were last night. AND NO MORE COUNTRY SONGS, dammit. My picks for Thursday's female vote-off are Brenna (please God, let it be Brenna) and Heather, although I wouldn't be sad or surprised to see Melissa go, either.

I am off. Have a great night, everyone! :)

The Cloud Is Lifting

2006-02-28T21:32:00.000-05:00

Hi there everyone. I hope that you all had a fantastic day.

I promise to be brief tonight...I promise! Thanks again for the comments and for the EMAILs and the support, everyone. Having the love and support of good friends sure is a wonderful thing. It's amazing what joy and sunshine a tiny EMAIL message can bring. Thank you all again.

Things are going to be OK. I feel rather foolish for feeling the way that I did. I am sure it made me look unbearably selfish. I am thankful for my job, thankful for my life, and thankful for this new opportunity. I'll learn something new and hopefully, will be a better HR Specialist because of it. Even if I don't like it, that's OK. I'll be smarter for the experience and the experience is only temporary. Today I felt differently. Almost giddy-happy. I guess when good people send positive energies and prayers your way, it's hard for the clouds to stay above you and continually rain. :)

Keep your fingers crossed for me. Tomorrow's the big day. I'll be back tomorrow to let you all know how "Jen's first day in the DEU" went.

A Better Day Today...

2006-02-27T21:57:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone.

First and absolutely foremost, I want to thank so, so very much those of you who have been so supportive of me these last few days. Thanks for the hugs, the kind words, the prayers, the comments here on my blog...thanks for all of it. It sure does make all the difference when you've got good people in your corner loving and supporting you through rocky times. Thanks, guys.

I feel somewhat stupid being so unhappy. I mean, life is GOOD. My family and friends are healthy and well and live in plenty. Why is this so distressing to me? Why is it that I am not embracing this change? I should be seeing it as an exciting move and a brand new opportunity to continue my professional growth. And I am trying to look at it all more favorably. I'm hoping that by this time next week, my tone'll be 900% different. I'll be endlessly bloviating about how great the DEU world is, how much I love it, and how stupid I was to worry and dread this big move. Tomorrow's my last day upstairs in our main office, and I know it'll be a sad one. But I am going to try, try, and try a little bit more to be positive. Having all of you in my corner sure makes all the difference. Thank you soooo much.

In other news, we've been sitting on pins and needles for the last few weeks or so somewhat dreading the start of the month of March. It's kind of hard to share all of this in a concise, non-bloviating manner (sorry), so I'll try to keep it brief. My husband is an engineer for a l-a-r-g-e international firm, only some of which is union (he's management, so he's non-bargaining). One of the labor agreements is due to expire on March 1st, and the word went out that if a strike ensued, my husband and a handful of his work buddies will have to go out of town for who-knows-how-long. Apparently the word on the corporate street is that talks are going well between the parties, and it's fully expected that a new contract will be signed, everyone will be happy, and Curtis will remain warm and safe with the family unit here in Gardner. I just keep dreading March 1st, though (and, given that it's in less than 48 hours, I'd better buck up and get ready, dontcha think?). I've got a sorority event (Founders' Day) and a baby shower all day Saturday, and am scheduled to go out of town for DEU training later in the month. Yuck. The timing just sucks all around. Please keep your fingers crossed for us that he doesn't have to go, my friends. Just the thought of it hurts. It's funny...we were a long-distance couple for the longest time. We met during my internship and had two amazing months together. Then we got engaged and the two-year long-distance-courtship began. I traveled all over the country for my internship and, without fail, he came to wherever I was every two weeks and stayed with me. He also came to Indianapolis and stayed with my family and I when I had a major surgery (and got very sick afterward) the year after we got engaged. It always hurt when he'd leave to go back home. but I always threw myself into my work and enjoyed our daily talks and e-chats. Now that we're together (and have been since 2001, thankfully!), the whole thought of one of us not being here is just so, so hurtful. It's funny how we become creatures of habit. We get comfortable footing and the second it's shaken, even slightly, we lose our way. Look at me...the changing and soon-to-be-loss of my job is just wrecking havoc on me. I feel like such an idiot. I wish I was better at "rolling with the punches." Everyone tells me I'm stronger than I give myself credit for being. I suppose time will tell. In the meantime, God, I hope he doesn't have to go.

OK, I've bored you all enough with my "poor little Jennifer" blah blah blah session. Thanks for the support, everyone. Just love me. I'll be OK. Just love and hug me and send me good thoughts and energies. :)

A Bump In The Road...

2006-02-26T18:18:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone. Hope that you're all having a great weekend.

It's been a bumpy last few days for me. I've wanted to blog about this all for a while, but in all honesty, I've tried not to really think about it, but now that "the time" is right around the bend, well, I'm forced to think about it a lot more. The "it" is a reassignment action that my senior management is soon to take on me (and has already taken on one of my colleagues) outisde our office. The basic contention for this is that the work has changed significantly in our office (which is true, I can't lie), and yet another part of our agency's HR family (which just happens to be located at the KC office) is drowning and in dire need of help. That's all well and good. This "other HR office" that needs us so badly is our Delegated Examining Unit, or "DEU." I've blogged about DEUs before. In sum, they handle almost all external recruitment actions for our agency as well as the handful of other DoD agencies that have contracted with them. It's a tremendously valuable service...one that our agency (and undoubtedly the others as well) couldn't survive without. The kind of work they do is very different than the kind of HR work I'd like to do. It used to be that I was an "HR Generalist" - I did it all. Staffing, classification, employee relations, training...you name it, I did it. I had a business line that I was responsible for, and anytime they needed anything, I was their girl. Need a new secretary because yours got promoted and left? Great, call me. Oh, you have new work but need position descriptions? I'm your girl. Wait, did you just say that your employee spent the day gambling online? I'm your disciplinary Donna. Then our agency decided to consolidate all of that work in another geographic location. So we became a different kind of HR office. Instead of functional, day-to-day operational work, we had a direct tie to a member of the Senior Executive Service (or "SES") and the business line for which he was responsible. I managed their agency-wide intern program. If they needed to do contingency planning or strategic planning or any kind of mass change (restructure, realignment outside the agency, mass early retirements) we were their folks. And we LOVED it. Loved this SES, loved his staff, loved working for and with them. As is the nature of the beast within the Federal government, things changed AGAIN. And not for the better. Now our office is left without that support assignment, and it's my true and honest belief that our senior HR management (who is not co-located with us) absolutely has no idea what we're doing. It's thought that we're not busy. Nothing could be farther from the truth. We are a BRAC site. We have taken it upon ourselves to get down and dirty with the States of Missouri and Kansas as they find ways to use Federally appropriated funds to minimize the impact on all of us. There's so much to do and never enough time to get it all in. And now there's this DEU reassignment. DEU work is not of interest to me. It's rote. It's continually looking at and analyzing words on paper. There's not a human tie to it. They keep their doors shut, they don't take incoming calls. Gone will be the days of my interns and being called by anyone asking for my help. God, even though it's been several years since the operational work we performed was absorbed from the central sites (i.e., us and a handful of others) to one big "mega center," we STILL get calls from people asking us if we can "just do this one disciplinary letter" or "just help us this once." They love and trust us, and that feeling is more than mutual. That all changes next Wednesday. I am going to be unofficially reassigned to the DEU then. I won't be able to "do" anything until I receive DEU certification training next month, but I believe they'll have me doing lots of preliminary work (i.e., learning the system) until such time as OPM has approved me to do DEU work. Let me stop myself here because I want to make a few points clear before I continue. Yes, this is still "a job." Yes, I am going to be paid at a very handsome salary (GS-12, step 03...if you're so inclined to figure out how much I make, well, have at it) to do intern-level (hell, clerical-level work). Yes, it's a wonderful new opportunity to gain a brand new "hard skill" to put in my "HR toolkit." But it's not the KIND of work I want to be doing. It's not open...not personal. And, quite honestly, I am worried that I will find it boring. I do need to give it a shot, and my colleague who is already down there promises me that it's interesting. But it's just a hard wall right to my face that my professional life as I now know it is dying. This reassignment is the first official step to the end of my time with my agency. This is it for me...well, until I get something else or the BRAC kicks me out the door, whichever happens first. I so, so wanted that intern coordinator position. That ICTAP match really hurts. STILL. I was a wreck at the office Friday, and in all actuality, I am dreading tomorrow. Everyone keeps telling me that this is all going to be OK...that it's part of a bigger plan. And I know they're right. God laid an extraordinary set of circumstances on my path that led me straight to Kansas City, to my GS-12, to my husband, and to this precious life that I love so dearly. He'll take me to where I am supposed to be...where my work and my energies can make other people happy and better their lives. I just hope that it's sooner...MUCH sooner...than later. In the meantime, I just have to try to be open-hearted and open-minded about the DEU. I keep hoping that I'll be pleasantly surprised. We'll see.

If you read that entire paragraph, may warm, delicious cookies fall straight from Heaven into your lap.

Have a fantastic rest-of-the-day, everyone.

The "Idol" Bug Has Bitten!

2006-02-23T22:36:00.000-05:00

Hello Everyone,

I'm just here for a second...just got home from a dinner date with the gal who will be replacing me as President of our sorority's alumnae chapter. I'm off to watch "Idol" in just a moment, but I wanted to post my predictions beforehand. As you know, I really never cared much for the show until last season. Bo just blew me away. Completely knocked me off my feet. As I watched Bo (and Carrie and Vonzell and the others last season), I felt like I was a witness to dreams as they came to life. I love that sort of thing...love being caught up in the excitement and the joy. It's very tangible and real to me. I feel the excitement their families feel, feel the nerves they themselves feel, and feel the excitement overall. I mean, remember who you're talking to here, people. I'm the girl who goes over the top with excitement whenever one of her favorite singers or actors is nominated for this-or-that-award (be it an Emmy, a Grammy, you name it). And those people are accomplished professionals. These contestants are young, fresh, and new. How exciting for them to get this chance. I hope each of them enjoy every second of the ride.

Now on to my predictions. From the start, my heart went immediately to Taylor Hicks. Through and through, he is a class act. Just a beautiful person and a pure joy to watch. He carries himself so, so well. He loves music, loves to make people happy, and is just all around sensational. He makes my heart leap. Without exception, he is absolutely my top pick for the men. Hands down, my choice for the women is Paris Bennett. Wow, wow, and wow. She's only 17, and she sings with the might and power of someone easily twice her age. She is fantastic. My prediction is that Paris and Taylor will be the two finalists this May. Choosing between them will be a tough task.

Here's my round-up of the first two days of competition. The women first...

It was very obvious that each of these women (well, maybe not Paris or Mandisa, but everyone else) had a huge case of the jitters. Understandably so. I think each of them is amazingly brave and courageous for doing this. That said, I will say that some of them really are in over their heads and don't deserve to be there. My first such person is the lovely Stevie. I understand that she is classically trained as an opera singer, and I think that Simon was right to question why she chose to look to pop versus staying in the opera field. Any beauty in Brenna's voice is immediately overshadowed by her ugly personality. "Let's make good television," she said. I truly believe that she's not in this competition because she loves to sing and wants to perform and rise to "Idol" status. My heart says that she's only in this for the recognition and the fame and to become a household name. Unfortunately for her, the "household name" she's earning isn't very becoming, and she's showing herself to be a very, very ugly person. This competition is "the stuff that dreams are made of." Young people watch this and think to themselves that they, too, could someday do this. Her conduct and temperament just don't fit the mold here. She's not a star. I didn't have much of an opinion of Ayla, Becky, and Heather's performances. They're all talented and lovely young ladies. None of them, however, really reached forward and really had that "shine-like-a-star" quality. Mandisa, on the other hand, completely had the shine. Shine and then some. What a lovely, lovely young woman...inside and out. She's got a voice as big as the hills, and she's not allowing any cruel stereotypes about what a woman "should" look like hold her back. I love her. Absolutely love her. Melissa, I could have lived without. The song choice was horrible, and I honestly felt like, for her sake, the song needed to end as soon as it began. I certainly understand the like-ability factor that Kellie brings to the table and I personally grieve for the sadness in her life, but she's just not amongst my favorites here. Lisa was a tiny, amazing little powerhouse, and Kinnik was wonderful. I think Katharine is beautiful physically and has the voice to match, but I disagree with Simon that her performance was the best of the entire evening. Paris had that, hands down. Mandisa was a close second.

Now the men...

I absolutely agreed with Simon that David made a bad decision. He handled that song poorly, he was outside his element in a big way, and he just didn't seem to take himself or the competition very seriously. It's a shame, too, because he can really, really sing. Will is darling, but I can't escape the whole "Peter Brady" thing. Good grief - talk about cut from the same cloth! He was OK vocally. Just OK. I absolutely fail to understand Bucky's appeal. I don't really think he can sing, to be blunt and truthful, and the whole "I-am-a-southern-country-rocker" schtick is pissing me off. Someone else has already done that, Bucky. His name is Bo Bice. Don't even try to emulate him because you (and everyone else who tries to do so) will fail. Miserably. Although I wouldn't say he failed miserably, I will say that Patrick absolutely chose the wrong song. Great song, don't get me wrong, but not for him. Great all the way around was Chris. Great, great, great. So was Gedeon. Elliott was wonderful as well. Ace is delicious. Oh. My. God. Absolutely gorgeous. One of the most fresh-faced and gorgeous young men I've seen in a LONG time. He also has an amazing set of pipes on him. I don't think he stood out vocally last night (although he looked MIIIGHTY fine and I was experiencing a slight inability to breathe!). He's got the potential to be amazing and I think he's solid in this competition. I feel horrible saying this, but I really don't think this is the place for Bobby. He's adorable and a true showman, but his vocals weren't that strong, and I just don't think he belongs here. It's not his niche. "Idol" is about a certain kind of person. And, as dear as I think Bobby is, he's not that person. I feel the same way about Kevin. I admire his courage. Usually people who aren't traditionally attractive shy away from things like this. God knows I would. But, God love him, he's gone out there and given 500% and he's very strong. Sway is also strong, but eeek, the song choice. I get the sentimentality of the song (and you have to admit that his dear old uncoordinated dad was adorable out there in the audience), but to take on Phillip Bailey and that hiiiigh falsetto, zoikes. But he's a ladykiller and he's got the like-ability factor.

My predictions:

The women who will leave tonight: Stevie and Brenna.

The men who will leave tonight: David and Bobby (although it really should be Bucky...for some reason, he's really appealing to the masses...whatever.)

The final six women will be: Paris, Mandisa, Lisa, Kellie, Katharine, and Kinnik (Kinnik SHOULD be one of the final six, but I fear that Ayla or Becky will be there in her stead simply because they are more lovely physically).

The final six men will be: Taylor, Chris, Gedeon, Elliott, Ace, and Sway.

The final two contestants will be Taylor and Paris, and I absolutely cannot guesstimate or predict who will win.

Off to watch the show and see how well I did with my predictions! Thank God for DVR!

Happy Birthday To Me, Part Deux...

2006-02-22T20:30:00.000-05:00

Today's my birthday! 34 years ago today, I was born. Thanks so much to all of you for the birthday greetings. It was a good day. My hubby's making me a yummy late birthday dinner, and I had a wonderful birthday lunch with the beautiful women in my office. I am so blessed to be surrounded by love. One of my colleagues made me a homemade-from-scratch red velvet cake, and it was amazing. I'll share the recipe with you here in just a moment. My parents sent me a gorgeous card and a beautiful burgundy purse. I am happy. :)

OK, you HAVE to try this recipe. TRUST me. It's YUMMY!

CAKE

1. ½ cup of butter
2. 1 ½ cups of sugar
3. 2 eggs
4. 2 tablespoons of cocoa
5. 2 ounces of red food coloring
6. ½ teaspoon of salt
7. 1 teaspoon of vanilla
8. 1 cup of buttermilk
9. 2 ½ cups of sifted cake flour
10. 1 ½ teaspoon of baking soda
11. 1 tablespoon of vinegar

Preheat your oven to 350º. Grease and flour your 9 ½” by 11” cake pan.

Cream together the butter, sugar, and eggs. Make a paste with the cocoa and food coloring, and add it to the creamed mixture. Mix the salt and vanilla with the buttermilk and add it to the mixture, alternating it with the flour. Mix the baking soda and vinegar together and fold this mixture in to the main mixture.

FROSTING

1. 5 tablespoons of flour
2. 1 cup of milk
3. 1 cup of granulated sugar
4. 1 cup of butter
5. 1 teaspoon of vanilla

Cook the flour and milk together over a low flame until it turns thick, stirring constantly. Cool. Cream together the sugar, butter, and vanilla until it’s light and fluffy. Add the cooled flour mix and beat until the frosting is of spreading consistency.

Enjoy!

Will You Skate With Me?

2006-02-21T21:59:00.000-05:00

Remember the 80s? Bright neon clothing and leg-warmers? The cute Duran Duran and Wham! boys? MTV when it actually played music videos? I had such a flashback to that time tonight. Erin's school had a skating party tonight. Yes, my friends, a skating party. God, I remember skating parties! Once a month at the horrible (another story for another day) Catholic school I attended, we were allowed to wear jeans and leave school early for a skating party. And it was all the rage. Who skated with whom? Did they play your favorite song? It was such a big, big deal. I also went every weekend with my friends to skate for a few hours and ogle at any cute boys who happened to be there that day. It's funny...looking back on that now. Tonight, the kids seemed all about just movingmovingmoving (or, rather, trying reaaaaallly hard not to fall down!) And the parents...the other children of the 80s...were out there too! Falling and laughing and consoling little injured ones. It was just so surreal. And they even played 80s' music! Wow. Miss Erin did pretty well for her first time out. She was pretty fearless at first! We had those kiddy, strappy-skate shoes on her, and she literally took off! Those didn't go as fast as she wanted, so we switched her over to the "big girl skates." Those, we found out, did go fast. VERY fast. And it scared the hell out of her! (Me too!) We switched her back to the kiddy skates and I shot some awesome video of her and her father out on the floor shaking their stuff. It was adorable to watch. Wow, was the music always that loud? And were the lights always so flashy? I am getting old, my friends. :)

It's funny that this little skating party should happen today. Don't ask me why, but the Myspace bug bit me and I started my own site there. (Now don't holler - I promise I will not abandon this blog!!!!) I just love that so many different people, to include my Bo Bice, are there. That's a rather nifty little site there. Anyhoo, I did some searches and found some of the people that I went to that horrible Catholic school with. My time at that school was probably the most unpleasant time in my life, and seeing those names (and photos!) on Myspace bubbled up some old memories. It's funny how things stick with you. I will be 34 tomorrow. I "graduated from eighth grade" (yes, we actually had eighth grade graduations - don't ask) in 1985. That's over 20 years ago. And yet a lot of the bitter taste that experience and some of those people left in me still resonates. You know, I see myself bloviating here and boring you all to tears with this retched story of pre-teen angst and misery, so I'll shut up before I go any further. Sorry, everyone. Oh, and please stop by and check out my Myspace site. If you're there, please "Friend" me. My poor little "Friends" section is bare!

OK, I am off to watch tonight's "American Idol" episode that I DVR'd. Sorry for the "peppy downward turn" to my blog entry tonight! Hope that you all have a great night.

Happy Birthday To Me, Part Une...

2006-02-20T11:45:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone. Hope that you're all doing well and that you've had a great last several days. Lots been goin' on 'round here. Have a seat...this promises to be a l-o-o-o-o-o-o-n-g blog post.

Let's talk happy stuff first.

Saturday night, Curt's parents threw a very exclusive "family only" birthday party for us (Curt's birthday was the 7th and mine's coming up this week). My M-I-L is an AMAZING cook, and she made us a scrumptious homemade spaghetti casserole (YUM). It was a good time on a very COLD night. Yikes, it's been cold here. I am NOT cut out for this kind of weather, and given the fact that I've lived in the midwest for all but three years of my life, you'd think I'd be used to it by now. Ah, that's another blog post for another day. Back to the birthday. We had a wonderful time. Of course, no birthday would be complete without a homemade card, so that's exactly what I made for my sweetie. SU products used include the soon-to-be-retired (and very adorable) "Alphabet Soup" stamp set, Real Red ink, cardstock in Handsome Hunter and Barely Banana, The Tearing Edge, Stampin' Dimensionals, and one of each of the Rich Regals buttons (Handsome Hunter, Night of Navy, Bravo Burgundy, and Ballet Blue). The white cardstock is from Michaels.

Here are the gifts from my husband and parents-in-law:

To go with the Sizzix machine he bought me for Christmas, Curtis bought me an organizer for my dies, which was very needed. You'd collapse in horror if you saw how unorganized my craft desk is. He also got me season five of my beloved "Sex And The City." He told me that he wanted me to have the entire show before it became unavailable commercially. I really, really loved that show, so that's a special gift to me. My wonderful parents-in-law bought us a yummy waffle iron (which makes FANTASTIC waffles...we indulged yesterday morning!). Saturday was a nice night. Sure feels good to be loved by such amazing people.

In the middle of my little photo shoot (taking the above photos), Miss Maggy decided to crash the set. :) Here she is in all her scene-stealing glory:

"What? You don't really think I care if you're taking photos, do you? I want to come over and say hi!"

Now, on to the not-so-good. As you faithful readers know, my agency is scheduled for closure in 2008 via the BRAC (Base Realignment and Closure) process. It's not been a pleasant experience for me...and that's "me the human" and "me the management official." I'm trying so hard to balance fear with hope and apprehension with faith. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. For a few weeks, I was one of a handful of HR folks working our agency's BRAC website and researching and posting questions and answers about the BRAC and every possible contingency known to man (moving with your work, keeping retirement post-BRAC, etc. ad nauseum). I approached all of this very clincally...very managerially. I recited rote managerial dictates about the BRAC and the agency's position on what we will and won't do and when. I was a management mouthpiece. I thought like a "management official" and not a "BRAC-impacted employee." That all worked fine, and then last Thursday happened.

(Before I tell you about last Thursday, I need to give you non-Feddy sorts a quick once-over about ICTAP. Some folks call it "I-SEE-TAP," and others, like me, call it "ICK-TAP." It's the Interagency Career Transition Assistance Plan. How do I sum up ICTAP in less than a jillion words? Basically, if you've lost your job via a BRAC or a reduction-in-force, you can play the ICTAP card when applying for a new Federal job. Basically, if you're well-qualified and, in most cases, two years hasn't elapsed since your involuntary separation, the agency HAS to give you the job, period. It doesn't matter how many other folks are out there. It doesn't matter that some poor schmuck is better qualified for the position. If you're deemed "well qualified" for the job and are an ICTAP-eligible candidate, you get the job. End of discussion.)

I've been putting in for jobs here and there, almost all Federal, and really didn't see any one that just stuck out as a "JEN JOB." At first, I thought I'd be more conservative about my job hunting. Sure, I'd look, but I didn't think I should leap and take the veryfirstjobIsaw just to escape the BRAC. Rather, I wanted to wait until "that perfect job" came open...the one that had "Jen written all over it." Well, that job opened last January. And I applied. And everyone in my work and personal lives thought "Ohmygoodness - if ever there was a job that screamed your name, THIS IS IT!" It was an intern coordinator position, GS-0301-12 (so I'd keep my grade and pay), and the position solely focused on working with interns and students. That's been a HUGE chunk of what I've done in the past six years with my agency. Hell, even some of my current and former interns were ALLLLL about contacting this new potential job and telling them how wonderful I am. I thought I had it in the bag.

And then Thursday happened. They had an ICTAP match.

An ICTAP match. Can you believe it?

Yes, my friends, someone in the Kansas City commuting area was either BRAC'd or RIF'd within the last two years and took this job right out from beneath me. I never had a chance. I'll spare you the long story about how both my boss and I intervened here to try to find out what the hell happened. She and I both kept replaying in our minds over and over that there couldn't possibly be an ICTAP-eligible candidate in this area. There've not been any BRACs until this last one, and none of the two KC agencies affected by this round of BRAC have closed yet. That'd mean that either someone worked for another Federal agency here in town and was RIF'd (which is a strong possibility) or someone was RIF'd from another Federal job outside the KC commuting area and moved here. I believe it was the latter, and to say that I am beyond heartbroken about it doesn't even scratch the surface. I spent most of Thursday either in complete shell-shock or crying. And yes, before you tell me that the job was never mine to have, I know that. But it was such a perfect fit for me. And in the same damned building I am working in now! (Different agency, but still.) It just really hurt my pride. My boss and a dear friend/colleague both said to me separately, "You know Jen, look at it another way. You never had a chance here. There's nothing you or anyone could have done to have gotten you this job. At least you didn't interview for the job and THEN not get it. You were never even in the running." And they're right. But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. Oh well. God brought me here, so He has to have a greater plan here. This all makes sense to Him. Hopefully soon, it will make sense to me, too.

Adding insult to injury here is that I myself am a BRAC-impacted employee. Not YET. I mean, I've not been separated yet. But the separation is coming. The BRAC is law now, and there's no going back. However, my agency (and understandably so) has a mission to perform. And work needs to continue in order for our site (and ultimately, our agency) to continue. To that end, the decision has been made not to give ICTAP eligibility letters to us until 120 days prior to closure. Had I had this wonderful "Notice Of Expected Separation" letter, I too would have been an ICTAP match for that job. And I probably would have gotten it, too. And that makes something already painful hurt that much more.

So there you have it. Back to the job hunt board goeth I. Pray for me, folks...please. I need to find a new job and start this new chapter of my life before the BRAC starts it for me.

I'm off. Gonna go shopping and enjoy my day off. Be well everyone!

Happy Valentine's Day!

2006-02-14T22:02:00.000-05:00

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! I hope that you and your snuggle partner of choice have had a romantic and wonderful day!

My Valentine and I had a wonderful evening. He made me a yummy dinner of sherried pork and long grain rice (ask me for the recipe - you won't be sorry!) and spoiled me with beautiful gifts:

Peach roses hold a very special significance in our relationship. They were a pre-Valentine's Day gift, arriving in our home on February 12th. :) The other gifts were actual Valentine's gifts. A little romance, a little chocolate, a little Idol (hi Bo!), and Jen's a happy girl. Check out the MINT Pirouette cookies and the adorable little fondue-for-two set. :)

In addition to the roses, another surprise "early Valentine" made it's way to me yesterday via the United States Postal Service. I have been "Secret Pal'ing" a wonderful woman on the west coast, and I've had a ball chatting with her and spoling her. Imagine my surprise when she turned the tables on me and sent ME a gift! :) It was just her way of thanking me for being so kind. Made my heart leap. Wow. What a wonderful thing to do - care for the sake of caring! Check out what she sent to me:

And, of course, no Valentine's Day could be complete without a homemade Valentine!

This was one of my Valentine gifts for my Valentine. :) Of course, I used my new Sizzix machine (LOVE that thing!) and lots of Stampin' Up products. Those SU products included the new "Alphabet Soup" stamp set, "Real Red" ink, cardstock in "Real Red" and "Pretty In Pink," and Stampin' Dimensionals. The curvy scissors and cream-colored cardstock are from Michaels.

And with that, I am off to snuggle with my Valentine! Happy Heart Day, friends!

A Proud Mommy

2006-02-09T19:03:00.000-05:00

Well, today was Erin's first-ever parent-teacher conference. Let it be known that I am officially the mother of the world's smartest and most amazing four-year-old! Her teacher told us over and over that she was thrilled with Erin...that she was "very smart for her age" and that she was an "absolute joy" to have in class. She also repeated more than once that Erin "cracked them up" (meaning her and her assistant teachers) with all of her funny little stories. Her teacher gave us a sheet that detailed all of the essential skills for little ones of that age (i.e., self-maintenance, recognition of letters/numbers, ability to understand and replicate simple patterns, etc.) and Erin passed each with flying colors. She excelled in social interactions (and anyone who knows me will say "Gee Jen, I wonder where she got THAT from!"). It wasn't halfway into the meeting that I broke down and just cried. Cries of pride and joy. I am so proud of her. The whole conference (and seeing their huge classroom and knowing that this is where Erin spends her days) just overwhelmed me. It did my heart good. I am all gooey inside.

We leave tomorrow for our Marriage Encounter weekend, and we're really excited. Erin's godparents (a devout Catholic man who works with Curtis and his even-more-so devout and lovely wife) bought the weekend as a gift for us last year after they went on an Encounter weekend themselves. We are really excited.

Sissie received my square and included it in her beautiful comfortghan for her friend with breast cancer. I am so honored to be a part of this blanket. Rose remains in my heart and prayers, and I hope this beautiful afghan warms her, body and soul, and that she returns to health soon.

Thanks for leaving me comments, everyone. I love comments, so keep 'em comin'! Have a great weekend, everyone!

Happy, Happy Day!

2006-02-07T20:40:00.000-05:00

Two wonderful people in my life are celebrating the anniversaries of their births today. How blessed am I to have these amazing people in my life!

Happy birthday to my beautiful, kind, selfless, warm, and incredibly loving husband. I am so blessed and thrilled to have shared these last six years with you. My prayer is that we share many more years of health and love and life together. I am so honored to be your lady. I love you forever, Curtis.

And happy birthday too to one of my oldest and dearest friends, Lynda. Although there are many miles between us, she is never far from my thoughts and will always and forever be "the sister God never gave me."

I love you guys! Happy, happy, happy birthday!

First February Friday!

2006-02-03T21:56:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone! It's hard to believe that it's February already! Hope that you and yours are all doing well.

All is going well on our end of the planet. Work's slowed down a bit for me (now that our implementation of the new DoD personnel system is on hold, thank GOD). I didn't get the GS-0201-12 position that I'd applied for. Like an idiot, I only applied externally (via their DEU) and not internally as well. I have it on good authority (namely from one of the HR Specialists staffing the job) that they were hammered with veterans. Vets block non-vets on DEU certs, and, well, that means Jen doesn't get the job. I should have known better than that. Next time, I'll definitely apply externally AND internally. On well, a close friend today summed it up perfectly - "it just wasn't meant to be, Jen." She's right. There's a new job out there for me someplace. I hope. I really want to beat this BRAC before it beats me. This has been a horrendous experience for all of us. I hope and pray that I'll never have to go through this again.

I learned this week that one of my dearest and oldest friends recently suffered a miscarriage. I ask that you, my friends, please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. As potential parents go, it most certainly doesn't get any better than her. My prayer is that she, soon, will become a mother to a very blessed and lucky little one. Please join me in that prayer.

I'm off for a late dinner with my family unit, but before I go, here are some photos to share....

Remember around Christmas-time when I said that I'd soon be taking another stab at Beth's Little Star Afghan? Well, I took my stab, and it actually came out quite well. I am really proud of it.

This time, I stuck to Beth's pattern exactly and didn't do any of the modifications that were posted over at Crochetville. Maybe that was my downfall before. Anyway, it wasn't anywhere near as difficult as I remembered it being, and I'll make one again in a heartbeat the next time I need a special baby gift. I used Red Heart's Super Saver yarns in "Royal" and "Bright Yellow" and, I believe, a "K" hook.

Today, I got my first gift from my new Secret Pal! Check it out!

She made me two gorgeous homemade cards (which are wonderful to get...I'm usually the giver of homemade cards, so it's a nice switch!). She also sent me a gorgeous purple journal and a cute "to do" pad (which I'll put to good use at the office!). And of course, yarn! Two skeins of Lion Brand's Lion Boucle in "Denim" and two skeins of Lion Brand's "Fun Fur Prints" in "Tropical." I am a happy girl who loves her new SP! Thank you, SP! :)

Finally, check out this neat little "wordsmith" I found at my friend Keri's blog:

And that's all, folks! Hope that you have a great Friday night and a wonderful weekend. I've got sorority stuff tomorrow afternoon (and Miss Maggy's got an early vet visit scheduled for the morning), and we're headed off to a little Super Bowl party on Sunday. Be well and healthy, friends.

Kettle Corn And Bloggin', Baby!

2006-01-24T22:13:00.000-05:00

Greetings Blogosphere! Yes, your favorite minty fresh blog neglecter (is that a word?) has returned. As always (blah, blah, blah), I am sorry that it's been so long since I've posted (blah to the n'th power) and I hope you're all happy, healthy, and well (blah extraordinaire).

We are all doing very well. Healthy and happy. Erin is loving being a student, and we're so enjoying hearing all her little stories and seeing all of her little craft projects. Her first parent-teacher conference is next month, and we're excited to go and see her little classroom and talk with her teacher. Later this week, her school is hosting a "Cakes And Karaoke" event with Chris Cakes. Wow - our first school event as parents! :) Whether or not Miss Erin will sing karaoke is anyone's guess, but I sure am looking forward to seeing her in her new "natural habitat" and hopefully meeting some other mommies and daddies, too.

No new BRAC news, but we recently learned that all plans to implement (hell, to even TEACH) the new DoD personnel system are on hold. After all that travel and all that preparation, here we are delayed...until October!! Shame on me for saying this, but I hopehopehope that I am out of there and well in to a new, more amazing job by then. I know that all of this exposure and training is good for me...it's good for me professionally and it makes me more impressive to other non-DoD Feddy HR folks, but yeesh, enough already. At least I'm not TDY this week to Boise with one of my colleagues! Yes, she's off in Spudsville and our boss is on a cruise in the Caribbean somewhere, leaving yours truly to spread minty freshness throughout her little HR office. Lucky me.

More news on the work front. Last week, I attended a local Federal Executive Board subcommittee meeting and did some "Jen-networking." It was a good experience. I always love coming together with other Feddy HR types (I love that phrase - "Feddy HR types!") and talking shop. Hopefully, some good will come of it.

What else is there to share with you...? My new SP is a sweetheart! I am really enjoying EMAILing her and getting to know her. Now I just wish the gal I am SP'ing would respond to my messages! Maybe when she receives her first package from me, she'll respond. Sure hope so.

That leads me to...PHOTOS! Here we go, folks. Feast your big browns (blues, greens, etc.) on these very long overdue photos:

This is one of two crocheted gifts I gave Mom this past Christmas (yes, I know I'm late in uploading...shoot me!) I used FOUR skeins of Noro Kureyon and a "J" hook to make "Michelle's Crocheted Cell Phone Holder," a felting pattern that I bought while I was in Columbus. Note how H-U-G-E the bag is compared to my teeny tiny little cell phone! Unfortunately, I didn't take any shots of the bag post-felting. I've asked Mom and Dad to send one post haste, and I'll share it with you as soon as I get it.

Here's a sweet RAOK surprise I received in the mail last Saturday. Thanks so much to my new friend
Lu for the gorgeous Millefili Fine yarn.

Here are my two newest Stampin' Up creations. The top card is a "thank you" (rather, "merci") card for Lu for the gorgeous yarn! The bottom card is for my new Secret Pal, and I'll include it when I mail off her first big SP SURPRISE this weekend! SU products used on the cards include cardstock in Bravo Burgundy (both cards), White and Lavender Lace (Lu's) and Mellow Moss (SP's). Bravo Burgundy ink and buttons were used on both cards, as was The Tearing Edge. I used SU's white narrow organdy ribbon on the bottom card, and the glue dots and colored pencils aren't from SU. Lu's card was made with the "Paris In The Spring" stamp set, and my SP's card was made with the "Sincere Salutations" set.

Here are some scarves blocking! See the next photo for more info!

Here are the two scarves I made for the 2006 Red Scarf Project. And yes, I realize that one of them is not red. :) Not entirely red, but it's got red IN it, and that counts, right? The all-red one was made with "Red Hot" Red Heart Super Saver yarn and a "K" crochet hook. I followed the pattern entitled "Textured Scarf Project" from the "Crocheting For Dummies" book. It was pretty easy to follow (hence the "dummies" nomer, perhaps? *grin*), and the texture is really cool. Me likey. The second scarf was made free-hand with an "L" hook (yowza, dat's a big hook!) and Lion Brand's GORGEOUS Lion Boucle yarn in "Jellybean." I hope the recipients of my scarves enjoy wearing them as much as I enjoyed making them.

My new friend Sissie from Crochetville asked that we contribute 12" crochet squares to her so that she could stitch them together to make a comfortghan for a friend with breast cancer. Here's mine. I used a "K" hook and "Petal Pink" Red Heart Super Saver yarn. The square is the "Lacy Cross" square from Jan Eaton's awesome book, "200 Crochet Blocks For Blankets, Throws, And Afghans" book. I will say a prayer over this square tomorrow for Sissie's special friend, and I ask that you say one as well. Her friend is only 30. 30. So, so sad. Lots of prayers and love needed.

And lots of SLEEP needed, which is where I am going riiiight now. As soon as I finish this taaaaaaaaaaaaasty kettle corn, I am off to Dreamyland! Sorry it took so long to update, folks. And yes, my SP, I know I owe you an EMAIL! :) I will send one tomorrow. I promise. Have a great night and a great Wednesday, friends!

SP7 Questionnaire And An Update

2006-01-08T10:38:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone. I need to get my SP7 questionnaire posted, so please pardon the quic-update-and-run. Mom's doing better, we had a dinner party last night (went well - smoked barbecued ribs, wild rice, baked beans, fruit salad, green salad, focaccia, and cherry cobbler), a girlfriend is starting her Arbonne business today and I am going to her home to support her, and I've got to get a birthday gift for my father (January 12th is the big day). There's your "Jen-Update-In-A-Nutshell." Now, the questionnaire...

1. Are you a yarn snob (do you prefer higher quality and/or natural fibers)?
Do you avoid Red Heart and Lion Brand?
I am becoming a yarn snob, but I can’t ever see myself totally avoiding RH and LB. I just love their wide availability and basic cost friendliness. The only yarn I can’t use at all is Lion Brand Homespun. I can’t see the stitches. I do love to go to higher-end yarn stores and feel and play with all the gorgeous yarns, but have yet to really use them for myself. I *have*, though, used two higher-end yarns on gifts for others and they both blew RH and LB right out of the water - and those were Lorna’s Laces Shepherd Bulky and Plymouth Baby Alpaca Grande. I am not really answering this question, am I? OK, here’s the answer. I am a yarn snob in training. How’s that?

2. Do you spin? Crochet?
Crochet. I’ve never spun and I am trying to learn to knit to no avail. I can figure out how to knit, but I can’t get the stupid stitch off the needle without stretching whatever it is that I am trying to knit.

3. What do you use to store your needles/hooks in?
My SP6, Mindy, bought me a gorgeous crochet hook holder, and that’s what I use. Looks like it came from Asia. It’s gorgeous and soft and I love it. Before then, I was using a Mary Kay zippered lipgloss holder (hey, it worked!)

4. How long have you been ~~knitting~~ crocheting? Would you consider your skill level to be beginner, intermediate or advanced?
A few years now. I'd consider myself an advanced beginner.

5. Do you have an Amazon or other online wish list?
Yep, and both of my wishlists are posted here on my blog. Just look to the right under the "More About Your Minty Hostess(tm)" section.

6. What's your favorite scent? (for candles, bath products etc.)
Spearmint, vanilla, eucalyptus, cookies (oatmeal, chocolate chip), ocean/rain, wines (merlot, white zinfandel), blueberry muffin. Basically, anything that smells minty, clean, like nature, or like homemade goodies.

7. Do you have a sweet tooth? Favorite candy?
I love to eat and it shows. :) I am not much of a chocolate fiend, but I do love milk chocolates…can’t get much in to dark chocolate. I can’t stand honey, so I always have to double-check to make sure that whatever I get doesn’t have honey in it. I do love those Biscoff cookies that you get on airlines, and I also love oatmeal scotchies and caramel/chocolate combos.

8. What other crafts or Do-It-Yourself things do you like to do?
I am an avid card maker, and I am a Stampin’ Up junkie.

9. What kind of music do you like? Can your computer/stereo play MP3s? (if your buddy wants to make you a CD)
Yes, my PC and car stereos can play MP3s. I like all kinds of music, except for the really hard metal/rock and most rap. Anything that's violent or excessively vulgar is a huge turn-off for me. I really have a wide musical taste gap, and what I listen to depends on my mood. Here are some of my favorites - Bo Bice, Josh Groban, Secret Garden, Olivia Newton-John, Kevin Kern, Jim Brickman, ABBA, Journey, Sade, Rob Thomas, Peabo Bryson, Melissa Etheridge, k.d. lang, Gorky Park, The Scorpions, Daryl Hall, Kenny G., Jet, Cake, Faith Hill, Wynonna Judd, and the list goes on and on. My XM Radio dial is almost always tuned to smooth jazz, so I'd probably classify that as my all-time favorite type of music.

10. What's your favorite color? Or--do you have a color family/season/palette you prefer? Any colors you just can't stand?
I really love all colors, so this one’s easy. If I have to choose favorites, I’d say greens (emerald thru mint/lime), pinks, purples, and blues are my favorites. I do like off-reds (like smokey reds, rose-reds) too.

11. What is your family situation? Do you have any pets?
Wonderful spousal unit (also age 33, married almost 5 years); amazing daughter (4 years old); darling Boston Terrier (1 year old).

12. Do you wear scarves, hats, mittens or ponchos?
Yes to all. Well, I don’t wear ponchos, but only because I’ve never bought one. I’d love to have one, though.

13. What is/are your favorite yarn/s to knit with?
Lorna’s Laces Shepherd Bulky, Plymouth Baby Grande Alpaca, Patons 100% Classic Merino Wool, Lion Brand Fun Fur. I love BIG chunky yarns because they are warm, work up quickly, and the stitches are easy to see.

14. What fibers do you absolutely *not* like?
I don’t like scratchy yarns. Or thin yarns. Not a big fan of the Homespun or other curvy chunky yarns because they are difficult for me to see (I can’t ever find the stitches). I am, however, open to tips on how to use these yarns because they are so pretty! I also can’t use cashmere because I’m mildly allergic to it.

15. What is/are your current ~~knitting~~ crocheting obsession/s?
Pretty much scarves and quick gifts for others. I need to be better about making things for myself. I am dying to try crocheted socks and also a felted bag.

16. What is/are your favorite item/s to ~~knit~~ crochet?
Scarves, mittens, gifty-things.

17. What are you ~~knitting~~ crocheting right now?
I’m about 90% finished with Beth’s Little Star Afghan for my daughter in her school colors (royal and yellow) and I’m about 25% finished with a scarf for Red Scarf Project.

18. Do you like to receive handmade gifts?
Absolutely!

19. Do you prefer straight or circular needles?
When I did try to knit, I used straight needles. They were bamboo and I loved them. They were very easy to use. I’ve also tried plastic needles and they were harder to use. I’ve never tried circular needles. Are those easier?

20. Bamboo, aluminum, plastic?
Crochet hooks? Aluminim. Knitting needles? Bamboo.

21. Do you own a yarn winder and/or swift?
No.

22. How did you learn to knit/crochet?
Two women in my office taught me to crochet after one of them had made a gorgeous baby blanket for Erin when she was born. I just HAD to learn how because it was so pretty, and so they taught me. Knitting-wise, I took a class at Yarn Shop and More in Overland Park, but I’d been reading "Knitting For Dummies" and practicing for weeks prior, so that’s how I survived the class!

23. How old is your oldest UFO?
About 3 years old.

24. What is your favorite animated character or a favorite animal/bird?
Eeyore and Eric Cartman (from "South Park")

25. What is your favorite holiday?
Christmas.

26. Is there anything that you collect?
Not really. I did collect Longaberger baskets and pottery for a long time, but not so much any more. They are expensive and their quality and customer service have severely declined in the last several years. I went through an Eeyore period where I collected anything and everything Eeyore. I wouldn’t mind starting that up again.

27. What knitting magazine subscriptions do you have?
"Crochet" magazine.

28. Any books, yarns, needles or patterns out there you are dying to get your hands on?I've got lots of books on my Amazon wishlist. Hooks-wise, I'd love to get an aluminim "L" and "M" hook set, but I can't find them anywhere.

29. Are there any new techniques you'd like to learn?
I’d really love to learn to knit. I love how knitted/purled items look. They are just spectacular. I’d love to experiment more with felting.

30. Are you a sock knitter? What are your foot measurements?
I’ve never crocheted a pair of socks, but I’d really love to try. I have BIG feet (9½ wide).

31. When is your birthday? (mm/dd)
February 22nd.

Have a good day, everyone!

One Step Closer...

2006-01-06T21:28:00.000-05:00

Anyone who knows our family knows that my mother has a strong propensity for getting bronchial infections. A strong one. In late 1995, she got what we all thought was "just a cold." Within a two week period (and under the care of quite possibly the world's most incompetent physician), her "tiny cold" became full-blown double pneumonia. She was dying right in front of our eyes, and it absolutely horrified me. She refused to slow down, only staying home from work because her body shut down and she had no choice. She'd still get up to take Daddy to work, to cook, to do anything that she felt she could do. And I'd lay in bed with her, hold her, and cry and pray. On December 26th of that year (yes, this happened over Christmas), my father finally had her admitted to the hospital, where fantastic doctors and respiratory professionals returned her to health. Until the day I die, I will never stop loving those people for taking such amazing care of her and bringing her back to the life she had before she got so sick. More than once in the years that have followed, she's taken sick with a cold (as we all do), and every SINGLE time, I worry that we'll have a repeat episode. Today, we had an almost repeat episode.

I blogged not long ago that she had pneumonia, but that it was mild. She seemed to be on the mend, and appeared to be healthy when we were home for Christmas last week. All this week, she's sounded froggy voice-wise, and mentioned not feeling well. She actually took two days off in a one week period, which is UNHEARD OF for her. I knew then that she was really sick. This morning, it was a return trip to the hospital (same one, thank God). Daddy called me at the office and told me the news. They'd X-ray'd her, put her on oxygen, and taken blood to test and see what exactly was going on. Many tests, lots of oxygen, and two strong IVs later, she was released to go home with strong drugs and a stern warning to take it easy. She just has bronchitis - no pneumonia, thank God. And I am so glad that she went to the ER and got help. She's such a go-go-go getter...always on the move and never slowing down to take care of herself. Hell, today she was more worried about all of US being worried about her! That's so typical Mom...always putting everyone else first. I love her so much, and knowing that she is where she needs to be to be on the mend makes my heart so happy.

She had an amazing prayer network behind her today, and I need to come right out and make an incredibly bold statement. Without exception, I am blessed with the best friends in the world. Within moments of the news of her illness, my friends, colleagues, and sorority sisters flooded in prayers and well wishes for health for my mother. One of my very dearest friends (you've heard me call her D(2) here on my blog) not only lifted her up in prayer, but also called in a prayer request to a local Christian radio station and also to her online friends in a Christian chat/prayer group that she uses. My mother and I were both moved, almost to tears. To all of you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. As I told my beautiful D(2), you all are more amazing than you imagine.

Please keep the prayers comin', folks. Every single good thought and every single prayer makes all the difference. My prayers are with all of you, too.

Happy Preschooler!

2006-01-05T20:40:00.000-05:00

Erin's big day went well! Thanks to all of you for your well wishes and prayers. I only got to hear a tiny bit about her day over the phone. When I got home, she'd conked out! :) And she's STILL asleep, too! Can't get her up! Looks like preschool's a pretty exhausting activity! :)

Thanks again, all.

She's Growing Up So Fast...

2006-01-04T22:34:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone.

Tomorrow, my beautiful little girl starts her first day of preschool. I am both thrilled and sad, excited and horrified, and totally and completely uncertain how these past years have flown by so quickly. Erin is an amazing little girl. She's so funny and so articulate and so incredibly loving. And she is so fascinated with the world around her. I am so excited to see this new chapter in her life begin, and am scared (as are most parents in my position, I am sure) for her as well. Please, world, be kind and loving to my little angel. Let her be happy. Safe. Healthy. Warm. Surrounded by kindness and love and joy. She said a little prayer aloud tonight asking that God protect and keep her safe and help her to learn. I've been saying that prayer every day of her life and will continue to do so until I take my last breath. Tonight, I ask you, my special friends, to say that prayer for my Erin as well. I will do so for those you love, too. I'm on the verge of tears here...just so overwhelmed and happy and filled with love. My mother told me many years ago (long before there were a Curtis and an Erin) that being a parent would be a love like none other...that no human words could ever describe fully the love and joy that you feel as a parent. Truer words were never spoken. Erin has been my blessing. My miracle. Why God blessed me with this beautiful little life, I will never know. What I do know is that she IS my life. I love her so much.

(On the topic of love and prayers, please send yours to the families of the miners lost in this week's horrible tragedy. There simply are not the words to describe the heartbreak, the tragedy, all of it. I was one of the many who awakened this morning thrilled that twelve precious human lives had been saved...and one of that equal mass whose heart nearly collapsed when the truth was heard. You and I cannot begin to fathom the pain and the heartbreak that these people are experiencing. And God willing, we never will. We can, however, love and pray and send good thoughts and energies to them. And at a time like this, those beautiful people need that more than ever. Please, friends. Please.)

She's Cheesy, But Romantic Too...

2006-01-03T22:04:00.000-05:00

Cheese Pizza

Traditional and comforting.
You focus on living a quality life.
You're not easily impressed with novelty.
Yet, you easily impress others.

What's Your Pizza Personality?

(And you know what's really funny? We just called Pizza Hut for a late-night dinner delivery and my half of the pizza was cheese only. Whooda thunk it?!?)

Thanks to Becca for my RAOK today! And the balloon scene with Kendall and Zach on today's "All My Children" was about the most romantic scene I've seen on TV in ages. I love you, SoapNet! :)

We Made It!

2006-01-01T21:27:00.000-05:00

We're home safe and sound. I'm sad to see the Christmas season go, but I'm also excited about a new year ahead. Again, I hope that you and yours all have an amazing 2006!

(I'm off to collapse and relax with my spousal and offspring units and just chill out!!)

Happy New Year, Everyone!

2005-12-31T19:52:00.000-05:00

May your 2006 be prosperous, healthy, and happy!

(We're heading home tomorrow. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we take to "The Friendly Skies" once more!)

An Idiot...

2005-12-30T20:53:00.000-05:00

...but a well-meaning one.

Hi everyone. Have you ever done something well-intended but somewhat blockheaded? Well, I just had that kind of experience. My heart was in the right place, but I think I just made myself look a little bit goofy!

Tonight (after a FABULOUS dinner at Longhorn Steakhouse with Mom and Dad), Curt and Erin and I headed downtown (in the pouring rain!) to check out the downtown Christmas lights. Generally speaking, downtown Indianapolis is a colorful spectacle at this time of the year. We were hoping that Erin could take it all in, rain aside. On the ride back, Erin slipped out of a part of her booster seat, so we pulled over at a McDonald's to fix it. On the way in, I noticed a sign that said something to the effect of the following:

"Faith" and Blessed" - McDonald's welcomes your opinions and feedback. Please call us at 1-800-683-5587 and share your thoughts with us.

With no further explanation than the sign provided, my sole thought was that McDonald's was assessing the views of the public regarding the usage of the words "faith" and "blessed." Not having gone inside, I didn't see any sort of display or billboard, but I just thought that perhaps they were using those words (or were considering using them) and wanted to poll the public first before doing so. Those of you who know me or who are regular readers of my blog can probably guess exactly what I did. I am not shy or ashamed to admit that I am a proud Catholic. I love and believe in God with every beat of my heart, and absolutely hate what we as a country and a society have done as it pertains to religion in this country. We as a society, a government, a mass media, and a nation have worried and fretted so much about "offending" those who don't believe that we've come to a point in our time where the mere mention of the Father and the beliefs on whom this nation were founded are taboo. This is an amazing nation...one where folks from all walks of life are welcome. If we're smart, as people, we will embrace one another, learn and grow from each other, and become better people because of our differences. I've tried to live my life that way for the last 33 years, will continue to do so until God (oops, there's that word again!) calls me Home (and by "Home," I mean "Heaven"), and am raising my daughter to feel the same way. However, it is sickeningly heartbreaking that we are no longer allowed to embrace the faith and beliefs upon which this nation was founded (and that the majority of us embrace for our own). So I called McDonald's and gave them a piece of my mind. I commended them for daring to step out and embrace faith and its concepts in a time when our energies as a society are do misdirected and improperly diverted away from faith. I thanked them for being courageous and willing enough to stand up for what was right. I praised them for being so recognizable and loved as one of the world's most beloved companies, and let it be known aloud that I truly appreciated their consideration of re-embracing that which deserves to be embraced...faith. The lovely young woman with whom I spoke thanked me for my comments and I terminated the call. I came home anxiously looking forward to YAHOO'ing "MCDONALDS AND FAITH AND BLESSED" to see what I could come up with. Unfortunately, I came up somewhat empty-handed, and somewhat disheartened. As best I can tell from the limited websites I found, apparently the McDonald's folks had some sort of special philanthropic effort during the month of December at select Indianapolis locations. Apparently if the restaurant had a "Faith and Blessed" sign posted, they were doing something for charity. Nice...wonderful...it's always a fantastic thing to take care of others and help those less fortunate. But I was so hoping to see this amazing mega corporation taking a stand and making a bold statement in a world wherein such a moral and just sentiment would be shunned. Unfortunately, I came up empty handed. What I can do, though, is ask that you, my friends, call that number as well. Share your beliefs and let it be known that there is indeed a place for God and faith and (Heaven forbid) being "blessed" in this world. God knows we can all use a little blessing or two in our lives...

(Oh, and by the way, and the Cookie Dough Cheesecake at Longhorn is FANTASTIC. The folks at The Cheesecake Factory had better start worryin'!)

Hertz Hurtz!

2005-12-27T20:08:00.000-05:00

Friends don't let friends rent vehicles from Hertz. And that's all I've got to say about that.

Insanity In Indianapolis....

2005-12-27T09:51:00.000-05:00

(note to self...the next time you plan to take your wee one and family unit to the world's largest museum for children, do so on a workday/schoolday, at about 10-ish in the a.m. Perhaps there'll be less unsupervised children, white trash adults, and general mass chaos...)

Yep, we went to The Children's Museum yesterday. First and foremost, let me say that this place is absolutely amazing. There's so much to do and there are so many different exhibits that promote learning and self-development. It's fun for the wee ones and fun for us big folks, too. However, it most certainly is NOT fun to be surrounded by immature adults and their pooly behaved children. It is your responsibility if you are a parent to ensure that your children are safe and conducting themselves appropriately at all times. How, as a parent, someone wouldn't WANT to do that is beyond me. However, that abounded yesterday at The Children's Museum. More often than not did I see parents lagging behind their children, not disciplining them when they were running away or doing things they shouldn't or bumping in to or harming other people. Also more often than not did I see children old enough to know better completely and totally disregarding the published rules of both the Museum and its various exhibits. On more than one occasion, I feared for Erin's safety. She is a small child. Bigger kids don't often realize their own strength, and I can't tell you how many times a bigger child (or bigger kids) were doing something right around us that frightened me. As such, I really didn't enjoy the experience yesterday. Even with Curtis and I and my parents both supervising Erin, we were still victim to the misconduct of other people's children and the complete and total failure of their parents to parent them. I will definitely bring Erin back there someday, but definitely not on a day where the place is likely to be overfilled. It's just not worth it.

(And I am too much of a "Johnson County Brunette" for my own good, I guess. Yikes...some of the PEOPLE that were there. I realize this makes me sound like a total snob, but good GOD.)

OK, on to other topics. I am six rows in to Beth's Little Star Afghan and so far, so good. Also, it had been ages since I'd been to Keystone at the Crossing. YOWZA, do they have some good stores out there! I did a little post-holiday shopping at Crate and Barrel for the family unit and some selfish splurging on myself at Sephora. We're headed back out today to do more post-holiday shopping. I think a trip to the Build-a-Bear Workshop is in Miss Erin's future. :) The weather is sunny and clear for the first time since we've been home, so it should be a good day to be out!

Be well, folks!

Happy Day After Christmas!

2005-12-26T08:53:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone! Happy-Day-After-Christmas to all! We hope that you and yours had a wonderful day yesterday and that you're enjoying this special time with those that you love. Be healthy and well, friends.

We had a wonderful day yesterday. Just being home is so wonderful. The gifts are just the icing on the cake. Today, we're braving the cold and rain to take Erin to The Children's Museum. I love that place. I enjoyed going there so much when I was younger, and I am thrilled to get to see Erin experience it for herself, too. We're also planning on hitting some after-Christmas sales!

Quick crochet-catchup....the blue and gray variegated scarf you saw a few posts back was a gift for my father. He loved it. Erin loved her mittens and scarf, which I need to photograph and add here to the blog. I've long had my eye on a gorgeous "Sex And The City" hat in the "Just Hats" book, and Mom got me a ton of Lion Suede (in gorgeous "Fuchsia"!) for the project. I'm also going to try (TRY...I can't make any promises!) the "Little Star Afghan" again. This time, I'll follow Beth's directions straight and not try to do any of the improvements that folks over at Crochetville suggested. I'd love to try to have it done soon and gift it to Erin for her first day of school (one week from Thursday!!!). Her school colors are royal and gold and the mascot is "The Stars," so I can't think of a more fitting gift. Will I (a) make it in time, or more importantly (b) even get the pattern right this time? We shall see....

Off to bathe the kiddo (and hop in the shower myself). Have a fantastic day, folks!

Merry Christmas, Everyone!

2005-12-23T21:12:00.000-05:00

(That's right...I said "MERRY CHRISTMAS" and not "HAPPY HOLIDAYS." Don't like it? Find that offensive? Too damned bad. Live somewhere else.)

And with that fun and exciting little ditty, I'm off. We're heading out at 0-dark-thirty tomorrow morning, and I won't be back online again until after Christmas. Hope that you and yours have a Merry, Merry Christmas and a blessed time with those that you love.

Holiday Exhaustion

2005-12-21T15:44:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone. Wow, December 21st. I can hardly believe it.

It's been a nuts last several days. As you know, I was gone all of last week to Indianapolis for training on the new personnel system set to roll out to the DoD within the next few years. I'm giving this training on Friday here in Kansas City to the other HR folks (correction - I might be giving the training...I have no voice and the cold from hell, so we'll see.) I played hostess this week to an office Christmas party (baked, shopped for and wrapped gifts, etc.) and also got things in line for Erin's daycare Christmas party (which was today - can't wait to hear all about it when she gets home!) We got a call from the Gardner Edgerton School District and a slot in preschool has opened for our little girl. She'll be an official student this January, and we can hardly believe it! I went to meet her teacher, and it took me everything I had not to break down and bawl right there. Tears of joy, of course, but still...she's growing up. I can't believe it. It seems like just yesterday that she was this frail, tiny, 5 pound preemie who could barely take in an ounce of formula and who had to be bundled ("Baby Burrito!") all the time. Now she's a walking, talking, expressive, vibrant little person! I've been crocheting like mad in an effort to get holiday gifts finished (see below for more info), and have been baking, daking, decorating, desktop publishing (holiday letter), and writing (Christmas cards) like a wild woman. I love Christmas so dearly, but it will be so fabulous to be with my family next week totally relaxing and doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING but enjoying each other and our free time!

(Oh, before I go any further, please send your prayers and love to my Bo Bice. He had to be rushed to the hospital, I believe on Monday night, because of some bleeding stemming from his surgery earlier this year. Lots of stories are available online, I'm sure (just too lazy to Google them myself). Please just keep him in your prayers.)

We had Curt's parents and brother over Saturday night for our first official 2005 holiday celebration. I got a smattering of amazing gifts (to include the Sizzix machine I've wanted for ages and a GORGEOUS cherry wood grandfather clock). It is so wonderful to be with them. They are such fantastic people. Mom lit up when she saw the scarf I'd made for her. She loved it. And on the topic of crochet...

...check out these scarves....

These are Christmas 2005 giftables! The red one, made free-formed with a "P" hook and three hooks of Plymouth Baby Grande Alpaca (color #2160), is for our daycare provider and across-the-street neighbor who has come to mean so much to our family. I actually made this scarf in just a few days while in Indianapolis last week. The second scarf's recipient shall be anonymous right now. I made it free-formed as well (I think I used a "K" hook...maybe an "N"?) with the two hanks of the Lorna's Laces Shepherd Bulky yarn (in Jeans) that my Secret Pal Mindy purchased for me. Allow me to say right up front that Lorna's Laces Shepherd Bulky is now my new favorite yarn. It is so deliciously beautiful. The shades and hues are so vivid and bright, the yarn doesn't split, and it's soft yet warm at the same time. Unfortunately, NONE (note emphasis) of the local yarn stores in my area sell this yarn. Mindy's connected me with her source in Ohio, and I'm hoping to buy some from them in early 2006. I made two other giftable scarves for this year...one, you've seen already (the scarf I made for Curt's mom). The other is a scarf/mitten set I made for Erin. Photo to follow.

In today's mail at the office, I received my official notice that I did indeed pass the PHR examination. I absolutely still can't believe I passed it. I will enjoy shopping for a thick, gorgeous frame in which my certificate will hang proudly from my office wall, and I changed my signature block in my EMAIL to add the "PHR" title after my name. Wow. Me. Certified.

OK, I am off to fall, face-first, onto my bed and collapse. Need to beat this cold before I get on an airplane this weekend and fly home for Christmas...

I'm Home Again!

2005-12-16T21:31:00.000-05:00

I made it home, safe and sound. Thank you, God!

Lots going on this weekend! Secret Santa present to buy, gifts to wrap, desserts to make, and an informal Christmas party in our home TOMORROW NIGHT. Whatever was I thinking, trying to host guests after A WEEK ON THE ROAD?!

Merry Christmas To Me...

2005-12-14T18:38:00.000-05:00

HUMAN RESOURCE CERTIFICATION INSTITUTE

PROFESSIONAL IN HUMAN RESOURCES (PHR)

PRELIMINARY SCORE REPORT

Candidate: Jennifer MaidenNameDeleted-MarriedNameDeleted

HRCI ID: TestingIdentificationNumberDeleted

Date: 12/12/2005 10:32:25 AM

Exam: PHR

Site: 0705

Status: Pass

Congratulations! A preliminary analysis of your test results shows that you were successful in achieving the passing score established by the Human Resource Certification Institute (HRCI) for the Professional in Human Resources (PHR) examination.

Your examination responses will be verified by Professional Examination Service (PES) and your official score report will be mailed to you in approximately two to three weeks.

Thanks to all of you who loved me, supported me, encouraged me, and believed in me. I 200% didn't think I would pass this test, and I'm 900% grateful and thankful for those of you who believed in me when I didn't. You know who you are, and you are loved. Thank you.

I'm safe and sound and FREEZING MY TOOKUS OFF in cold Indianapolis. Oh, and I think Doctor Aleve and the Nursing Nazi knew what they were talking about after all. I'm not out of the woods yet, but the pain I am feeling now is nowhere NEAR what it was last week. This week's additional training on the DoD's new personnel system is going well (today we discussed my single, most favorite part of HR - adverse actions!), and it's been wonderful seeing Mom and Dad again, as always. Tomorrow, apparently the entire agency is receiving synchronized BRAC briefings telling us who-is-closing-when. Shame on me for saying this, but it might actually be nice to be here in Indianapolis receiving this briefing versus being back home where BRAC is affecting us personally (Indy's not closing - lucky them.) I'm sure there'll be much commotion Friday afternoon when I return...

Be well, friends.

-J

One Step Forward....

2005-12-11T11:02:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone. I'm feeling a little better today. I've exhausted my Lortab, unfortunately, but am taking my Naproxen per Doctor Aleve's instruction. I've even supplemented my healing with those over-the-counter self-adhesive heating jobbies. I've got a l-o-n-g day ahead, so I hope I'll be able to hang in there. Thanks for the well wishes and good thoughts, everyone....

Aleve? Are You KIDDING Me?!

2005-12-10T12:33:00.000-05:00

Hi kiddos. It's not been a good last 72 hours for your Jennifer. For about the last two weeks, I've been having some very mild lower-back pain. Think pre-menstrual pain (sorry, fellas...just think about a crampy pain in your lower back and you'll get it). Not super painful, but annoying enough to bug me. I'd pop a Tylenol or an Aleve and back to life I went. No problem, right? I figured that maybe I'd pulled something putting up our Christmas tree or that maybe I was having some residual pains from breaking my tailbone earlier this fall. That all changed Wednesday night. I bent forward just slightly to empty the dishwasher and a HUGE wave of violent pain shot through my lower left back. Same place I'd been hurting on and off for the last few weeks. I actually yelped aloud and couldn't empty the dishwasher....or sleep, or walk well or stretch or lift Erin up for a snuggle. So I ate Aleve (three of them) and Tylenol 8-Hour (two of them, just three hours after taking the Aleve) and got absolutely no relief whatsoever. I tried all of the "suggested home remedies" posted on medical websites to alleviate back pain (pressing a bag of frozen veggies against the ache, massage, hot shower, etc.) Curtis even rubbed Icy-Hot on me. Nothing worked. About mid-day yesterday, the pain started working around toward my lower left front (think ovarian location, ladies). And it got worse. Immediately I lost any thought that this pain was "just a pulled muscle" and after dinner and some Christmas shopping last night (priorities!), I headed to the ER. Almost immediately, the focus of both the doctor and my nurses was that I had a kidney stone or a kidney infection. Urine and bloodwork both disproved those theories. Then the focus changed to something more scary - ectopic pregnancy or ovarian cysts. I have suffered from Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) for ages now, but the cysts have never caused me any pain. Lower back pain is a symptom of PCOS, so it made sense that that could indeed be the problem. The whole notion of having an ectopic pregnancy just scared me senseless. That's a child...a little person. Someone whose life would never come to be. And I just cried. Cried and cried and cried. Cried because I was afraid that my child would die. Cried because I was horrified to undergo another operation. Cried because I just didn't know what the hell was going on. And then the real fun began. Without being too graphic, I'll simply say that after one foley catheter, one pelvic ultrasound, and one vaginal ultrasound, we were no closer to finding out what was wrong with me than we were when I first walked in. In sum, I passed every test they gave me. No kidney problems. No bladder problems. Not pregnant. No visible ovarian cysts. No fluids from ruptured ovarian cysts. No pelvic masses. Hormone and electrolyte levels all good. Good - healthy Jennifer. Bad - suffering Jennifer and no one knows why. So my doctor decides to send me home with (sit down, folks, this one'll blow you over) Aleve. Yes, boys and girls, that fun and exciting over-the-counter drug that did NOTHING for me when I took it initially is now what I'm sent home with. That's when the scared and exhausted Jennifer (did I mention it was 1:30 a.m.?) became the pissed off Jennifer. I'd made it abundantly clear that Aleve DID NOT WORK FOR ME. I was furious. By this time, there'd been a change in the nursing shift and the one nurse who worked most closely with me (who was an absolute doll and the best part of this entire experience) had gone home. She was replaced by the Nursing Nazi! I asked the Nursing Nazi for some additional meds...at least to get me through the night so that I could actually sleep. A muscle relaxant, perhaps? Nazi's response? "Well, I'm sure if the doctor thought a muscle relaxant was indicated, he'd have written you a prescription for one. But I'll ask, I guess." Damned right you will! I did not just spend three-and-a-half hours of my life being poked, prodded and invaded for you clowns to send me home with ALEVE! I got a stern lecture on the difference between over-the-counter Aleve and the prescription-strength Aleve (or, Naproxen) that my doctor was giving me. The prescription dose, you see, is the equivalent of taking three of the regular, over-the-counter pills. THE SAME FUCKING PILLS THAT DID NOTHING FOR ME! (Get the sense that I was a little pissed here???) She finally came back with a six-pack of (Bud Light) Lortab 5/500 Acetaminophen/Hydrocodone Bitartrate and sent me home. It's now 12 noon and I'm still in pain. It's somewhat milder, and is made less miserable by the fact that this Lortab has me darned near stoned out of my skull (which explains to you why this post probably sounds goofy and rambles...I'm drugged, I can't help it!) So I'll try to follow Doctor Aleve and Nursing Nazi's advice...take the Naproxen faithfully, get it in my bloodstream, and take it easy. But I'll admit that I don't have a whole lot of faith here. And just think, I'll be on a plane in two days! Lovely.

Other than that fun and juicy morsel of information, I don't have a whole lot to share with you. Hope you've all had a good past few days.

I'm off to snuggle up for a nap. Talk to you all later.

-Jen

"Bloggin' In A Winter Wonderland..."

2005-12-08T09:29:00.000-05:00

Greetings from the land of snow and ice! We got hit with our first major snowstorm of the season throughout the day yesterday and in the overnight hours. Here are some shots we took early this morning:

Here's our lovely outdoor table. Is it me, or does it look like a snowy bundt cake?

Here's Erin's poor Spongebob Squarepants outdoor table. Suppose the little guy's dreamin' of warmer days down in Bikini Bottom about now?

And here's a shot of the left portion of our back yard and Erin's playpark.

We're thinking we got about 10 inches. Of course, my agency thinks yet again that delaying our start time by two hours makes ALL the difference when driving in on snowy roads complete with moronic drivers crawling at snail's pace. No thanks. That's why God invented annual leave. My lovely boss called me about 10:00 last night to tell me that we were on a two-hour delay, but to watch local TV this morning for any updates. One channel showed a four-hour delay, and the others showed the two-hour delay. Doesn't matter...I'm on an eight-hour delay because I am not going in! My boss isn't in yet, so I'll keep trying to call her and let her know that I'm not braving the cold (6 degrees, HELLO!) and snow to come ALLTHEWAYIN to KC from Gardner. No thanks.

As you can see, my digital camera has finally returned to the human race. Here are some photos I've been wanting to share with you for a few days...

I told you on Monday that I was part of a Gardner/Olathe Bunko group and that December was my month to host. The ladies had a good time and everything went over very well. I won two bunkos and the passaround prize! Here's a shot of the prizes I bought for the party. Everyone seemed happy with the prizes, so I think I'z dun good. :) For the most bunkos (I had two, someone else had three - dammit!), the prize was a special, home-made gift set from Sunrise Soap here in Gardner. I love that store. Judy's fantastic, and the stuff smells SO GOOD. Let me put it to you this way, I've turned on my colleagues, sorority sisters, and Indianapolis friends on to Sunrise. They all love the stuff! And to think, I lived here over a year before I ever even stopped in! Drove by it a thousand times, but I never went in! OK, anyways, prizes! Our first place winner got a "Perfect Christmas Wallflowers Continuous Home Fragrance" in "Spice" from Bath and Body Works. Our second place winner got a "White Barn New York Mini Filled Candle" in "Fresh Baked Cookie," also from Bath and Body Works. Our third prize winner got a yummy Beanpod candle in "Cinnamon Bayberry." Our booby prize winner got a Burt's Bees lipgloss in "Strawberry." Finally, the passaround prize (which I won, and promptly traded for the cookie candle!) was a "Perfect Christmas Square Present Scented Candle" in "Spice" from Bath and Body Works. The girls all loved the prizes and the food was yummy and we had a good time. I love playing hostess!

I also mentioned before that I'd crocheted a scarf for Curt's mom as a Christmas gift. Here's a shot of it...

This came out really nicely and I am really proud of it. The Lion Brand Yarn Company sells a "Crochet For A Cause" kit consisting of a skein of "Chunky USA" yarn in "Cherry Blossom," a large hook (size "P"), and a shower card showing you how to examine your breasts. Because Mom Smith is a girly-girl and because I thought she'd like the scarf (and I want to keep her healthy!), I thought this would be a good gift for her. I really hope she likes it.

On the topic of crocheting, the Secret Pal 6 event has just ended. My wonderful secret pal was Mindy! Thanks, Mindy, for everything! :)

I think I'll try to call my boss again. More later, I'm sure. Stay warm and safe, everyone!

A Hodgepodge O' Jen

2005-12-05T18:51:00.000-05:00

Hi Everybody!

It's been a while! Hope that your December is off to a good start and that you and yours are well, healthy, and happy.

It's been an interesting last few weeks...

...Mom has beaten pneumonia yet again and I am so amazingly proud of her. We're still in need of prayers, though. Please keep them coming. Additionally, several other friends and sorority sisters need prayers for themselves and their families as well. If you would, please open your heart for "Jen's Friends And Their Families." I know they'll feel your prayers and good energies.

...Thanksgiving was, of course, wonderful. My mother-in-law is a fantastic cook, to say the very very least, and we had a wonderful afternoon and evening together enjoying our family and laughing. I had to work the next day, but Curtis didn't, so he hit the malls and did some holiday shopping. I've done some as well, and will be glad to get it all over with. I usually try to get at least half of my shopping done before the end of the fall. This year, I didn't even really start until it got cold out. I'm doing well on gifts for Curt's mom and for Erin, but not-so-well for everyone else. I've crocheted a few items and am working on a few others, so those will be gifted as well. So we'll see. I have a feeling I'll be spending the next few weekends shopping like mad.

...my beautiful Bo Bice won the award for "Best Reality Star" at last night's "VH1 Big In '05" awards show and I am so thrilled! Erin was too!

...I've totally not been studying for my PHR exam, and I am afraid it's going to come back and bite me. My test is one week from today, and, let me tell you, I will be so immensely glad to get it over with. If I don't pass, I don't pass. I've removed the self-imposed "pass-it-or-die" stress that has been looming over my head for the past several months, and have actually allowed myself to live and do the things I needed to do, while studying when I could. That's all I can do. I am not Superwoman. Should I have studied harder? Yes. Will I be spending each evening in this coming week studying? You bet. But will I kill myself if I fail? No. Now remind me of this conversation if I come back to you one week from today with the sad news of PHR failure. Someone please take ownership for reminding me that it's OK to not be 200% perfect. I can't do everything, dammit. And the sooner my small brain figures that out and stops punishing me for being human, the better.

...my sorority had our annual Christmas Brunch this past Saturday. We always have such a good time. We collected toys, books, games, and school supplies for the patients at the KU Medical Center, and had an ornament exchange for us. Because my digital camera is a hateful beast, I can't show you the photo of the toys I purchased. I got a "Learn To Crochet" kit (of course!), two stuffed animals, and three puzzles. I hope these make the lives and hearts of some of the children happy as their bodies heal this holiday season. The ornaments I got (note, I said ornamentS and not ornamenT!) were all sorority-related. One was a gorgeous, baby-soft stocking hand-knitted in our sorority's colors with a sorority ribbon laced through and the other two were handpainted sorority snow-women. So, so cute. I wish I could say that I spent a fortune on the ornament I gave for the exchange, but I simply didn't. For $3.99, Target was selling some VERY gorgeous and VERY heavy glass ball ornaments in a variety of colors (I chose an orchid-pink shade). The sister who got the ornament seemed to like it, so that's good.

...guess who gets to go on travel for work AGAIN? Yep, boys and girls, you guessed it. Your Jennifer's BACK out on the road AGAIN next week. (*sigh*) The sooner I get a new job, the happier I'll be...

...which leads me to my next point. Remember my earlier posts dreading the BRAC and boo-hoo'ing the change that it was forcing upon me? Now flash forward several months in the future and look at me. I can't WAIT to get out of here. I love it here and I love my colleagues and my work and the others that work here, but good grief, I am...nope, not gonna say it. Let's just say I am ready for a change. I've got a resume in for a GS-0201-12/13 that just closed last week at another Federal agency here in town, so we'll see. Please say a little prayer that this position comes through for me!

...I am having a silent/book party for Discovery Toys in the hopes of getting Erin some yummy Christmas toys on the cheap. So far, the show's up pretty high, but I'd like to see it up even higher. If you'd like to make an order and can pay me ASAP, please let me know. They have some adorable and wonderful toys and learning tools out there, and I've been assured an in-time-for-Christmas delivery if we get the show in pronto, so please get in touch with me if you'd like to purchase a toy for a little one in your heart!

...our neighborhood Bunko group is meeting at my house in an hour, so off I go to put the finishing touches on coconut creme pie and getting our tables set up! Have a lovely night, folks! Oh yeah, and don't forget to EMAIL me if you'd like to order from my Discovery Toys show!

Happy Thanksgiving All!

2005-11-24T07:07:00.000-05:00

Curtis, Erin, and I hope that you and yours have a blessed and wonderful Thanksgiving. We kicked off our holiday season last night by attending (for the third year in a row!) the amazing "Christmas In The Park" at Longview Lake, sponsored by KUDL radio. The weather was beautiful, and we enjoyed snuggling together and watching the beautiful fireworks choreographed to holiday music. In just a few moments, I'll be making some yummy pumpkin/cream cheese bread and a cheeseball, and we'll be heading up to St. Joseph to spend the day with Curt's family. I hope that you have a wonderful "day of thanks" today with those that you love, too.

I'd like to ask that you keep some special people in your hearts and prayers. My mom has the very beginnings of double pneumonia. This isn't the first time this has happened to her. In sum, a cold became bronchitis became pneumonia. She's being treated with some strong medication, which is wonderful, but there's no medication stronger than prayer. Please send those her way if you would. I also would like to ask your prayers for a sorority sister of mine, Jennifer (yes, I know I said I'd not use names in my blog...for a prayer request, I think it's OK). When Hurricane Katrina hit, my sorority began an "adopt-a-sister" program, pairing women harmed by the storm with those of us away from the storm and able to help. I finally got Jennifer's name and contact information, and we talked last night for the first time. She sure has an amazing spirit for someone who has gone through what she and her family have gone through. Luckily, all they've lost are physical possessions...her family and her fiancee's family are all safe and accounted for. Still, the heartbreak and sadness and devastation is so, so real to them. Please keep her and her family in your thoughts.

With that, I'm off to work on what I hope will be some yummy cream cheese pumpkin bread. Be blessed and well, all. Happy Thanksgiving!